Published in Sep 2018 / Updated in Aug 2021
Have you ever been brave enough to let yourself fully love? Have you had your love abused by the one you gave your heart? Do you still miss the fun times you had together like the laughs and adventures? You genuinely believed nothing could separate the two of you, but you wake up one morning, and your soul mate has lied or cheated, and you feel the world tumbling down around you.
Well, it’s time to move on. As much as we all desire a new and healthy relationship after this, it can be hard to trust again. How do we learn to love and trust again?
First, always remember the phrase that change is as good as a rest. It can be hard to find a change in life, but it is always good. Everything happens for a reason in life no matter how painful it is. Always be patient and let time work its magic. Try directing most of your efforts and energy toward healing and moving on. Remember the good and the bad times, as this will enable you to get the whole picture.
Also, learn how to trust yourself before trusting others. Your inner wisdom should never be overwhelmed by your feelings. You are not to blame for what happened. He made a choice that reflects his character and not yours. Engage in daily activities that will make you feel happy and grateful for yourself. Avoid any feelings of regrets, guilt, or anger. Instead, appreciate this beautiful moment in your life that gave you valuable experiences and lessons. Trust that there is someone better for you.
Keep an open mind in the dating scene. Yes, he betrayed you and things never turned out the way you expected. Move on, as there is a time for everything. Instead, envision a beautiful future for yourself because life still has a lot more to offer. Try not to compare every potential partner with him. Seriously, always talking about your ex can make a date very annoying. Forget the past and keep an open mind when you meet new people. You should prioritize having fun ahead of any expectations.
Stop the obsession of thinking about where things started falling apart. Right now, offer love and kindness to yourself. Seeking validation from others through dating will only worsen the situation. Pursue things that matter the most to you and adds to your fulfillment. Spend your time revisiting your forgotten hobbies and interests. Also, keep your family and friends close as this will make you feel better about yourself.
Give your best when you eventually meet that right person. Your last relationship should offer you valuable lessons to learn from. For example, if he had an affair, perhaps he was lured by being offered love elsewhere, and you ignored some warning signs. Never repeat the same mistakes you made. Keep all the promises you make and discuss any fears with him. According to Elle Huerta, CEO Mend (heartbreak recovery app) “As hard as it is, remind yourself of this: I am still lovable.”
In conclusion, everyone handles their heartbreak differently. Some cry it out, dance it out, and others deal with it alone, with TV and tea. All these are okay but, learning to trust and love after heartbreak requires time and patience. A lot of caution should be taken during this journey. Move one step at a time. Finally, the anger, fear, and disappointment will be put behind you. Always remember, you are and you always will be lovable.