If your eyes have spotted your crush and your heart is bursting, writing your thoughts out can be a great way to communicate your feelings to them. But there is a fine line between romantic and creepy, and it's a line you definitely don't want to cross. So here are a few tips to help you in your quest to connect as a secret admirer!
The need to love and be loved never goes away, no matter how time changes or the world evolves. That special someone can hold us spellbound, and in some cases, resulting in the weird inability to form coherent sentences. Writing love notes has given people a tough time for centuries. So how can you write what you feel in a way they'll accept?
Who Is A Secret Admirer?
So you can figure out where you stand, let's talk a bit about what a secret admirer is. You are a secret admirer when you develop feelings of love and admiration for a person and want to express this feeling without revealing your identity.
But there is a huge difference between being obsessed with a person and being an actual admirer. The moment your actions go overboard, you shift from admirer to creep. Your true intentions automatically become pretty questionable.
The actions of secret admirers are harmless and usually a little awkward – nervous smiles, waving, and anonymous flowers and notes. If this describes you, then you are a secret admirer.
A Secret Admirer's Goal
Surprised? You don't have to be. Anonymous admirers, like an unspoken community, have a common goal. It's not just a game to be played or a bet to be won. Your purpose as a mystery admirer is to make communication possible and pave way for you to woo that special someone without fear of face-to-face rejection.
Being a secret admirer can be like being in a haven, a comfort zone. It's a place where you are comfortable to express yourself without stuttering or feeling intimidated. And (this is important) it's far, far away from the friend zone. So you see, this position has its good side.
Maybe you suddenly freeze when you attempt to talk to your crush. But relax, this doesn't make you a weirdo. There are tons of people who are plagued with fear at the thought of expressing themselves to someone they admire. It's perfectly natural to feel that way.
Taking Action!
Crushing on someone without taking action isn't cool. Don't let your love go to waste. One sure way of making this happen is through writing! What better way to put your feelings out on the table than with a pen and paper?
Believe me when I say that you can never go wrong with writing a note or letter to that secret crush. As long as you're not being creepy, everyone appreciated knowing that someone cares about them - even if they don't return the feelings.
Factors To Consider When Writing Without Being Creepy
Before giving life to your feelings on paper, be careful with what your note should and shouldn't contain. You can avoid certain pitfalls that may end up ruining the tone of your note. Yes! That's right, set the tone of your note so it doesn't scream "stalker" or "creep!"
What To Do
Focus on their uniqueness. In expressing yourself, your primary focus should be on what makes them different and what you appreciate about them. In order words, share why you're interested in getting to know them better.
It doesn't necessarily have to do with looks - it can be centered on inner beauty, like their acts of kindness, humility, etc. You might not want to dwell much on how you love and can't exist without them so that your note won't end up been interpreted as obsessive. Avoid using obvious cliches - you want to sound genuine. Remember that most people can tell when it's just flattery.
Another 'not so obvious' tip to use is to keep it short, simple, and sweet. Let it be a pure and concise message. It's okay to be romantic and even poetic but your goal should be simplicity.
Your first note could start with a sentence or two about how they have impressed you, like a presentation they gave or a book they read. Or maybe they answered a question in class that blew you away.
Finally, close with something simple, like "Thank you. I look forward to seeing you every day." Remember, if all goes well, there will be plenty of time to share more of your feelings with them.
What Not To Do
Don't sound like a stalker. The urge to prove to your crush that you've been paying attention to minute details about them is nice but this can be somewhat tricky. Avoid details like their birthday, home address, etc.
Next, try not to go on and on and on. Keep your note sweet and to the point. Also, definitely don't say things like, "I'll die if I can't date you." That just makes people uncomfortable. Yes, you might have some strong emotions, but you'll want to keep a lid on that. Or find a more relaxed way to say that.
The last thing to avoid is signing out with your name. The idea is to be anonymous, and that means you get to sign out using "your secret admirer." If the plan is to reveal your identity in the note, then you can include your name, otherwise including your name kind of ruins the whole point.
