How To Love Someone Without Smothering Them

Experiencing the feeling of falling in love can be highly addictive. The sheer act of conversing, kissing, or simply being in the presence of one's partner can elicit intense pleasure, and this feeling becomes something that one desires to experience repeatedly. However, it is important to acknowledge that this intense emotion can sometimes lead us to go overboard and inadvertently irritate our partners or come across as overly needy or clingy.

1. Give them room to breathe

It's important to avoid spending every waking moment with your partner, as that level of dependence can be unhealthy. Insisting on constant attention from your partner can eventually lead to resentment. It's important to be respectful and give your partner space when they need it, and to encourage them to have interests and activities outside of the relationship. By pursuing your own passions, you can both find greater happiness in the relationship.

2. Don't push too hard when met with a little resistance

It's important to be mindful of your partner's feelings and avoid suffocating them by pushing them into uncomfortable situations. Insisting on things they're not ready for can lead to trouble. Take your time in getting to know your partner and learning how they like to be loved, rather than rushing things.

3. Do your own thing and let them do theirs without you

Giving your partner room or freedom doesn't mean they'll leave you. If their love for you is genuine, time apart won't harm it. Remember that you are two independent individuals, and being in a relationship shouldn't change that. Embrace the opportunity to live your lives separately and come back together with new experiences to share. It can even improve your relationship.

4. Openly discuss any issues you might have

Having fears and doubts in a relationship is normal, but it's important not to let them control you. Overwhelming your partner with affection won't solve the underlying issues. Instead, have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your concerns. This will strengthen your faith and trust in each other. Honest communication is one of the most essential ingredients of a healthy relationship.

5. Give them attention and affection but don't bombard them with it

During my past relationship, my partner would call me up to 20 times a day and send me multiple lengthy texts in quick succession. I felt like I was being constantly reminded of how much they missed and needed me, and it was exhausting. Eventually, I started to pull away, and by the time I was ready to come back, there was nothing left.

6. Make sure what you're feeling is love, not emotional hunger

At times, we may believe our actions are driven by love, but in reality, they stem from a desire to fulfill our selfish desires. Consider how often you say "I love you" to share affection versus how often you say it to hear it in return. If your show of love is consistently driven by a need for validation, it may be emotional hunger. Recognizing the root of your emotions can help you avoid suffocating your partner.

7. Don't go demanding apologies

It's important to hold a partner accountable for their actions and not tolerate someone who never acknowledges their wrongs or apologizes when they've hurt you. However, it's also important to give them space to process and apologize on their own time. Constantly demanding apologies can be perceived as antagonistic, controlling, and needy.

8. Respect their needs

It can be difficult to accept that the person you love may not need you all the time or may not be ready for things at the same pace as you. If they want to take things slow, it's important not to push or rush them. Respecting their decisions and desires is crucial, and they will appreciate it.

9. Focus on being romantic, not obsessive

When you feel the urge to send multiple desperate texts like "Why are you ignoring me," "I miss you," or "Where are you," it's best to resist the temptation. Rather than giving in to neediness, find more romantic ways to show your partner that they're on your mind. Plan a special and intimate date where you can enjoy each other's company and connect in a meaningful way. Doing something nice for them can also be a great way to show your affection.