How To Lock Down A Noncommittal Guy (Yes, It Is Possible)

Is your partner hesitant to discuss the next step in your relationship? Perhaps he gets nervous or avoids the topic altogether. Don't worry, fear of commitment is a common issue for many men. The challenge lies in figuring out how to move forward with your relationship if you're convinced he's the one for you.

The first step is to evaluate whether your partner is worth the effort. If he is, changing his stance on commitment will require some effort from both of you. In many cases, the reluctance to commit is not about settling down with you but rather, there may be underlying issues that make him hesitant. Patience and perseverance can help you both reach a place where he genuinely wants to commit to you.


1. Show Him He Has Competition

Some men assume they don't need to commit because they believe you already belong to them. While it's not advisable to cheat, harmless flirting with a waiter or laughing at his friends' jokes could make him see you in a different light. Demonstrating that other guys find you attractive can make him realize he could lose you if he doesn't commit.


2. Make Less Time For Him

Your partner knows you're always available, but he still can't commit to you. Create some distance and make him miss you. Don't drop everything and rush to him when he calls. Delay responding to his texts and make plans without him sometimes. This could help him realize how much you mean to him and encourage him to commit.

3. Ask Him Why He's Not Ready To Commit

Ensure that you ask the question without conveying any attitude. Emphasize that you are not looking for a wrong answer, but just trying to understand if there is any issue on your end or if something else is causing the problem. You might discover that the cause of his hesitation to commit could be related to his ex, parents, or fear of not meeting your expectations.


4. Offer To Take Things Slow

Putting pressure on him continuously to commit more will not help the situation. Let him know that you are content to take things slow, but you need him to communicate his side of things to you. If he is remaining faithful and actively working on resolving any issues, you will take things slower because you value him and the relationship. This action will demonstrate to him that you are committed to the relationship in the long run.


5. Give Him Your Best

Have you considered whether you've given him a reason to commit to you? Evaluate how you treat him and your behavior around him. If you want him to even consider committing, it's important to give him your best. You don't need to be flawless, but demonstrate that you're supportive and capable of being a good life partner.

6. Get Involved In His Life

Although it appears to contradict the advice to "make less time for him," if he is always available to you, the problem could be with you. Do you take a genuine interest in his hobbies, work, or friends? A man is searching for not just a wife but also a friend. Try to participate more actively in his daily activities, and you may discover his true fears along the way.


7. Don't Make Your Relationship All About Sex

Although it's exciting that the two of you can't resist each other, if your connection is primarily physical without much communication or shared activities, your partner may view you as a casual hookup rather than a girlfriend. He might even believe that you're using him only for sex. It's crucial to demonstrate that there's more to the relationship than just sex.


8. Don't Scare Him Away Immediately

It's possible that you knew he was the one from the moment you met, but guys typically require more time to determine their feelings. If you discuss marriage after the second date, he'll likely switch into a non-committal mode as a defense mechanism. It's best to wait until you've both had a chance to become more familiar with each other before broaching the subject of the future.


9. Make Him Earn You

Women often try everything to please their partner in the hopes of obtaining a commitment. It's admirable to treat him well and give him your all, but it's not acceptable to allow him to take advantage of you. Make him work for your affection. If he can't treat you with respect, decline to go out with him. Men enjoy a challenge, and if he values you, he'll seek to understand how to alter his behavior to earn your respect.


10. Don't Just Give In To Keep Him

Have you ever encountered a situation where a guy says, "I'll think about committing if you do this?" Unfortunately, some men enjoy leading women on without any intention of committing. Don't give in to him just to keep him around. Stand firm and don't settle for a friends-with-benefits relationship.

11. Show Him He's Not Losing Anything

Men, like women, might be hesitant to commit because they fear losing their independence. When they hear the word "marriage," they envision themselves driving a minivan full of little girls in dance costumes and sleeping under a floral comforter. Help him see that he can still maintain his independence and have fun with his friends even after committing.


12. Be His Best Friend

Want to persuade him to commit? Try being his best friend instead of pressuring him to be your boyfriend or future husband. Engage in meaningful conversations, and spend quality time doing enjoyable activities together. This will help him realize that he wants to be with you every day.

While there are no guarantees that every man will change his mind about commitment, a real man who cares about you will eventually show signs of commitment. If you don't see any progress or signs of commitment, it's best to accept that he may not be mature enough to commit yet.