Okay, small confession time lads: I love romcoms. I'm an absolute sucker for a grin-busting, heart-swelling feel-good film, and I don't pretend otherwise. I used to think they were my guilty pleasures, but it turns out that's just my taste in entertainment.
I mean, I love the tasteful, well-written period dramas as much as the next person, and a good thriller will always round off an evening nicely. But shove me in front of a screen with some early 2000s Reese Witherspoon or Matthew McConaughey and I will literally not move from that spot until the jaunty synth-pop end credits tape rolls. Facts.
This lifestyle has allowed me to accrue a rather comprehensive backlog of all the feasible and unfeasible ways that a woman can make a man chase her. I thought I'd share a few, and spoiler alert, I don't watch romances with anything less than a happy ending (sue me, teenage edge-lords) so these are thus 100% full-proof* methods of getting your man around your finger.
*it's absolutely not, lol
1. Know yourself
You're great and super and interesting and talented and athletic and compassionate and open and loving. As with all relationships, it's important to know yourself and go in swinging, and know yourself well enough that you can declare what you want or expect out of a relationship and what personal boundaries are right for you. This will help you gain confidence and conviction that you yourself are valuable and valid, which will shine through for the people around you to see, and in turn, desire.
2. Love yourself
Whether you're thinking of the classic Bieber song or simply down for the validation, it's an important message. One of the people in the relationship is you, after all - make sure you love and respect yourself like you do your prospective partner.
3. Change up your clothes and style
Why not throw it straight back to the naughties with a pair of flared jeans and neon bangles - the chap won't know what's hit him, but he'll certainly follow the light of the bracelet anywhere you go!
4. Try out a new haircut
An intriguing chopped fringe or shaved sides, or anything rogue that tickles your fancy? Be unpredictable and hard to pin down, your man will go mad trying to figure you out (and what decade you belong to!)
5. Play hard to get like it's the 80s
Bat your eyes and twirl your hair all you like to get him noticing you but to truly get him hooked you have to make sure you can dangle the bait in front of him and check that he'll jump
6. Accidentally get amnesia
(It happens to the best of us) and have him fall in love with you again for the kicks, just to mix things up (yes, I'm looking at you, The Vow, for being unnecessarily heartbreaking)
7. Turn up in his hometown
Show you care about his roots and connections, Sweet Home Alabama style and accidentally fall in love with him
8. Share in his hobbies
At least make an effort to be impressed with his FIFA skills and prowess at Sunday morning football. He will love to show you off to his mates, but why not arrive late or leave (slightly) early just to keep him on his toes. Or is that one a little mean? I'll let you adjudicate.
9. Teach him some of your own hobbies
Impress him with your many talents and ensure that he knows you're a modern-day Wonder woman because you are. Plus, it's an excuse to whip out your old crafts tin or get baking for the first time in ages.
10. Insist that you go on a run together, or yoga, or tennis
You can see each other in sportswear and also gauge just how competitively you can fight for the best yoga mat (these sort of facts set you for life)
11. Spend lots of time together - like, duh
This one's less Homer, more Homer Simpson, but sometimes it needs to be said. You need to spend time together in a range of different environments and scenarios; two cinema dates when you didn't need to talk to each other DOESN'T COUNT, KATE!
12. Spend time apart
Don't be afraid to leave him on read for an hour or two (within the bounds of politeness) or just don't respond immediately all the time and give each other space and time to realize you actually miss one another. Of course, don't ignore each other indefinitely; the goal remains to have a conversation - not having a relationship based on sending one sentence every 2 hours!
13. Play to one of his fantasies ... casually
The poor guy once let slip a few of the salacious details that really got him going and you couldn't stop laughing at the time. When you fancy it, however, feel free to surprise him with an homage to one of them just while you're out - it'll drive him crazy. For example, this can range from wearing his football shirt to bed all the way up to wearing your hair up in the Carrie Fisher cinnamon buns (and wearing very little else), depending on his niche and your willingness to go rogue.
Gosh, don't we all love a good wink? It's the perfect blend between playfully affectionate and saucily intimate and can be used both in public and in the bedroom. Pairs wonderfully with a raised eyebrow a few beers on a summer day.
15. Mutual respect!
The most maddeningly attractive thing in a man or woman is respect. That we respect ourselves and each other. This demonstrates both maturity, compassion, and a willingness to commit to one another, and comes hand in hand with strong communication skills.
For this article, intense and strenuous research was conducted from my sofa re-watching The Princess Diaries and Miss Congeniality, where it helps in both situations to either already have a Nice Guy secretly pining for you, and/or to be some form of internationally renown spy or monarch.