When you've been single for a long time, one question that always looms is whether or not to settle for someone. On one hand, you don't want to end up with someone who doesn't excite you, but on the other hand, you're tired of being alone. It's a tough decision to make. However, don't give up on finding true love just yet. Here's how to maintain high standards while still searching for a boyfriend.
1. Think About The Big Picture
It might be tempting to turn your next first date into a relationship. After all, it would save you the hassle of dating around and it might feel exciting at first. However, if you don't actually like the person, it won't matter how easy it was to start dating them. Think long-term and consider the type of person you see yourself with. It's not easy, but it will be worth it in the end.
2. Never Force Anything
In the past, you may have settled without realizing it until later on. Don't let the fact that you've been single for a while make you desperate for any kind of companionship. If you go on a second date with someone, make sure you genuinely like them and see a potential future together. If something doesn't feel right, don't ignore your instincts.
3. Remember The Settling Horror Stories
Some of your friends might have settled for relationships that aren't right for them. They stay together out of convenience or habit, even though they're not truly happy. Don't let yourself fall into the same trap. Remember this when you're feeling discouraged after a string of first dates.
4. Cancel Your Pity Party
Feeling sorry for yourself won't help you find a partner. It will only make you feel worse, and your friends will grow tired of your negativity. Remind yourself that every woman who's ever fallen in love has been in your shoes. You're not alone in struggling to find the right person, so don't act like you are.
5. Tell Yourself That Quitting Would Be Worse Than Hanging In There
After a bad date, it's natural to question whether it's worth it to keep looking for love or if you should just give up and be single forever. But giving up would be much worse than persevering. You'd always wonder if you made the right choice and if things could have turned out differently. Don't let the fear of the unknown hold you back.
6. Keep Your Sense Of Pride
Perhaps you're a fiercely independent and self-assured woman who doesn't want a man to compromise those qualities. If you lower your standards, you might feel embarrassed and not even recognize yourself anymore. Obviously, that's not what you want.
7. Stop Trying To Control Your Love Life
It's much easier to talk about than to put into action. As a girl boss, you're used to being in charge and achieving your goals. While that's excellent for your career, it might not be so helpful for your love life. Stop trying to manage everything and let fate take the reins. If that means allowing more men to approach you and take the lead, then so be it.
8. Actually Date By Your Dealbreakers
Wanting a man with a career, work ethic, apartment, maturity, interests, and a sense of humor is perfectly reasonable. You might be inclined to keep an open mind and take chances, but your dealbreakers serve an essential purpose.
9. Don't Give People The Benefit Of The Doubt
It's not unreasonable to have reservations about men who are unemployed or overly focused on their work. Your past experiences can provide valuable insight, and you're not being unreasonable if you've had one too many bad experiences.
10. Tell Yourself That Being Single Is Better Than Being Miserable And Coupled Up
This should be your mantra as a single woman. Whenever you need a pick-me-up, remember this. It may be difficult to believe, but it's entirely accurate.
11. Let The Guys Do Some Of The Work
Yes, it's true that women can make the first move in this day and age. However, if you're always initiating contact after a first date, it might be time to change things up. Once you relinquish control, you'll realize that if a man wants to see you again, he'll make the effort to reach out. Surrender some power, and you just might discover love.