One of the most awkward moments in any relationship can start when one of you says to talk dirty to the other. How to talk dirty? Should you start naming all the dishes in the sync or try something a bit more delicate?
Clearly, naughty whispers don't have to be weird, but if you're not born with it, here's your go-to guide that will make him or her sweat.
There's nothing dirty in knowing a thing or two, whether you're texting, sexting, FaceTimeing, or having a heart-to-heart with your loved one. However, despite all our sexual revolutions, we are not as open about sex talk as we should be.
Instead of jumping into a conversation straight out of an adult movie, try some less cheesy yet efficient moves. If you're talking, it's more than just what you're saying. It's also the way you're saying sweet and kinky nothings, so it's kind of like a roleplay. So, let's start there:
Talk dirty, act dirty!
Who's a bad girl? You are! Well, you most likely aren't, but the thing is that you have to get into that mood to know how to talk dirty properly. You need to think of yourself as a seductress and someone who's got her guy or a girl wrapped around her little finger.
Confidence is everything, and it sure does help to practice in front of the mirror. Wear a sexy outfit, and practice with small sentences. Your project is nothing you should be ashamed of, so be comfortable in your skin and do use your imagination.
Maybe you truly are a bad gal, but you haven't had the chance to unleash that side. Now it's your time to start speaking sexy.
Start with texting
Suppose you or your partner are shy—the answer to how to talk dirty lies in a simple SMS. Sending him a dirty message is the best way to start. Some people are shy to start an erotic conversation live, so a text message is the best way to break the initial anxiety.
Send him a simple message like "I want you so bad", and you'll see how positively his reaction will surprise you.
Most of us desire to be the object of lust of a person we like. Creating sexual tension is a process that you both should enjoy, and that is why it's best to do it step by step. Don't rush and get to the point right away.
But keep in mind that sexting shouldn't be a habit. It's something that should stimulate your relationship, but try not to be predictable. Simply surprise your partner with messages over and over again.
How to talk dirty? Be cheeky!
Feel free to express what you feel and think. Remember, it's a game between the two of you and let your imagination run wild.
No one is recording you, so feel free to express your dirty thoughts to your partner.
Try to find out what excites your partner the most. Something that excited your ex doesn't necessarily mean that it will excite your current partner as well.
If you're not sure how to get started, here are a few examples:
Talking about your underwear can be a good start. For example, tell them that you would like them to help you choose your new lingerie, and you'll see how the conversation will go in the desired direction. People love to talk about that, and it stimulates their imagination.
Tease them until you drive them insane
It's not a secret that guys are visual types, and so are many gals. Instead of learning nothing but talking dirty, add a photo or video for a quicker, steamier reaction.
Something like a short striptease video in underwear with the simple text "I'm waiting for you…" always works. It doesn't necessarily mean you should give a performance of a lifetime, but merely show your person that you want them, and other words are not needed.
Non-verbal communication is all a part of a healthy, mature relationship, so by learning how to talk dirty, you should also leave enough room for sexy moves and more.
Sexual humor is an aphrodisiac as well
In your head, this whole scene looks like something from "50 Shades of Grey". In reality, it will be nothing like it. You're not actors, and you don't have a script. So, awkward moments will follow. And you should not underestimate that your clumsy attempts on how to talk dirty might end up with passionate lovemaking.
Your partner wants you to be comfortable. And even your silly mistakes, or whatever doesn't go according to your little scenario, will be fine. Life consists of tiny, unplanned moments that often take our breaths away! Stop focusing on what might go wrong and be comfortable with more than sex talk. Learn to embrace sex humor as well!
Tell them what you want
If you're new in the world of erotic vocabulary, you can start with what you already know. If something feels right, you confirm it. Learn to express yourself to get what you want, pun intended.
There's no need to be vulgar or to say things you think are insulting. Test the waters since your partner might feel the same. Be vague, natural, and your charming self. Tell your lover what you need from them, what you like and what's on your mind. You're most likely already doing it, so keep up the excellent work!
Foolproof ways to start learning the erotic language
Now that your confidence is starting to build up, it's time to make some severe and straightforward foolproof phrases. You can memorize them, and use them as your guidelines until you learn how to talk dirty on your own.
Of course, you're starting with vague, short sentences. Then, things are heating up, and you're talking a bit naughtier. And when everything sorts of explodes, you're doing the nasty and saying some honestly and amazingly dirty stuff. Don't forget moaning because that comes naturally to all of us.
You can say, "I'm so turned on by you. "It's innocent enough for dirty talk. Then go to "I get so turned on just thinking about the last time we made love." If you're outside, merely say, "can you guess if I'm wearing panties?" and add, "I can't wait to get you home." See? It's not that scary!
Now we are moving on to more juicer statements: "I can't wait to have you inside me. / I can't wait to be inside you." Then add: "I'm so hungry" while looking at your partner's pants. You can, of course, say the actual name of the organ. It won't bite.
And finally, we got to the most amusing dirty talk phrases: "If you keep looking at me that way, I'm not responsible for what happens to your manhood/womanhood." As things progress, say something like: "I could spend all day between your legs." Add a juicy statement: "What naughty little thing do you want me to do to you next?"
Essentially, dirty, sexy, or erotic talk, hot and steamy stories, are something you learn through your relationship. Maybe it will be easier for you than for your partner, but it's not a contest. It is something that comes from within, and it takes trust and a lot of desire to spice things up.
How to talk dirty simply means you want to explore your sexual life beyond bedroom doors and seductive glances. It's a pleasant banter with many sexual innuendos and puns. Relax and enjoy the ride!