The disappointment of being flaked on by a date can be crushing, and it's crucial to know how to respond in a way that won't damage the relationship. The way you handle the situation can make or break the future of your relationship.
1. Don't Take It Personally
It's easy to feel hurt when your plans with someone fall through without sufficient notice, but it's important to keep in mind that life happens. Listen to their explanation and determine if it's a valid reason for canceling. If it is, respond with kindness and empathy. Avoid overthinking the situation, especially if they have never given you a reason to doubt their sincerity.
2. Become A More Interesting Person
Unless there's an urgent matter, the main reason why I've canceled a date in the past is that I didn't think it was worth the effort involved, from getting ready to holding a conversation. If you want to avoid being canceled on in the future, consider planning more exciting dates or being a more engaging and enjoyable person to be around. This will make them think twice about canceling plans with you.
3. Hit Them With A "thanks For Letting Me Know"
It's important to appreciate when your date takes the time to inform you of a change of plans instead of ghosting you and leaving you to figure out that they won't be showing up. Show politeness and understanding in response, as this can keep the possibility of a future date open - assuming that's what you desire. Your date may even feel remorseful for canceling initially and be motivated to make it up to you.
4. If You Still Want To Go On Date With Them, Put It Out There
It's acceptable to want to try again if the first attempt didn't go as planned. You don't have to be pushy about it; a simple suggestion to reschedule for a better time shows your continued interest while leaving the decision to them. If they are interested, they will contact you to set a new date. Otherwise, you can move on confidently knowing you gave it a good shot.
5. Cool Off And Keep It Calm
It's common to react with anger and frustration when a date cancels plans. You may feel that you've put in a lot of effort preparing for the date, and question why they have the right to cancel. It's tempting to try and persuade them to change their mind and revive the date. However, it's important to take a step back and give yourself some time to process your emotions before responding. Reacting with passive-aggressive or emotionally charged language could harm your interests. You might end up saying things that you'll regret later.
6. Take Back The Power
Act like your time and presence are equally important as your date's. If they cancel plans and suggest another time, inform them that you have prior engagements but will try to make time for them. It's okay to play a little hard to get and let them know that you have an active life too. By doing so, you are subtly telling them that they need to get their act together if they want you to prioritize them.
7. Have A Three-strike Rule
Giving people a second chance is one thing, but allowing them to take advantage of you is another. If your date cancels plans once, consider giving them another chance. However, if they repeat the behavior, it may be a pattern. After three instances, it's best to cut things off and walk away. You deserve someone who respects you and is excited to spend time with you.
8. Let Them Have It
There are times when you need to express your feelings honestly. If your date has a habit of canceling plans and you've had enough, let them know how their actions make you feel and ask them to improve. A person who wants to make the relationship work will adjust their behavior once they understand your frustrations.
9. Don't Let It Get You Down
If your date cancels plans, you may feel inadequate or insufficient. However, it's important to remember that their flakiness has nothing to do with you. It's their missed opportunity, not yours. Instead of dwelling on their actions, focus on loving and taking care of yourself until you find a partner who values and respects you just as you are.
