It’s never about ending something, it’s about learning how to let go of someone. So, brace yourself for emotional yet helpful tips that will bring you back home to yourself.
You’re never fully yours, or truly out of a relationship until you learn the painful art of letting go, despite feeling all the fuzzy, loving emotions. It’s a process, training for your strength, and the ultimate expression of self-love.
The tricky part is that no matter how better you thought you knew, quitting certain people often seems impossible. And it definitely doesn’t matter who left who, or whether you’re letting go of someone because they never knew how to love you.
Let’s start healing, learning how to let go of someone who’s still on your mind.
Step 1: Delete, block, ignore…
The first step seems petty. But, it would be best to cut all ties and get back to your life before that relationship before you even met that person.
If you think you should, it will help to get some time off from social media as well. Instead of deleting photos or love quotes, merely dedicate your time to making yourself happy.
You need to remove them out of your life because the temptation is too great. And of course, when you block someone, they can’t get in touch with you, so it will save from sleepless nights and wondering, “why isn’t he/she calling?”
Basically, the first step in how to let go of someone is to remove their existence from your phone. It’s a small step, but it takes lots of courage to merely delete someone from your life.
Step 2: Stop making up stories
Right now, you’re stuck in your head, creating all these perfect scenarios, playing the “what if” games. Eventually, you start idealizing your relationships and having imaginary conversations that would somehow fix everything.
Whatever happened, it’s in the past. You won’t change a thing, and there are reasons why we need to know how to let go of someone. It’s not like you woke up and decided to torture yourself.
While you can’t stop overthinking mind, whenever you start creating these little movies, go back to breathing. Be present, here and now. Reality could be harsh at the moment, but you’re right where you’re supposed to be.
Step 3: Grieving as a way to learn how to let go of someone
Everyone around you is alive and well, yet everything dark and gloomy. Relationships are very much alive because people make them. So, you need time to grief, as if you lost someone dear.
Mourning a relationship feels a lot like losing a person. You will go through bargaining and depression, as well as denial until you get to acceptance.
Take all the time you need, because it’s a process. But don’t forget to live your life in the meantime. Even if it means going to work, having Sunday brunches with your friends, and doing nothing more in between.
Don’t try to act normal; instead, try to do more to cheer yourself up.
Step 4: Keep your friends closer than ever
You need your friends to comfort you while you’re figuring out how to let go of someone.
More importantly, it would be best if you had a sense of hope and some normalcy in your life. That’s why you shouldn’t merely cry over your relationship, but listen to what you pals have to say about their lives.
Don’t allow yourself to be a victim. Instead, put your grown-up pants on and try to listen to others and help them figure out our stuff.
You might think that you’re the saddest person on the planet at the moment. You’re not, so try to be a bit more realistic.
Step 5: Take care of yourself while learning how to let go of someone
When was the last time you read a book or had an afternoon for some TLC? Yes, it’s a little comfort, but it beats all the crying or beating yourself repeatedly.
Now, more than ever, you need structure in your life. So, when you come back from work or school, make yourself some food, then exercise, call your friends or family members.
Later, you can read, write, or go to your favorite pub. Even online shopping is a better activity than overthinking.
There’s always something to do around the house, so keep your hands busy, and your mind will quiet down.
Step 6: Forgive yourself, and be grateful you got this far
You don’t have to turn your life upside down to know what to do while learning how to let go of someone. And you can’t always run away from your thoughts and memories, so start dealing with them.
When you recall a certain moment, try to show gratitude that you were loved and you loved. Mean it, feel it in your heart.
At the same time, forgive yourself for all the mistakes, and forgive your ex for everything they did wrong. You can’t jump into this step before you start practicing self-love on other levels.
Before you start being grateful for the past, you need to take care of yourself now. No one can tell you if this process will last 10 or 100 days, but sometimes you need an extra push to let go and remember all that you have in the now.
Step 7: Live in the present, but get excited about the future
Let’s leave your love life aside. What other things can you improve to have a better life? Where do you want to travel, which concert do you want to see?
Start making plans, small, yet genuinely significant. Because life goes on, and you don’t need to waste any more time. And what’s more important, you don’t have to.
So, how to let go of someone? Start living, reset your life, and be glad for everything that happened. It made you this awesome, experienced, strong person that you are today.
Face your fears and your memories. If you need to cry, it’s fine. Whatever you feel now is okay, as long as you know that everything temporary, and you’ll be back to your feet in no time.
And if at any time you feel that this emotional rollercoaster is too much for you, ask for help. Talk to your parents, as well as to a therapist.
By learning how not to get lost in someone, you’ll get more closer to your authentic self. And the more you love yourself, the easier it will be to mend a broken heart.
Because let’s face it, you can’t have love without some pain. The solution isn’t to stop loving, but to make yourself more resilient, and to always remember that in learning how to let go of someone you’re getting to know more about the most important person in the world. You!