Starting a relationship with someone who has recently gone through a breakup can bring up questions about their feelings towards their ex-partner. It's normal to feel some jealousy or concern and it's understandable to want to know the truth. While exhibiting one or two signs may not be a major issue, if multiple signs are present, it may be worth having a conversation about it.
1. Your boyfriend is still in contact with his ex, but you're out of the loop
It's acceptable for some individuals to remain friends with their exes. Nevertheless, if your boyfriend is secretly texting or dining with his ex without informing you, it is a major warning signal. If their relationship is truly platonic, he should want you both to be friends or, at the very least, on friendly terms. At a minimum, he should be transparent about his social activities.
2. He compares you to her
It's normal to compare past experiences with new ones, especially at the beginning of a relationship. However, if your boyfriend is still making comparisons to his ex despite being in a long-term relationship with you, it may indicate that he's still thinking too much about her and not enough about you. While it's understandable to draw on past experiences to make sense of new ones, dwelling on comparisons for too long can be a red flag.
3. He has some of her old stuff
If your boyfriend is unwilling to part with sentimental items from his ex, such as a creepy teddy bear or a stack of her clothes, it may be worth reconsidering your relationship. While there could be innocent reasons for holding onto these items, such as finding comfort in the teddy bear or hoping for a reconciliation with his ex, it's important to evaluate whether his attachment to these objects is healthy for your relationship.
4. He won't commit to you
If you're observing signs that suggest your boyfriend misses his ex and he's also hesitant to commit to you, this could be an additional warning signal. Perhaps he's afraid to commit because he still has feelings for his ex and thinks she might return. To know for sure, it may require a deep conversation with him and some time to see how he responds.
5. He likes or comments on her social media
If your boyfriend is consistently liking and commenting on his ex's social media posts, it might be worth asking him about it. Although some people argue that liking a post is harmless, it can still send a message to the person that you're interested in them. If your boyfriend is doing this, it's important to understand why and ask him about his motivations.
6. He seems emotionally disconnected from you
This point should be considered alongside others. Feeling disconnected from your boyfriend can be due to a variety of factors, such as work or other personal issues. However, if you're simultaneously questioning whether he's still thinking about his ex, it might be a cause for concern. In this case, it's important to look at all the signs and assess the situation as a whole.
7. You're scarily similar to her
It's possible that there's a reason why he chose you if you share a striking resemblance and have identical interests to her. However, it's also worth considering that some people simply have a preferred type, so the situation can be somewhat ambiguous.
8. You started dating really quickly after they broke up
The timing is crucial in this situation. Although not always the case, beginning a relationship shortly after a breakup may result in unresolved emotions towards his ex. It's common for individuals to require time to reflect and recover after a breakup. It might be worthwhile to inquire whether he has moved on.
9. He's still angry about the breakup
It's typical to have lingering emotions about a past breakup, particularly if it was unpleasant. However, when someone enters a new relationship, they typically move on and become indifferent to their ex. Although some residual anger may persist, they usually don't care much anymore. If he's still exceedingly angry about the breakup, it may still be too fresh for him.
10. You have a gut feeling
The most crucial advice is to follow your instincts. If you have a gut feeling that something is amiss, have an open discussion with your partner. If he's a decent person, he'll be honest with you about what's happening.