Sex is a very important part of human life, and anyone who tells you otherwise is probably lying. Of course, there's the part that they might not know or that they are pretending not to.
Times have changed a lot from how it was in the past. Now sex is talked about more openly and freely too, but growing up and living in Nigeria isn't always the case.
Most of us don't get the sex talk from our parents till we have our own kids and never give it to them either. Due to this, many of us think of sex as taboo, and because we don't know enough about it, we don't achieve the most from it.
How to improve your sex life as a lady
Female sexuality has always been known as Men sexuality lite. It's good but not good enough but are they wrong? Absolutely. You matter too, and that's why you need to know ways actually to enjoy sex.
Know what you want from your sex life
Some women don't know what they want from sex, which is a huge reason why most do not participate enough. Do you want to be kissed on your neck? Stroked on the inside of your thighs? Spanked on your butt? You need to know what you want. But the real question is, how?
Many women find out what they enjoy from masturbating and others from trials with a partner. Both are just fine. You're giving your body a chance to know how to respond to specific touches. Certain words and feelings.
If you do not know what you want from sex, you might never get it. That could be affecting your sex life more than you know.
Tell your partner what you want
If you're going to be having sex, you might as well get a pretty awesome one. The one you want, the one your body craves, and nothing less. Telling your partner, "I would like it better if you kissed me here instead," is never wrong. I've realized many men do not want to go down on their women because they feel it's gross.
Even more surprising, I've heard ladies say, "it's so irritating. How can he lick me down there?" with a look of uncertain disgust on their faces. I usually ask them, "have you tried it before?" And then you realize they haven't. It had been projected on them beforehand how gross it's supposed to be.
It has been estimated that over 70% of women do not achieve orgasm from penetrative sex. Oral sex and clitoris stimulation is your next best option. Many women end up faking orgasms because men do not acknowledge this. This is why many men move about with their shoulders high because you keep faking an orgasm. That brings us to the next point.
Do not fake an orgasm
Do you know what happens when you fake an orgasm? You continue. It becomes your default setting. Sex becomes a chore to you and you already have a programmed response. This takes away all of the fun in it for you, but not for your partner.
For all they know, they've killed it, and you can't wait for more. Faking orgasms is a terrible coping mechanism women have formed to get out of embarrassing conversations.
The next time you're having sex and not feeling it, don't let out that fake moan. It's not worth it and never will be. If it hurts his ego; that's where communication comes in. And don't forget the option of taking control.
Manage Your Anxiety
Anxiety can crush your libido. You know you want something but society says it's wrong for you to voice it out. It could also be anxiety from other areas of your life and not just sex. This is where taking care of yourself comes in. Eat healthily, work out as much as you can, groom yourself, maintain a work-life balance, etc.
If your anxiety keeps acting up during sex or before, you might want to consider sex therapy or talking to your partner.
Focus on Foreplay
Focusing on foreplay can also help you with your anxiety. Don't just pull off your clothes and jump on the bed. You're not a wild beast.
Kiss, caress, whisper words of seduction, make your body anticipate what it yearns is to come. You will find out you're more relaxed and you can achieve orgasms better. Foreplay brings together all the previously mentioned ways to improve your sex life.
Let your partner focus on your erogenous zones which are more than your nipples and your clitoris. You both can find it together and that makes it more fun.
Many women let their sex life wither before their eyes and blame it on age and children, but you can still get that balance irrespective of your age. You have to find what works for you.