How To Keep Yourself From Messaging Someone You Know You Should Not


With the prevalence of screens in our lives, it can feel nearly impossible to resist the urge to text an ex or someone who's not good for us. If you're struggling to resist the temptation, don't despair. There are ways to help you overcome the urge to reach out, even when it's tough.

1. Remember The Bad Times, Not Only The Good

Before you hit send on a message to someone you shouldn't be talking to, take a step back and look at the bigger picture. While it may be tempting to reminisce about good times, it's important to consider the bad as well. Did this person mistreat you or bring negativity into your life? Keep in mind what led to the breakup or the end of the friendship. Next time you feel like reaching out, ask yourself these questions.

2. Find An Accountability Buddy

Having a friend who understands what you're going through can be invaluable when you're struggling to maintain no contact. Choose someone who knows why this person isn't good for you and can offer encouragement when needed. Messaging your friend can provide a helpful distraction while also keeping you accountable to your commitment to stay away from the person in question.

3. Block And Delete

Removing all avenues of communication is a critical strategy to refrain from texting someone. This involves blocking them on social media, deleting contact information, and erasing previous messages and emails from your phone.

4. Ditch Your Devices

Although the urge to send a message can be powerful, it's usually brief, lasting an average of just 15 minutes. During this time, keep your phone and other devices out of sight until the impulse to message has mostly passed. You may leave your phone at home when going for a run or head to a café with a book while your phone remains securely tucked away in your car.

5. Pinpoint What You Hope To Gain

Let's face it, you may feel like something is missing from your life unless you send that message. Whether it's seeking closure after a breakup or wanting to give them another chance, despite knowing it's not a good idea. Identify what you hope to gain from talking to them, and then find ways to provide it to yourself through healthy relationships with other people in your life.

6. Join A Dating App

In case you find it challenging to resist the urge of messaging someone you're still interested in, consider registering on a dating app. Keep in mind that a rebound relationship might not help you feel better. However, browsing through other potential matches can help you distract yourself from constantly thinking about the person you miss. It's essential to note that this approach may not be effective for everyone, and if swiping through matches only makes you feel worse, it's best to skip this tip altogether.

7. Write A Message But Don't Hit "Send"

If you have something that's bothering you and you need to let it out, write it down in a notebook or on a memo on your phone. Avoid sending it as a message to the person who's on your mind. Expressing your thoughts and feelings about the situation without directly involving the other person can help you process your emotions better.

8. Limit Conversation Starters

If the person you miss was toxic, and you still feel the urge to keep in touch with them, it's best to stay away from things or people that might encourage you to message them. Limit the amount of time you spend with mutual friends or stay away from common hangout spots. This way, you'll be less tempted to start a conversation by sending messages such as, "Did I see you last night?" or "Becky mentioned you the other day."

9. Form Healthy Habits

When you've formed a habit of texting someone, it can be challenging to cut them out of your life. This is particularly true if you were in a serious relationship with them or they were a close friend or family member. However, creating a new, healthier habit can help break the pattern. Use your free time to engage in physical exercise or a relaxing pastime. Try cooking nutritious meals or indulging in luxurious baths. Adopting positive habits can help you move on and forget about sending them messages.

10. Remind Yourself That It'll Get Better

Ending contact with someone you once had a relationship with can be tough, and it's especially hard to resist the urge to text them. However, the desire to communicate with them will eventually fade away. Although it may be difficult now, things will improve with time. Be kind to yourself and accept the challenging emotions you're experiencing. At the same time, recognize that texting them will only prolong the healing process. Stay strong and remember that it will become easier with time.