How To Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Over Text (In 3 Simple Steps)

Has the chapter closed between you and your ex-boyfriend, or is there still a chance for reconciliation?

As the days go by, memories of him start to resurface and you find yourself longing for the moments you shared. Your thoughts keep drifting back to him, and you can't help but constantly check your phone, hoping to see a message from him.

Despite encouragement from loved ones to move on, thoughts of his face still trigger a racing heart and make it difficult for you to let go.

Is that applicable to your situation?

We understand completely, which is why we've created this guide on how to win back your ex-boyfriend through texting.

Previously, we discussed tactics such as sending texts to evoke jealousy in your ex-boyfriend or to rekindle their interest in you. However, in this guide, we aim to provide a more comprehensive approach to the best strategy for winning them back.

Your initial task is as follows:


It's important to note that the healing process is critical. Simply reuniting with your ex-boyfriend will not instantly mend a broken heart.

In reality, it could potentially lead to temporary feelings of heightened distress. The fear of the relationship ending once more could cause you to experience a constant state of anxiety.

What steps can you take to avoid this scenario?

The solution is straightforward: prioritize your own healing process immediately after the breakup. By doing so, even if you are not successful in getting back together with him, you will emerge from the experience as a stronger individual.

And it starts with this...

Go through a no contact period

Specialists globally advocate for implementing a period of no contact directly following the breakup, and we concur with this approach.

What does the term "no contact period" mean?

It refers to a mutually agreed upon time frame, ranging from a few weeks to several months, during which you refrain from any communication with your ex. The duration of this period is determined by you.

We suggest a minimum of one month for the no-contact period. This allows you ample time to focus on your own healing and make progress without the potential distractions or hindrances from your ex.

Work on improving yourself

If you have decided to follow through with the no-contact period, the initial phase should be dedicated to gradually returning to a state of normalcy.

Allow yourself to experience and process the emotions of grief and sadness. For instance, you can give yourself permission to fully feel and express these emotions for a few days to a week, after which you can start taking steps towards moving forward.

Once you have given yourself the time to grieve, begin the process of self-rebuilding. Indulge in self-care activities such as taking a soothing shower, getting a new hairstyle, or resuming your fitness regimen if that is something you enjoy.

Continuing with your previous daily activities will provide a surprising sense of comfort. Engaging in these familiar tasks can trick your mind into perceiving a sense of normalcy.

It may be challenging initially, but approach it with a day-by-day mindset.

Eventually, you will be able to reflect on your journey and see the progress you have made.

Regain your happiness

Once you have re-established a healthy daily routine, it is time to take hold of happiness for yourself.

This is a level beyond basic self-enhancement. Now, you will spend time with your loved ones and friends.

Experiment by dressing up and venturing out, you may have a more enjoyable time than you ever anticipated.

Engage in an activity that has always intrigued you, such as attending dancing or cooking classes, or anything else that interests you.

Essentially, fill your schedule with various activities. You may be surprised to find that after a busy and long day, your thoughts about your ex-boyfriend have diminished.

Consider seeing who else is out there first

If it appears that we are attempting to discourage you from reuniting with your ex, it is because we are, to some extent.

Honestly, what we are advocating for is for you to cultivate yourself into a well-rounded individual. This is because when your ex sees how content and thriving you have become in the meantime, they will find you even more attractive.

A portion of this process, as intimidating as it may seem, will involve exploring the dating scene to some extent before reuniting with your ex. We understand that it might seem strange.

However, this is a crucial step. During this phase, you will determine whether your ex truly is the right person for you, or if it would be in your best interest to move on without them.

This does not imply that you must go on dates with different individuals every night. You are not required to attempt to make someone else fall in love with you.

It simply entails taking a brief glimpse into what else is available. You may consider exploring dating apps, or asking that attractive person at the bar for a drink on another occasion.

It does not have to become serious. Even if the outcome is simply to make you aware of what you miss about your ex, that is okay - at least you can say that you gave a fair shot at romance elsewhere.


All right, the no-contact period has ended or you have chosen to initiate communication with him. What comes next?

Sending him a text message will be the simplest mode of communication for the time being. It will play a significant role in winning back your man, however, it is not the only factor.

It serves more as a way to break the ice. The ultimate objective is to meet your ex in person or have a phone conversation with them.

Here's the procedure:

Break the no contact period with your first text

Sending the initial text message after a no-contact period can be challenging. It is normal to feel nervous and exposed, as you are essentially putting everything on the line.

