How To Learn From And Value Heartbreak

Sometimes it can be easy to get frustrated with love and the messy business of being vulnerable. Being willing to give yourself away yet feeling empty. 

Yeah, I’ve been there. 

We all remember the nineties classic ‘Sleepless in Seattle’? Well, how about ‘Loveless in Lockdown’; maybe ‘Heartbreak at Home’.

Emotional pain sells in Hollywood. 

Recognise the red flags

How To Learn From And Value Heartbreak

We can’t all have neat love triangles that are resolved by the end of a two-hour romcom. 

Instead, we all experience complex, interweaving self-defeating dodecahedrons of angst. Everyone loves someone else, and you have to learn from heartbreak. 

How to negotiate a broken heart and take care of yourself: ignore the person responsible. Value yourself independently!

When your life starts to sound like ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream,’ it’s time to take a step back. The worst part is that we always think we’re immune, and suddenly we’re heartbroken! 

But, one minute you have a mindless crush, and the next, you’re reading everything into all their small gestures.

You’re soon trying to collect enough covert information to assess whether they could possibly like you back.

That period of excruciating emotional confusion eventually gets to an irrational point where you’re so deep in trouble that you’re getting jealous over someone who isn’t yours to start with. 

You want to be close to this person

How To Learn From And Value Heartbreak

But, you always find yourself failing at the last hurdle of intimacy—your breaking heart.

At the time, you are ignorant of the fact that other people treat you much better. But these are emotional hurdles that everyone goes through; you aren’t alone. 

Sometimes you need to fall in love with a few dead-ends to get to grips with real emotional maturity. To realize what you demand out of a relationship. 

Often we go straight to heartbreak: so listen to this relationship advice. Find the silver linings and learn the art of saying ‘stop.’ 

So, while your outgoing self might value physical affection and big gestures, the more reserved object of your affection may be stoically returning your love, but you miss it. 

Truthfully, we are all stuck inside our own heads

Also, we think that everyone and their mother are watching you fall in love; the person themselves will never see it until it smacks them in the face. 

All this to say, who knows what the other person is feeling? Sometimes someone has to take a leap, and that’s where we risk heartbreak … 

Unrequited love has a habit of making you feel the sort of a shame that makes you think you will always be alone. Spend time with yourself, living your life.

Move forward

How To Learn From And Value Heartbreak

Heartbreak manages to poison how you think love works, but love is not a question: it’s about trust. It will never be effortless, but you will know when you are in love. 

Once you accept yourself as a human being, interesting and talented enough to deserve love and attention, you begin to attract the right sort of people. 

Never settle. To quote the immortal words of The Perks of Being a Wallflower: ‘you accept the love you think you deserve.’

Sometimes we sabotage ourselves by falling in love with unattainable people or mistake platonic intimacy for something else. 

Also, good friends will always be there for you through thick and thin. Use them to work through your heartbreak, acknowledging, and learning from it. 

There’s no rush 

It’s completely normal to feel like you’re missing out on something. The best way to overcome heartache is to first accept your own feelings in these strange times. Accept yourself, and mean it. 

Furthermore, you are hurting because it’s real. After all, you are a human being that is capable of feeling great things. You don’t need to convert your angst into something productive or neat immediately.

Sometimes we don’t need solutions for a healthy relationship. We just need to sit with it.

You may wonder where all your love goes to if they don’t want it. 

Just keep it for yourself, and grow, my friends. Keep it all.