Starting to date someone new can be a rollercoaster of emotions - some positive, some negative, but all intense. It's important to periodically take stock of yourself and your emotions to ensure that you enter into the relationship with self-awareness. Many people overlook this option and end up rushing into a situation that could end up hurting them. Here are some tips on how to stop overthinking and avoid making that mistake.
1. Center yourself
It's common to get caught up in the excitement of a new relationship without taking time to reflect. To set clear expectations, it's important to consider past experiences and present needs to determine what you want from a partner. Your expectations shape how you evaluate your new partner's behavior, which can help prevent future relationship problems. Don't be the person who relies on their partner to define their desires and then blames them when the relationship fails.
2. Assess your needs
Make sure to genuinely mean it this time. It's tempting to ignore or take for granted your feelings and assume that the future will just work out on its own. However, you need to take control of the situation and speak up for yourself to understand what you want and how your partner can meet those needs. Often, we feel unsatisfied in relationships because we didn't communicate specific desires. Don't hesitate to ask for what you want at any point in the relationship.
3. Talk to the person you're dating
If you find yourself overthinking, be gentle with yourself. Overthinking can trigger a negative cycle of thoughts that can be difficult to manage. It's important to remember that overthinking is a common experience, and it's not your fault. Take a deep breath, and have an honest conversation with your partner. They're with you because they care about your happiness, so they will be receptive to your needs. Consider practical ways to express your concerns and work together to find solutions that work for both of you.
4. Ask your friends for advice
Consider reaching out to your family for their perspective. They may have valuable insights that can help you feel less isolated and navigate the situation. Sharing experiences and resources can help make the world a less confusing place. As you spend more time with your partner, you'll gain more context and perspective. While some concerns may surface, many others won't. This knowledge can provide reassurance as you move forward in this relationship and others.
5. Talk to a therapist
If you feel uncomfortable talking to friends about your overthinking, consider seeing a therapist. It's common to feel intimidated or unworthy of seeking therapy, but it's important to let go of those thoughts and prioritize your needs. Speaking with a therapist can help identify the root of the problem, allowing you to take steps to prevent similar issues in future relationships. Most importantly, it can help you focus on your well-being and mental health.
6. Unpack your trigger points
Reflect on the reasons behind your stress responses and shift your focus towards your desired emotional state. Setting goals and tangible outcomes can help you regain a sense of control and improve your well-being. While dating can feel uncertain, it's important to avoid internal struggles with yourself. Consider how you can effect positive change and keep track of your past behaviors to improve future outcomes.
7. Stop comparing the person you're dating to your exes
It's unproductive to compare your past behavior to that of others. Instead, take responsibility for your actions and avoid dwelling on them or blaming your current partner. Focusing on these negative aspects will only lead to frustration and stress.
8. Don't be afraid to get the hell out of a relationship
If you require time for yourself or don't feel prepared for a relationship, it's perfectly acceptable to take a break. Don't add the pressure of a new relationship into an already difficult situation. Remember that you owe it to yourself to prioritize your well-being. Relationships can be challenging, but with effort, they can improve. However, if it becomes too demanding and detrimental to your mental health, it's important to step away.
Stopping overthinking in a new relationship can be challenging, and there's no easy solution. However, there are numerous ways to learn and enhance your experience. It's essential to take the time to explore and improve yourself.
