How To Use Reverse Psychology To Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Let us engage in a brief mental exercise.

Transport yourself to your childhood days. Recall all those instances when your parents declared that you couldn't accomplish something.

With that in mind, consider this query: did their prohibition always prevent you from pursuing it?

Or did you occasionally proceed and undertake it regardless of their warning?

You likely acknowledged instances where you disregarded your parents' directives. This can be attributed to a potent psychological phenomenon that many find challenging to overcome.

Is it possible to utilize this same psychological principle to regain the affection of an ex-boyfriend?

Here is the reply: affirmative! However, if you are curious about how to employ reverse psychology to rekindle your relationship with an ex-boyfriend, you'll have to keep perusing for further information and guidance.


To begin this tutorial, it is essential to comprehend the meaning of reverse psychology. Although you received a brief overview earlier, we'll delve deeper and provide you with additional information here.

In essence, reverse psychology refers to the inclination to do something that one is advised against. This phenomenon is commonly observed in children and adolescents.

Visualize a wall that bears a sign that reads, "Do Not Touch - Wet Paint." The sign serves as a cautionary warning against touching it.

Initially, you may not have any desire to touch it. However, now that you have encountered a sign forbidding you from doing so, you may become curious and start to question if the paint is indeed wet.

Gazing at it for an extended period can prompt you to desire to verify the wetness of the paint by touching it yourself. With time, we'd hazard a guess that there will be several handprints or fingerprints on the wall, left by others who have entertained similar thoughts.

So, why does this occur? Why don't we simply obey instructions?

This all stems from the very essence of reverse psychology, which is rooted in a fundamental aspect of human nature:


Here's a curious fact: items become more alluring when they are out of reach or off-limits.

For example, you may have abundant pebbles in your driveway, but that doesn't mean you would wear them as adornments. Instead, you would desire something extraordinary and aesthetically pleasing for your necklace, such as a rare and precious gemstone.

The fact that these things are harder to acquire and require additional effort to obtain only adds to their appeal, rather than detracting from it.

Obtaining that gemstone, or anything else that is not easily accessible, serves as a status symbol. It demonstrates to others that you were capable of acquiring something that was challenging or unattainable.

Men have similar tendencies, even in matters of love. They are attracted to things that are unattainable.


Your mission: become the person that he can't have

The key to your plan in winning back your ex-boyfriend will be to position yourself as the rare gemstone, or the wall with the "Wet Paint" sign on it. (Well, maybe not the latter example, but you get the idea.)

Keep in mind, reverse psychology is centered around the notion of desiring something that is typically unattainable. So, even though you may miss your ex-boyfriend, you will need to put your acting skills to use and convince him that you don't have an interest in him.

It's important that your ex-boyfriend believes that your interest in him is not very high, and that you have better options and he has competition, even if that is not the reality.

The challenge here is to create the illusion of disinterest in your ex-boyfriend even though all you desire is to rekindle the relationship. How do you achieve this objective?

Fear not, it's not as intricate as it appears. We'll guide you every step of the way.

Follow the no contact rule

The key to making yourself rare is to become less accessible. If you are always reachable through text, social media, or in person, your ex-boyfriend won't feel the need to put in the effort to be with you. The idea is to create an impression that you have better options and that he needs to compete for your attention. By doing so, you will trigger the psychological effect of reverse psychology and increase your chances of winning back your ex-boyfriend.

But when you become rare, he'll start to miss you and realize the value of having you in his life. By reducing your availability and creating a little distance, you'll make yourself more desirable in his eyes.

This means not texting him, not reaching out to him on social media, and avoiding any other forms of communication for a predetermined period. By doing so, you'll become a rare and valuable commodity in his eyes, making him work harder to get you back.

By going through a no-contact rule, you'll create an aura of mystery around yourself that he won't be able to resist. By cutting off communication for at least a month, you're giving him the opportunity to miss you and wonder what you're up to, making him want you even more. This will make you a rare gemstone in his eyes, increasing your value in his mind.

During the no-contact period, you'll also focus on yourself and work on improving different aspects of your life. Whether it's taking up a new hobby or working on personal growth, this time away from your ex-boyfriend will give you the chance to become the best version of yourself. By the end of the no-contact period, you'll not only be a rare gemstone, but you'll be a shining one too.

