When love is new, disagreements and arguments are rare. The heart is still basking in the newfound feelings and emotions. Conflicting opinions pose no serious risk to the peace and joy enjoyed by both partners.
As time goes on, you become more familiar with each other. Flaws that were once not important will gradually become more prominent. At this point, conflicting opinions are more likely to result in disagreements and arguments.
The question bothering many couples is: is it normal to argue in a relationship. Do not be misled. The answer is YES! An expert suggests that the arguments are proof that a relationship is healthy. Why is that?
Let's consider some reasons why having arguments once in a while in a relationship is inevitable.
Nobody Is Perfect
No single person alive today can boast of perfection. With imperfection comes the tendency to make mistakes from time to time. We all forget things, we all offend others, and we all say things we don't really mean.
As you get to know your partner, these unavoidable traits will start becoming noticeable. And it can make for some disagreements and arguments even with the most compatible couples.
Difference In Backgrounds
We were all raised in different ways and different places. Where and how we were raised plays a vital role in how we view life.
Since we have different backgrounds, it is only natural that two people may view the same issue differently.
Because of this, a couple might have different views on money, parenting, caring for relatives, and recreation. When opinions on each of these issues clash, even the best of couples tend to disagree and argue.
Before entering into a relationship, we all have this mental picture of what we expect from a partner. We think of the qualities we would like, the way they should behave, talk, care about us, and so on. In most cases, these expectations are based on mere fantasies and not realities.
On starting the relationship, it may surprise them that all the things they expected, the perfect relationship is never going to happen.
When their partners fall short of these unrealistic expectations, there is a higher chance of occasional disagreements and arguments.
Everyone living is faced with an uphill battle of keeping up with the high demand for their jobs. Keeping up can limit the amount of time couples can spend together.
When couples spend their days apart, if care is not taken, it can create an emotional distance between them. Frustration over this can take its toll on a relationship.
As we have seen, arguments in a relationship are normal. They only become a problem when they happen too frequently. It can easily replace the peace of mind enjoyed with sadness and depression.
How can you reduce the frequency of arguments in your relationship? You can minimize the frequent arguments by following these 5 simple steps.
Have Realistic Expectations
While it is true that no one can boast of being perfect, we sometimes point fingers at our partner's flaws. It is all too easy to say 'she never does this' or 'he always does that'.
Repeatedly hammering on your partner's flaws can cause serious and frequent arguments in your relationship. It is also an indication that there is a serious problem.
It may be that you are expecting too much from your partner. Remembering that your partner is imperfect will help you leave some allowance for human errors.
Think of it this way: will you spank a toddler who is just taking his first few steps for falling? Of course not! You will pick him up, applaud him, and even encourage him to try some more.
The next time your partner does something you don't like, don't argue. Remember the principle of the toddler.
If you dwell less on the mistake they make, you just might be encouraging them to be better. You help them improve while reducing arguments in your relationship.
Listening To Understand
When your partner is talking, you can either choose to listen or not. It has been observed that many people only listen to reply and never listening to understand.
When your partner is pouring out his or her feelings, endeavor to understand what they are trying to pass across. This can save you from arguing unnecessarily.
When listening, observe their facial expression, their countenance, and their tone of voice. When you are concerned with understanding their feelings, they will be happier that you cared more about them.
Spend More Time Together
One of the leading causes of arguments is the emotional distance between couples. The more time they spend apart because of work or other activities, the farther apart they grow. They have little or no time to be with each other and understand themselves better. When they get frustrated as a result of this, flimsy issues start causing unnecessary issues.
You can start by planning fun activities for the weekend. Make sure they are activities that you both will enjoy. As you spend time together, you will be amazed at how much you will get to know your partner more. You will understand each other better and strengthen the bond between you two.
Stop Insisting On Having Everything Done Your Way
When you always want things done your way, you step on the preferences of your partner. The more this happens, the more they feel their opinion does not matter. As they feel overlooked, their self-confidence reduces.
Commend Your Partner More
When you praise your partner for the little they do for you, it will only motivate them to do more. The opposite is true when we always point out their flaws; they feel down and not appreciated. Be smart, do what makes them happy, and watch how this will reduce how much you argue at home.
Don't let unnecessary arguments destroy your relationship. Follow these simple steps and minimize frequent arguments in your relationship.