How To Give Yourself The Closure Your Ex Refused To Give You

When a relationship ends, closure becomes necessary to move on. But sometimes, even if you want to understand the reasons behind the breakup, your ex might not cooperate. However, you can still find your own closure and move on from the past.

1. Let Your Emotions Flow Without Shame Or Judgment

When you're feeling rejected or hurting after a breakup, so many feelings can come rushing to the surface. You can't stop wondering what you did wrong and it seems like no one else will ever make you feel the way they did. It's okay to feel however you feel. Missing them, being angry or emotionally devastated, all of that is normal. Being true to your emotions instead of burying them will allow you to healthily process them.

2. Decide What You're Truly Looking For

To move past the pain of a breakup, it may seem like closure from your ex is the only solution. However, what you truly need is an emotional shift. Ask yourself why you are seeking closure. Is it to seek revenge or to know if you idealized the relationship? Do you have unspoken words or do you want your ex back? Once you know what you really want, it will be easier to find closure on your own terms.

3. Write A Letter To Them That You're Never Going To Send

Writing down your thoughts and emotions about the situation can help you process, grieve, and feel liberated. Make a list of things that made you angry as well as things you want to apologize for. Write down anything you wish you could say to your ex. Forgive them for what you can and end the letter with a genuine farewell. Read it out loud, then dispose of it to prevent yourself from repeatedly obsessing over it.

4. Talk About Your Feelings With Some Close Friends

During tough times, having a support system is crucial. Sharing your experiences and feelings with close friends can help you process the situation and begin the healing process. If you don't have close friends you can talk to, consider reaching out to a therapist, counselor, or mentor. They can offer a listening ear and help you gain a fresh perspective on your situation.

5. Step Away From Unhealthy Patterns

Wallowing in misery and crying all day won't help you find closure. Take some time to grieve and reflect, but then focus on self-care. Exercise, eat well, get enough sleep, and try to have fun. Taking care of yourself will help you move forward.

6. Accept That You Deserve Better

It's common to feel guilty when your ex is avoiding you, especially if you think you played a role in their behavior. However, unless you did something significantly wrong to deserve being ignored, you shouldn't blame yourself. If your ex doesn't value your emotions, then they never truly cared for you.

7. Stop Reaching Out

There's no going back to change what has already happened. If your ex is avoiding you or not interested in discussing the reasons behind the breakup, it's time to stop waiting for closure from them. Dwelling on closure only prolongs the pain of a relationship that has already ended. If your ex is meant to return, they will. In the meantime, it's essential to let go of the uncertainty and start moving on with your life.

8. Rediscover Your Passions

Find something that brings you joy and immerse yourself in it. Whether it's your job, volunteering, painting, or building your community, dedicate yourself to your passion. If you haven't yet found your purpose or something that excites you, take this as an opportunity to explore and try new things. Create a list of activities you've always wanted to do and start ticking them off.

9. Forgive Yourself For The Part You Played

Forgiving yourself for trying to fix things with your ex and accepting that you may still love them can be difficult but essential for finding closure and moving on. Don't be too hard on yourself, and remember that it's okay to take the time you need to heal.