Discovering that your former boyfriend, whom you still have feelings for, is now in a relationship with another woman can be devastating.
This news can lead to an unhealthy fixation on the new couple, causing you to constantly check their social media presence and question the seriousness of the relationship.
Though it may seem hopeless, it is possible to win back your ex-boyfriend even when he is seeing someone else.
To help you in this endeavor, we have put together a guide on how to get your ex boyfriend back from another girl.
THE ODDS OF GETTING HIM BACK WHEN HE'S WITH SOMEONE NEW
A common question in this scenario is, what are the chances of successfully winning him back while he is involved with someone new?
The answer to this question depends on whether or not his new relationship is a rebound. A rebound relationship is one that begins soon after a breakup, and is used as a coping mechanism by the individual to alleviate the pain and insecurity caused by the breakup.
There can be multiple reasons for this behavior, such as attempting to make the ex-partner jealous or to move on more quickly.
Rebound relationships are often not long-lasting and serious, providing an opportunity for you to get your ex-boyfriend back.
According to many experts, rebound relationships are generally short-lived. Since they are typically not serious and long-lasting connections, you have a better chance of getting your ex-boyfriend back if he is in one.
In this case, it is a strong indication that the chances of winning him back are low, and it is important to respect the current relationship and move on.
The distinction between a rebound and a serious relationship can be determined by the duration of the relationship.
The likelihood of it being a rebound relationship increases if he starts a new relationship with someone else shortly after your relationship ended.
YOU'LL BE TEMPTED TO DO THESE THINGS (BUT YOU SHOULDN'T)
Before discussing the methods of winning back your ex, let's discuss what not to do.
The intense jealousy you are currently experiencing might prompt you to take actions that will harm your chances of winning back your ex. To avoid these common mistakes, we will outline them for you.
Ruining His New Relationship
Many women, who want their ex back while he is in a new relationship, engage in acts of espionage and sabotage. They attempt to undermine the new relationship using subtle tactics.
These tactics may involve reaching out to the other woman to make her feel insecure about the relationship or convincing their ex that the new relationship is not worth it. They will do anything to cause a rift between the new couple.
Let us be candid with you, engaging in such behavior is a complete waste of your time. If it is a rebound relationship, the odds of it lasting are low anyway.
In such a scenario, all you need to do is be patient and wait for the right moment.
Begging Him To Come Back To You
When we see someone we love with someone else, all logical thinking goes out the window. Even if you are usually composed, you may find yourself consumed by the desperation to get them back.
This makes you more susceptible to the huge mistake of begging them to come back to you.
You should never resort to begging in an effort to win back your ex-boyfriend. Such behavior only makes you appear insecure, lacking confidence, and unattractive.
When you beg, you are sending the message that you are helpless without him and that you need him to simply exist.
Begging is a clingy behavior that will not convince your ex to choose you over his new girlfriend, especially if she is self-assured and strong.
Playing A Few Jealousy Games
Another outdated approach is the use of petty mind games.
Some may believe that inciting jealousy in their ex-boyfriend is the way to win him back, and it can be an effective tactic if executed correctly.
However, many women make the mistake of employing immature strategies such as flaunting a new partner, oversharing their happiness, or telling their ex that they are better off without him.
These methods may work with an immature partner, but the relationship that results from such actions will be built on a toxic foundation.
Such a bond is not conducive to a long-term, healthy relationship and may lead to future conflicts.
Lashing Out At Him
It is not advisable to take out your pain and hurt on your ex-boyfriend, even if you are feeling overwhelmed.
This means refraining from insults, vulgar language, or rants. If you need to express your emotions, it is better to turn to a trusted friend for support instead.
An effective therapeutic technique is to write down your emotions. Compose an impassioned letter to your ex-boyfriend or his new girlfriend, expressing all of your feelings.
After you have finished writing, tear up the letter and dispose of it. Then, take a deep breath.
Take pride in yourself for exhibiting maturity and for avoiding a potentially destructive reaction. Lashing out at him would only drive him away, which is not what you want.
HOW TO (REALLY) GET YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND BACK FROM ANOTHER GIRL
Now let's discuss strategies to win back your ex-boyfriend from his new partner.
Give Him Some Space For A Little While
The suggestion of giving him space may seem counterintuitive, especially since you want him back and he is currently with someone else.
Won't he just become more enamored with her if you are not present?
The answer is likely no. Rebound relationships tend to have a limited lifespan and often end without any intervention from you.
As soon as he is alone again or even while he is with the other person, he will begin to ponder about you. He may wonder where you are, how you are doing, and if you are happy without him.
The saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" holds true, and his curiosity about you will intensify.
By giving him space, you will only serve to increase his affection and longing for you.
One of the key steps in the process of winning back your ex-boyfriend is the no-contact period. This involves abstaining from any communication with your ex for a set period of time. Our recommended duration is between three to four weeks, though some individuals choose a shorter period of two weeks or a longer period of up to three months.
Become Your Best Self
During this break, it's not productive to just sit and do nothing.
Instead, you should use this time to work on self-improvement and becoming the best version of yourself.
Think of it like a caterpillar's metamorphosis, where you are in a cocoon, undergoing a transformation.
When the time comes for you to reemerge, you will have new "wings" that will attract your ex's attention.
To achieve this, take on new challenges and do the things you have always wanted to do, such as getting fit, taking cooking classes, learning a new language, or changing your hairstyle.
The goal is to feel accomplished and confident in yourself. This newfound confidence will come in handy when you eventually reach out to your ex-boyfriend.
Keep In Touch, And Keep It Friendly
So, make sure to hold onto that confidence as you move forward.
Once the no-contact period has ended, reach out to your ex in a casual and friendly manner. You can start by asking how he is doing and what he has been up to.
Observing his response can give you valuable insight into his thoughts and feelings.
Maintain open communication with your ex. Avoid overwhelming him with messages, but try to keep the conversation flowing regularly.
This will help you establish a presence in his mind so that he won't forget about you.
If you require additional assistance in deciding what to say, consider using the Text Chemistry program written by relationship coach Amy North.
The program was designed specifically to help women like yourself communicate effectively with men through texting, and it has been proven to be effective.
Consider Telling Him How You're Feeling
As you continue to maintain regular communication with your ex, consider expressing your feelings to him.
This does not mean that you should immediately demand that he leave his current girlfriend. Avoid telling him to choose between you and her at this time.
Instead, use honesty to clear the air. Let him know that you still have feelings for him and that you would be interested in exploring those feelings when the opportunity arises.
Also, make it clear to him that you respect his current relationship and do not want to interfere if he is happy.
The decision must be made by him alone. Be patient and allow him time to reflect on what you have communicated to him.
Know When To Cut Your Losses And Move On
If you have discussed your feelings with your ex, he might come back to you and say that he does not want to get back together now. Alternatively, you may learn that his current relationship is serious and that he is truly happy.
In such circumstances, it is important to acknowledge and accept his feelings and move forward.
Though this may not be an effortless task, keep in mind that there are numerous other men in the world who would be eager to treat you with adoration.
It may be difficult to hear, but it's possible that you may be thinking, "But nobody can replace him!"
While it's accurate that he may be unique, it's likely that you previously felt this way about another individual prior to him unless he was your very first boyfriend.
You successfully overcame that previous breakup, and you can do so again with this one.
Time is a crucial factor in the healing process.