How To Turn Down A Date Over Text (With Examples)


Feeling desired is a pleasant experience, but for many of us, receiving an invitation for a proper date is a rare occurrence. However, it can be quite disappointing when a text arrives inviting you out for the weekend, and you're not interested. Although you might be inclined to accept the invitation to avoid hurting their feelings or for the sake of trying something new, it would be an unproductive use of your and their time. It's better to end things early to prevent any potential harm. This guide outlines how to politely decline a date through a text message.


Advantages Of Asking Someone Out Over Text

1. It's less awkward if they say no

Texting has the advantage of avoiding the discomfort of face-to-face interactions, which is one of its greatest benefits. While this can also be a drawback in certain situations, such as when you need to have a serious conversation, it's helpful when you need to reject a date invitation. Through texting, you can decline the offer with politeness and without experiencing the awkwardness that comes with doing it in person.


2. It's less anxiety-inducing if you're shy and/or not very assertive

For individuals who are more introverted and lack self-assurance, asking someone out through text can be an appealing alternative. Although they still face the possibility of rejection, the prospect is slightly less daunting when it's just text on a screen.


3. It's a good way to test the waters

Perhaps the person was uncertain about your feelings towards them. They may have picked up on some flirtatious signals, but weren't entirely sure. Therefore, they opted to text you to test the waters and see if you reciprocate their interest. If things don't go as planned, they can brush it off and pretend that their intentions were not romantic. This way, they have nothing to lose, and it's a low-risk situation for them.


4. It avoids putting the other person on the spot

When someone asks you out while you're at work or school, it can catch you off guard and leave you speechless. Even though you know you need to respond, the situation can be overwhelming, and you may not have time to process your thoughts. However, if they ask you out through text, you might still be taken aback, but you won't feel as trapped or cornered in the moment.


5. You can take time to think about the situation

Although some people believe that you shouldn't have to contemplate whether you're interested enough in someone to go on a date with them, the reality is that sometimes you do. It's possible that you've never considered them in a romantic way, but once they ask you out, you may start to reevaluate your feelings and wonder if there's potential for something more.


6. You can craft the perfect response and avoid putting your foot in your mouth

When declining a date invitation via text, you can do so with confidence because you've had time to carefully consider the message you're sending. In contrast, when you reject someone in person, it can be challenging to choose the right words and avoid saying something hurtful. With a text message, there's usually less risk of saying the wrong thing (although it's not entirely impossible).


Why You Should Be Frank If You're Not Interested

Avoiding wasting time is important, and even though rejecting someone after they have expressed their feelings to you can be uncomfortable, it's the right thing to do. Although it may hurt their feelings and cause disappointment, going along with it just to avoid disappointment won't be beneficial for either party.


Placing someone in the friend zone can be uncomfortable, but it doesn't have to be cruel or awkward. If the person who asked you out is genuinely amazing, they'll value your presence in their life in any capacity. Moreover, you may even develop a meaningful friendship with them. However, if you're certain that you won't see them romantically, it's best to be honest and upfront about it.

Examples Of How To Turn Down A Date Over Text

1. "That would be cool… things are super hectic right now, but we'll figure something out!"

Admittedly, saying that you're "super hectic" is a bit of a stretch since life is always busy, and they may follow up with more questions about your availability. Nonetheless, for those who are skilled at understanding social cues, this response may be sufficient to kindly let them down.


2. "That's really sweet. I'd love to hang out, but just as friends"

Expressing gratitude for their courage in expressing their feelings for you acknowledges their feelings and leaves the possibility for friendship open while making it clear that a romantic relationship is not on the table.

3. "Thank you so much for being so straightforward, but I'm not interested in you romantically"

By responding with honesty and directness, you are reciprocating their straightforwardness, which is ultimately a service to them. Individuals who possess genuine maturity will likely recognize and value this honesty.


4. "You're really great, but I'm actually dating someone else right now, sorry"

Fabricating that you are currently seeing someone else is a risky strategy, especially if it isn't true. However, if you genuinely believe that it's the only way to exit the situation, it can be an acceptable option.

5. "You're a really great person, I just don't think there's a spark between us Sorry!"

Offering a sincere compliment to the person while also conveying that you are not interested in them romantically can be an effective and considerate way to turn them down.


6. "I love spending time with you, but I don't really want to date you. I hope you understand!"

By communicating that your feelings towards them are solely platonic, you are not discrediting their positive qualities or character. You are being truthful about your own emotions, which is a reasonable and respectable decision. They should not fault you for your honesty.


7. "I'm so flattered that you like me, but unfortunately, I don't like you in that way"

Although this response may be harsh and potentially damage their ego, if you are aware that they respond best to direct communication, it may be appropriate to use a response like this.

8. "I don't think I'm the girl for you, but I know she's out there. I really hope you find her"

This approach can come across as insincere if you're not able to convey genuine feelings. However, if you truly appreciate the person but don't see them romantically, it's okay to express that to them.


9. "I'm not really interested in dating anyone right now — I'm happy on my own"

This is a valid reason, as being single can be a fulfilling experience, so expressing that as a reason for not pursuing a relationship is acceptable.

More Tips For Rejecting Someone Over Text

1. Keep it short and sweet

When turning down a date via text, avoid over-explaining or engaging in lengthy conversation. Cut off any romantic chat ASAP to end the awkwardness quickly.


2. Take a step back on communication

It's important to give the person you turned down some space and time to process their feelings after you cut off their romantic hopes. While you may hope to continue or forge a friendship with them, it's not always the best idea to pursue that immediately.

3. Don't be swayed by guilt

Stay firm and don't let guilt trips or emotional manipulation sway you if they can't accept that you're not interested.


4. Don't beat around the bush/give them a reason to hope

It's important to avoid giving any false hope or leaving the impression that your feelings may change when turning down a date via text. Make it clear that your decision is final and there's no possibility of a romantic relationship between you.

5. Keep compliments to a minimum

You want to strike a balance between being kind and complimentary while also making it clear that you don't have romantic feelings for them. Being overly effusive could give them false hope and make the rejection more confusing for them.