It's always a fine line between what makes us feel good and what makes us look good. Even more so, it's often hard to establish whether we are doing things for the right reasons. Are we wearing a short skirt because we feel sexy in it, or because we think we will look sexy for guys? It's tough to know, but I would wager that we don't need to spend too long analysing every decision that we make against a feminist/progressive agenda. Yes, we all want a better future and more equal standards of existence, but there are more productive ways of supporting that cause than just doing things that we think we 'should' be doing. The goal is empowerment, not to be constantly regulated as to what constitutes allowable 'sexuality' or 'gender performance'.
Therefore, I humbly escort your attention towards a saucy list of 14 hot tips to get guys' attention, not just based on looks! We always want to be loved for who we are, but also, we're always told the value of compromise and showing an effort in their interests. How, then, do we prevent ourselves from just constantly merging into our significant other? I do it all the time. When my new partner exhibits an interest in Sherlock, I'll suddenly feel this compulsion to binge the whole thing.
If they like running, I'll take up jogging too. Essentially, I'm a copycat
This occurs largely because I get emotionally attached and hold my partner up on a pillar where their opinion and personality represents the ideal, best form of humanity. Therefore, unconsciously I want to become them because I know how much I value and love them. As a result, it's important to use the list below as a means of maintaining your own identity and staying true to yourself. We want to be irresistible to men. We don't need to just mirror their personality!
1. Feel confident in your own skin! Confidence is basically gold dust in mating rituals. When you've got it, guys can sense that and you immediately stand out from the crowd. Know yourself and then you can present to the men around you exactly what they want. Hint: it's you.
2. Play hard to get – just a bit. If you're normally a very punctual (obsessive) replier, why not leave their message for an hour or two. Or leave them on read (if you have the nerve and want to see if they're going to try again). Don't do this outside the bounds of politeness. You are trying to court him, after all. But don't convey that you're always available for him. It's a fact universally acknowledged that guys want what they can't have. Such is the way of the world.
1. Practice a genuine smile – a dazzling array of pearly whites will go a long way to clinching the interest of a passing chap. It's tried and tested, just as Elle Woods swears by the Bend and Snap (patent pending), the value of a charming smile cannot be underestimated.
2. Change it up a bit! If you normally go for a full-face of make-up, why not try going barefaced the next time you see your guy? Or, equally, if you are happy just chilling without make-up normally, maybe try a dash of eyeshadow or lipstick. If the guys have to make an effort, so do you! If not, why not go rogue with accessories or some eye-catching jewellery. It will catch the light and get their attention that way!
Or, failing that, here are the hard hitting classics
1. Recommend a book that you think he'll like, or a film or TV show – this shows that you have not only common interests, but you are willing to engage with his worlds. Here, two worlds can meet and you can both become well-rounded individuals. You might also blow his mind by sharing the same tastes in Murder Mystery novels as he does.
2. Get his number early – maybe you feel like the guy should traditionally be the first person to make the move and get each other's numbers. Not so. It's 2019, guys! Why not be gutsy for a change and boldly request his number. While he gives his digits away, he may well pass along his heart too. Well, we can dream, I guess.
3. Communication! Yes, we do love a fun period of playing hard to get and decoding each other's messages, but there comes the point when you both deserve emotional maturity. This comes with time, but try to be clear early on about personal boundaries, expectations and what you want. Taking control and having conviction in yourself is impossible to ignore and you will find that your chap will be only too happy to oblige.