You have a few options when it comes to this task. You can opt for a relaxed approach by inquiring about his emotions, evoke feelings of nostalgia by reminiscing about a cherished moment with him, or even make him burst into laughter with a witty joke.

We have a comprehensive article that covers the topic of what to text your ex-boyfriend after observing a no-contact period.

Make conversation with him

Did you send out that first text? Excellent!

It's time to maintain the conversation with him. Maintaining this conversation is somewhat similar to keeping a weak fire burning.

Continuing the analogy, you must continually add fuel to the fire to restore it to its former brightness. This fuel must be easily combustible, or the fire will simply go out.

It is advisable to employ conversation starters that captivate him and make it easy for him to reply. For instance, you can grab his attention with a tale by starting with something like, "You won't believe the amazing thing that just happened to me today..."

Of course, this opener works best if there has indeed been an exceptional occurrence in your life. There's no need to fabricate something interesting.

Another effective method to maintain the conversation is by posing questions to him and making the conversation center around him. Let him be the center of attention, so to say.

However, it doesn't mean bombarding him with numerous questions consecutively, as this may make him feel like he's being questioned. After he answers your questions, try to make a comment related to his answer, especially if he's also asking you questions in return.

Keep your tone light and friendly

As the conversation moves back and forth between you two, your emotions may become intense. After all, you are communicating with your former boyfriend, someone whom you likely had strong feelings for.

When your emotions are heightened, it can be tempting to delve into serious topics. It's best to avoid this situation.

The primary objective when you start texting each other again should be to keep the tone of your conversations upbeat and friendly. Demonstrate to him that you're in a positive state and doing well.

By doing so, you'll exhibit your strong and self-sufficient character. He will be attracted to you when he sees that you are not overwhelmed, and he will also wonder why you appear to not depend on him (even if you secretly do).

If you find yourself becoming drawn into intense and emotional topics too soon, there is a simple solution: tell him you're occupied. Then, step away from your phone and take a moment to calm down until you're ready to continue the conversation.

If you're unsure how to make yourself irresistible to your ex, there is help available. There are experts who can guide you on how to attract him back.

The Text Chemistry program was created by a renowned relationship coach, Amy North. She has uncovered psychological insights that can help you craft texts that will reignite his passion.

Work your way up to meeting with him again

Once you have built a strong connection with your ex-boyfriend and have been regularly communicating for a few days, you have reached the stage where you can plan to meet up again.

There are several reasons why arranging a face-to-face meeting is beneficial.

First, it provides an opportunity for you to assess if there is still a spark between you. Our memories can often be overly nostalgic, and it's possible that you may discover that the chemistry between you is no longer there.

Second, it allows you to have conversations about rekindling your relationship in a more personal setting. These discussions are often more effective in person, where he can see the sincerity and authenticity in your words and actions.

Third, you can more accurately gauge his level of interest in rekindling the relationship. Being able to see his facial expressions and hear the tone of his voice as he responds to you will provide valuable insight into his feelings.

Make the plans to meet up through text, as it's a convenient method for both of you. Opt for a relaxed setting, such as a bar, coffee shop, or casual restaurant, as opposed to an upscale, formal location.

Keep the timeline flexible by asking if he'd like to meet for a cup of coffee "sometime" instead of specifying a set time.

This approach also provides him with the chance to suggest the most convenient time for him and be an active participant in planning the meetup.


With the upcoming meetup, you're making progress towards reuniting with your ex-boyfriend. His agreement to see you indicates that he's still interested in communicating with you.

Regarding the meeting, it's best not to approach it as a formal date at this stage. Opt for an attire that is presentable, showing that you put effort into your appearance, but avoid going over the top with excessive formality.

Ultimately, the most crucial aspect is that your outfit should make you feel confident and beautiful.

When it comes to conversation, keep it upbeat and lighthearted. Take time to assess his level of engagement and interest.

Allow the conversation to unfold naturally. If discussing a reunion is not appropriate at this time, consider proposing another meeting to gauge his continued interest.

However, if all indicators suggest that it's a good time and he appears to be receptive, feel free to broach the topic. Ask if he would like to go on a formal date with you.

If he declines, it's important to remember that the healing process was not in vain. There are many other potential partners who would be eager to fill the role previously occupied by your ex.

And there's always a possibility that you and your ex may rekindle your relationship in the future. You never know what the future holds.


Texting plays a crucial role throughout the entire process of reuniting with your ex. It is essential to have a thorough understanding of the nuances and strategies of texting.

Crafting captivating messages, maintaining an engaging dialogue, and interpreting his tone are just a few of the skills you must master if you hope to successfully rekindle your relationship with your ex-boyfriend.