how to tell if you were raised by a narcissist

People are raised in all sorts of different ways and environments, and the way you are raised can have a big impact on your future. While some people are raised in very loving and secure environments, others are raised in dysfunctional ones that can negatively impact them in various ways.

Your parents and the way they act around you can also have a huge effect on your future – you may have been raised by very open, loving parents or you may have been raised by a narcissist. When it comes to the latter, there are a number of ways you can tell, some of which are outlined in this article.

Some Signs You Were Raised by a Narcissist

Many people have been raised by a narcissist, and in some cases, both parents have narcissistic traits. Of course, as children and young adults, we do not always realize this is happening because we are not familiar with what narcissism is.

Some signs that may indicate you were raised by a narcissist include:

Emotional Blackmail

One thing that many narcissistic parents will do is to subtly blackmail their kids emotionally. For instance, you may have plans for a night out, but your parent doesn’t want you to go, so they may feign illness and say that they cannot manage alone if you go out.

These little, subtle methods of blackmail can have a big impact on you and what you do while living with your parents. You may change your mind about things you want to do simply because of the emotional blackmail.

Total Control

A narcissistic parent generally wants total control, and this sometimes applies to both their partner and their children. You may find that everything you do has to be run by the narcissistic parent, who then decides whether or not you can do it.

Of course, all parents have a responsibility to ensure that their children are safe and don’t get up to things they shouldn’t get up to. However, with a narcissist, it doesn’t matter whether what you are doing is good, bad, or indifferent; the final decision still lies with them.

Making You Feel Guilty

Some parents have a knack for making their kids feel guilty, and this is something that a narcissistic parent is especially good at. You may find yourself being guilt-tripped at every given opportunity, and this can have a big impact on your life.

This guilt can relate to many things, from making you feel guilty about going out to making you feel bad about wanting to be more independent as you get older. Some kids, even as adults, tend to change what they do, what they say, and how they act because of their parent’s guilt-tripping them.

Using Manipulation

As with any narcissist, a narcissistic parent will use manipulation in order to get what they want and get you to do what they want. For instance, you may be rewarded and shown love when you do something that they want you to do, but it may be the total opposite if it is not something that they want you to do.

Naturally, a parent’s love should be unconditional, and they should love and support you through good and bad. With a narcissist, you will only see this love and support on occasion when you do something that benefits the parent.

Taking Little or No Interest

One other thing you may find if you have a narcissistic parent is that they do not take any interest in what you do. For instance, your parent may never be interested in how school is going, what your grades are like, and whether you have made friends.

This total lack of interest can make a child feel unloved and alone, which is obviously not how a child should feel when growing up.

Move Past Your Childhood

As an adult, it can be difficult to get past the things you learned from being raised by a narcissist. However, it is vital that you do try to move past this period in your life. Otherwise, it can have a negative impact on your future.