Published in Sep 2020 / Updated in Aug 2021
Let's get one thing clear: A narcissist will settle for nothing less than total control in any relationship. So, what does a narcissist do when they can't control you? You guessed it: they fly into a narcissistic rage.
That's why today, we'll look at how to respond to narcissistic rage. The truth is that as long as there is a narcissist nearby, a full-blown narcissistic rage is always close by.
There is a world of difference between reacting and responding to narcissistic rage. A reaction is what this toxic individual aims for, but responding is what you should do to shut them down and stay in control.
For this reason, you should learn tips like what not to say to a narcissist when they become enraged.
There are even those who have learned to trigger a narcissistic rage and use the psychological upper hand; it gives them an advantage. But even as you do this, also learn how to protect yourself from narcissistic rage. If you are not careful, these incidences could be your emotional or psychological undoing.
So, it's not just about understanding this special kind of anger but mastering the skills necessary to work through it.
To a narcissist, everything is a game, and they believe in every situation, there can only be one winner. Unless you know how to shut down a narcissist after recognizing various signs of narcissistic rage, you might not have much luck overcoming the toxicity these people spread around.
Here's how to deal with narcissistic rage.
Don't Take The Bait
Narcissistic rage is usually intended to make you, the victim, get scared, and submit to their unfair demands. Most people easily take the bait to end the uncomfortable scenario, which is precisely what the narcissist wants.
So, don't agree to anything or start apologizing profusely and ask what you can do to make things better. The narcissistic episode will be a success if you do.
As much as it seems like you should focus on the person, put your needs first because a narcissist never will.
Don't Try To Show The Right And The Wrong Side Of The Situation
First of all, you will be wasting your time because narcissists have no sense of right and wrong. The concept they understand better is winning and losing, or better yet, strength and weakness.
The person flies into a rage to gain the upper hand and make you threatened and more likely to get under their thumb. If you deny them that, they will have no option but to accept that the strategy has failed.
Don't let the narcissistic rage make you seem threatened, and definitely don't try to reason with the raging maniac. You will lose that fight, and life will be more hellish for you.
Use The Word "We"
When a narcissist flies into a rage, they will want to put all the blame on you. For this reason, they can't stand knowing that you think they could have been in the wrong.
So, using the word “we”, such as “what are we doing?” Or “what will we tell people? will have them reconsider their reaction.
Although a narcissist wants to tarnish your name, they want more to keep their own clean. Making it seem like you would both look bad will make the narcissist calm down and reconsider their reaction.
Narcissists want attention more than any other individual you will ever meet. As far as they are concerned, the world revolves around them.
Even in a narcissistic rage, they expect your full attention through your reactions and responses. That is why completely ignoring the situation can be so effective.
You can simply tune out and let them realize that their petty overreactions will not fly. After all, there is no response or reaction that will be mutually helpful whenever a narcissist is involved. It's either you win, or they win; there is no middle ground.
Ignoring a narcissist is one of the most effective ways to make a narcissist miserable and force them to leave you alone. The silent treatment can be a perfect narcissistic rage cure.
Broadly speaking, narcissistic rage is how narcissists respond to the perceived offense. It is usually an unjustified reaction, and if you fall for the trick and react as they expected, you will lose.
Something as small as failing to give the person the attention they need can have them react explosively. It does not matter if the narcissist is your husband, mother, or friend.
To handle narcissistic rage, respond appropriately instead of just reacting, regardless of whether you are being confronted in person or through a text. You should still show empathy and understand that trying to reason with the narcissist won't work. And make sure the person knows the situation will make both of you look bad, not just you.