Focus on bettering yourself

This is what we refer to as implementing the second phase of your plan while you are observing the no contact rule.

Instead of just waiting for the no-contact period to end, you'll be actively making positive changes in your life. This includes focusing on self-improvement, setting and achieving new goals, and exploring new interests. By doing so, you'll become more confident, attractive, and desirable, and your ex-boyfriend will take notice of the positive changes in you.

Now is the perfect time to start pursuing these interests. This is your opportunity to work on yourself, to become the best version of yourself that you can be. Not only will this improve your life, but it will also show your ex-boyfriend that you're not just sitting around waiting for him to come back. You're actively working on yourself and your own goals, which will make you all the more attractive to him.

This is your chance to finally pursue the things you've been putting off. The no-contact period is the perfect opportunity to start making moves towards your goals and interests. So take advantage of it!

The purpose of this phase is to enhance your self-esteem by transforming yourself into the best version you can be.

By becoming the best version of yourself, you'll be setting yourself up for success in the next stage of the plan.

Talk to him, but don't make it obvious you're trying to get him back

To get your ex boyfriend back, you can't simply wait for him to approach you. You need to initiate communication and let him know you're open to talking.

It's crucial to make the first move after completing a no-contact period as your ex-boyfriend may have been anticipating a reach-out from your end but it never happened. Opening up the line of communication will signal to him that you're ready to talk.

To clear things up, you need to make the first move in opening up communication after the no-contact period has ended. Your ex-boyfriend may have secretly been waiting for your call, text, or message and if none of those things happened, he might assume that you plan to avoid him indefinitely.

It's essential to initiate communication with your ex-boyfriend after a no-contact period. You don't want him to think that you're going to avoid him forever, so you need to reach out and let him know that you're open to talking. Start by sending a text and engaging in a conversation that is easy for him to respond to.

Initiate a conversation with your ex-boyfriend by asking him questions and encouraging a healthy back-and-forth exchange.

But don't give in to his demands and let him think you are always available. End the conversation by telling him you have to go, when the conversation is slowing down or when you sense him distancing himself.

Later, send him another text message.

Let him wonder why you're not replying immediately, but don't make it too long. This creates a sense of anticipation and keeps the conversation interesting for both of you. By doing this, you're establishing yourself as a valuable, rare gemstone who is not easily accessible at all times, making him want you more.

Consider checking out Text Chemistry, a program created by relationship expert Amy North, which offers insight into texting in a way that ignites a man's passion. In the program, Amy shares her proven techniques and text templates that have been successful in captivating men.

Tease him a little

To add more excitement to your interaction, as you engage in a back-and-forth conversation, sprinkle some flirting in, but keep it subtle.

Sprinkle some flirtatious comments into your conversations with him. Express how you miss doing things together or bring up one of your favorite dates with him.

Avoid talking about your emotions or expressing your longing for him during this stage of the conversation. Keep things light and flirtatious, but avoid delving into deeper, more emotional topics.

If you encounter him face-to-face, opt for an attire that boosts your confidence and charm. Infuse subtle flirting into the interaction, but avoid excessive expressions of longing and desire for reconciliation.

At the conclusion of the meeting, make eye contact with him or give him a flirty smile as you leave. This will make a lasting impression on him.

Keep being your best self

Hold on to your hats, as this is the most crucial part of the entire reverse psychology strategy...

It's crucial that you strive to become the best version of yourself that you can be. Focus on reaching those goals you've been putting off.

And the reward for becoming the best version of yourself is two-fold: either your ex-boyfriend will realize the value in having you back in his life or someone else will recognize the gem that you've become and sweep you off your feet.

When we go through a breakup, we often tend to hold onto a negative perception of our ex, focusing on their flaws as a means to get over them more easily.

But if you work on improving yourself and addressing those flaws, he'll see that the image he has of you is no longer accurate.

The key to making reverse psychology work through the Gemstone Strategy is to improve yourself to such a degree that your ex-boyfriend realizes the image he has of you in his mind is outdated and inaccurate. By striving to be the best version of yourself, you will challenge his perception of you and make a lasting impression.

The more you improve yourself and become the best version of yourself, the more attractive you'll become to him. This, in turn, will ignite a spark of desire in him, making him work harder to win you back. All of this stems from the idea that he believes you don't need him, which will only make him want you even more.