How To Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Using Male Psychology

If you search online, you'll find numerous articles discussing various techniques to win back any man.

The issue lies in the fact that those tactics may or may not be effective. Every man is unique, and the approach that ignites an intense desire in one may irritate another.

Nevertheless, one universal truth about men is that they possess a distinct psychology, shaped by a combination of hormones and societal expectations, that sets them apart from women.

We understand your curiosity: is it possible to leverage this psychology to regain the love and affection of your former boyfriend?

In brief, the answer is affirmative. Nonetheless, there is a caveat.

Therefore, the complete answer is that while it's feasible, the same psychological techniques will not be effective on every man across the globe.

Our objective today is to present you with some of the most frequently successful techniques that tend to work on a majority of men.


Upon reading the above headline, you're likely contemplating along the lines of, "Certainly, I should endeavor to win him back!"

Otherwise, why would you be here, isn't it?

However, it's still a crucial question to analyze. Frequently, our emotions get the better of us, which is particularly problematic after a breakup.

Thus, let's explore the instances when you should or shouldn't genuinely strive to rekindle your relationship with your former boyfriend.

When all signs say go….

The first positive indication is that your ex is unattached. Nevertheless, it's not the sole factor to contemplate.

Contemplate on your actual relationship with him, and ponder whether he treated you well.

In a healthy relationship, your boyfriend should continue to take you out on dates, recall your preferences, share some of your interests, and hold you in esteem.

Although we believe that a relationship should never be the sole source of your fulfillment (you should be a fulfilled person independently!), a good relationship should enhance aspects of your life that you might not have anticipated. Aside from making you happy, your boyfriend should genuinely add value to your life.

In other words, it should be advantageous for you to reconcile with your ex. If he's bringing negativity, mistreatment, or extreme possessiveness to the table, perhaps it's time to reopen the menu and select something better.

When you should move on…

Just as being unattached is a positive signal, being involved with someone else could be an unfavorable one.

Depending on how swiftly he entered into a new relationship after yours ended, his current partner could be a rebound. In such a case, it may be possible for you to regain his affection.

However, if it's a profoundly committed relationship, we suggest keeping your distance. Attempting to intervene may only cause emotional distress for yourself.

Another major reason to avoid reuniting is if your prior relationship was unhealthy. It's not worthwhile to invest your time or emotions into men who were abusive, excessively possessive, or otherwise harmful to you.

We provide a more detailed discussion on this matter in our guide on how to win back your ex-boyfriend after a traumatic breakup.


As you've reached this point in the guide, we assume that you've concluded that your ex is genuinely worth rekindling a relationship with.

So let's proceed to the exciting part: the strategies that you can employ to influence him psychologically.

Once more, it's important to acknowledge that not all men are alike. You cannot categorize them into tidy boxes and assume that what works on one will work on all the rest.

The forthcoming tactics are some of the most successful that we have come across. Keep in mind that implementing only one may not be enough to win back your ex-boyfriend, so you may have to try a blend of them.

With that said, let's examine them in greater detail...

Tempt him with the thrill of the hunt

When it comes to love, men often prefer to see themselves as hunters.

Upon spotting a woman at a bar, most men do not initially consider committing to her. Rather, they tend to view the pursuit of her as a game, and the challenge becomes even more appealing when it is difficult to conquer.

In fact, frequently it's the act of playing this game that men enjoy the most. The triumph is all the more satisfying when the game has been arduous.

If you employ this approach, consider mimicking a slot machine. Offer flirts intermittently that are akin to small payouts, which will entice him to continue playing.

However, you should not offer him the jackpot after just a few attempts. If it were that simple, everyone would play, wouldn't they?

Similar to the initial payout that sparks someone's interest, you should reach out to him to start a conversation. It is advisable to do this after a period of no contact for the greatest impact.

Once the conversation has begun, refrain from being too accessible. Avoid responding to every text immediately as if your life depended on it.

Take your time, because then he will value each text he receives even more.

Eventually, when you meet him in person again, engage in flirting once more. However, avoid succumbing to him right away - just drop occasional flirty hints, such as a playful smirk or a gentle touch on his shoulder before you depart.

Sending text messages to him will be crucial to your strategy for winning him back. Amy North, a relationship coach, provides comprehensive advice and message templates in her Text Chemistry Course.

If you require additional guidance regarding communication with him, we suggest examining the course for more insights.

Remind him that there's competition

Competition can make any man's heart race. By incorporating some competition into the chase you are creating for him, you will significantly enhance his interest.

The issue with this approach is that there is a delicate balance to maintain. You do not want to incessantly talk about the numerous people who are interested in you.

In all likelihood, this behavior may only annoy him. He may either block you or roll his eyes and attempt to ignore you, because it will seem as if you are rubbing salt in the wound.

Additionally, if you persist in discussing other individuals, you raise the likelihood that he will see through your intentions.

A natural and effective way to remind him that there is competition is by simply being yourself. For instance, when spending time with him, consider wearing something that makes you feel confident and comfortable, and let him observe the attention you receive.

You can also showcase your confidence by sharing a picture of yourself on social media after a makeover or when you feel especially good about your appearance. Allow the compliments to come in naturally and let them speak for themselves.

Don't Let Him Think You Need Him

This relates to the pursuit dynamic we've discussed. If you reveal your need for him too early on, it may remove the excitement of the chase for him.

Avoid the urge to plead for a second chance or immediately confess your enduring love for him.

Transform yourself into a formidable presence. Engage in fitness activities, revamp your appearance, and immerse yourself in the hobbies you've always desired but never had the chance to pursue.

Transform into the woman you've always envisioned yourself to be. As your confidence soars, your ex-boyfriend may be drawn to your newfound allure.

Want to increase your irresistible appeal? Inform him that you're only interested in being friends for the time being.

Seek his advice and converse with him as you would any other male friend. This tactic may ignite a spark of desire within him, causing him to pursue you relentlessly.

Blow his mind by stroking his ego

Men often enjoy feeling like they are superior or exceptional.

Men often desire to be the "best" in every aspect of your life, including being the best lover, kisser, and romantic partner. This tendency is primarily driven by their competitive nature.

Let's face it, who doesn't enjoy the feeling of being the best at something?

This is yet another psychological trait that you can leverage to your advantage. However, it does not imply that you should overwhelm your ex with flattery.

Excessive compliments can come across as insincere, and your ex-boyfriend may eventually realize your ulterior motives.

Instead, you can seek his advice on a topic that you know only he could provide valuable insights on. Choose a subject that you know he is knowledgeable about.

For instance, let's imagine he is an exceptional chef, and you're attempting to recreate his specialty dish. You could send him a text message, seeking his guidance and suggesting that only he can provide the necessary instructions.

Dress to impress (without seeming like it)

The next time you encounter him, it's time to stun him with your appearance.

Choose an outfit that makes you feel gorgeous and self-assured. Your objective is to appear your best while giving the impression that you haven't made an excessive effort.

In other words, avoid wearing your sexiest attire and instead opt for something equally stunning. Consider what you would typically wear for a night out with your closest friends, for example.

This strategy has two advantages: first, your ex-boyfriend may be attracted to you, and second, your self-assurance may pique the interest of other men if you happen to encounter him in public, such as at a bar or restaurant.

If he observes other people admiring you or is exposed to your self-assured demeanor, he may feel compelled to step up his game if he desires to win you back.