Do you know how much work it takes to keep a guy? Are you afraid some witch with a B will come and take him away from you?
Clearly, if your biggest concern is how to keep a guy, we need to have a little chat. You can’t lose something that was never yours. And if your guy doesn’t want to stay, there’s nothing you can do then accept it.
And by the way, your way of thinking is not something you should be ashamed of. We are all progressive feminists until we meet our not so charming prince. Then, it’s every woman for herself.
Is there a shortage of males on this planet? Not really. What’s the deal with pretending that you need to be saved and that your fairy prince will make everything better?
Let’s check out a recent history, go through neat and always polished homemakers, and get to the real issue.
Those darn 50s housewives
They cooked, cleaned, and looked impeccable. The 50s housewives really didn’t do us all a favor by creating a stereotype each man secretly desires.
But what about us? They didn’t have jobs, nor they knew that there’s more to life than being a good wife and a mother. Now that we got some insight, how the heck are we suppose to deal with careers, babies, and men, who are frequently more demanding than actual toddlers.
The whole concept of “keeping your man” is nothing more than a reaction to world wars. See, there was a shortage of males, and at the time, it wasn’t acceptable for women to work or have better education, and whatnot.
But, both WWI and WWII are over, so why can’t we overcome these unhealthy thinking patterns? Should we blame men entirely?
No, they were raised in that environment, and our job is to teach them that the right partner isn’t a pleaser.
An ideal match is someone who’ll make you laugh, challenge you, and pick you up when you’re down. Not merely to cook, clean, and breed.
Do you genuinely want to keep your man
Wait a minute. Before we offer some useful advice, let’s see do you want your man, or you got trapped into that whole old maid story.
Men who don’t make babies and don’t marry are bachelors. Women are desperate. And let’s not pretend that there’s some massive change in the air. That change is alive and well only on social media.
So, the trick to keeping a man is to know your worth and demand that he knows it as well.
Do you hate ironing? Tell him, and let him do his part of the chorus. If he doesn’t see you as anything else than a baby-maker or his sugar mama or cleaning lady, then sorry, girl. You should find yourself someone else. Or get a cat.
Keeping a man is a choice, and the sooner you realize that other women aren’t out to get your guy, the better because nothing screams desperation as jealousy and not knowing your place in the world.
Apart from breeding, every person needs someone to love. But it’s not enough: respect, honesty are just pieces of the puzzle.
The genuine relationship is about boundaries, interests, financial freedom, as well as complementing each other.
What does he do to keep you
Instead of asking “how to keep my man,” ask yourself what he does to keep you.
Is he kind, reasonable, protective, yet possessive? Does he want you to be the best version of yourself? Is he your rock, even when the world’s falling apart?
The society’s always asking you to please your man, but it’s a two-way street. And since we are still covered in toxic patriarchy, we need to open new chapters, to have more fulfilling and more meaningful relationships with guys.
There’s no reason to excuse the typical guy behavior and say, “boys will be boys.” Is he checking out other women? Flirting a bit too much? Maybe he’s jealous that you got a promotion?
If and when he displays his toxic masculinity, he has two choices. First is to listen to what you have to say and change his ways or to keep walking. Eventually, that dude will find himself a 50’s housewife, but you’ll be free to get a new and improved man.
Love’s easy, relationships not so much
Relationships are like building a house. And love’s just the idea that you want and need that place.
To know how to keep a worthy man, you have to make a lot of adjustments to your expectations and learn to compromise.
No, it’s not fair, nor you want to deal with his upbringing, but we got this far, and we’re not going to stop now.
We’re learning from each other, listening and accepting that whole male-female dynamics are all wrong, yet we can’t leave it like that.
And let’s get one thing out there: the relationship is built, and it’s hard work. However, it’s not supposed to hurt or feel like you’re pushing an elephant up the stairs.
So how to keep your guy? Be yourself and let him do his best to keep you.
There’s no hidden agenda. You need to build a partnership, and that cannot happen if both parties aren’t invested.
That’s the real-life fairytale, your happy ending, and happily ever after. And don’t worry, even if everything goes according to plan, you’ll end up alone, with cats. Because we live longer. Sorry, guys!