No one of us is above it and that's the universal truth. Whatever valid feminist discourse is pervading the nation at any given moment in time, one universal truth remains. We all want the guys to like us. To love us. To desire us. These are the facts, pals.
As such, I've compiled a short-long list of various techniques, mannerisms, or tactics to get your guy on your side. Failing that, I know a few hitmen that can juggle him into accordance!
I'm joking, aren't I?
It's always a fine line between what makes us feel good and what makes us look good. Even more so, it's often hard to establish whether we are doing things for the right reasons. Are we wearing a short skirt because we feel sexy in it, or because we think we will look sexy for guys? It's tough to know, but I would wager that we don't need to spend too long analysing every decision that we make against a feminist/progressive agenda. Yes, we all want a better future and more equal standards of existence, but there are more productive ways of supporting that cause than just doing things that we think we 'should' be doing. The goal is empowerment, not to be constantly regulated as to what constitutes allowable 'sexuality' or 'gender performance'.
Therefore, there are a few ways in which we can achieve a slightly more interesting day and make our partner feel cherished – without having to necessarily resort to sex all the time!
I know! But also bear with me because I write this from a delayed public train at midnight on my way back home while the Les Mis soundtrack gets me through the day. Essentially, I'm ready for a rant or a wholesome validation station wagon.
I chose the latter.
In terms of your personal attributes, I'll start us off with an initial discourse on ways in which our personal conduct can make someone's day. These small changes don't need to sacrifice our sense of self entirely or at all, so don't fear!
1. Change it up a bit! If you normally go for a full face of makeup, why not try going barefaced the next time you see your guy? Or, equally, if you are happy just chilling without make-up normally, maybe try a dash of eye-shadow or lipstick. If the guys have to make an effort, so do you! If not, why not go rogue with accessories or some eye-catching jewellery. If nothing else it will catch the light and get their attention that way!
2. Feel confident in your own skin! Confidence is basically gold dust in mating rituals. When you've got it, guys can sense that and you immediately stand out from the crowd. Know yourself and then you can present to the men around you exactly what they want. Hint: it's you.
3. Play hard to get – just a bit. If you're normally a very punctual (obsessive) replier, why not leave their message for an hour or two. Or leave them on read (if you have the nerve and want to see if they're going to try again). Don't do this outside the bounds of politeness, you are trying to court him, after all. But don't convey that you're always available for him. It's a fact universally acknowledged that guys want what they can't have. Such is the way of the world.
And for more manifestable sources – here are some compliments to make their week!
1. Your smile could probably light up a city block
2. I would do stupid things to hear you laugh
3. I love us/I love our dynamic – this one doesn't seem as important as the big ILY on its own, however, this pairing of unified language and the explicit appreciation of your relationship together is extremely important. Your loved one can then feel both comfortable and powerful and desirable in a relationship, and alone.
4. You remind me of Spring
5. You have something of a world-ending voice
6. I could listen to you talk for days
7. Have I ever told you how much it meant to me that you (insert nuanced memory)]
Here are some more small ways in which you can feel like you're nurturing your loved ones…
1. Facetime them just when you want a chat. Texting is so last century, and it's always nice to know someone misses your face.
2. This reminded me of you – even if it's a funny Facebook tag or an Instagram DM, this is important. You might remind him of puppies or something goofy like people falling over, but either way, if he looks at his social media and thinks of you, you're golden. Plus, you get to see some excellent wholesome content; it's a win-win.
Just work with what you yourself would have done to you, and bear in mind their own personal boundaries, and you'll be grand!
Now all that's left to do is hope that my train gets me back home before midnight.
It's not looking good, but that's a story for another day, friends.