If you're currently in a casual dating situation with a guy who's also seeing other women, it can be challenging to convince him to change his mind about the relationship. If he's content with the way things are, attempting to alter the situation may result in disappointment. However, if you're interested in a more serious relationship, initiating a conversation could prompt him to reconsider and prioritize you. Here are some tips to help you shift the relationship from casual to exclusive and get him to focus on you.
1. Schedule more time with him
If you only meet him once a month, you might be just a booty call. However, if you spend time together every weekend, he may realize he doesn't need anyone else to have fun. The more time you spend together, the more he'll get to know your personality. Avoid overwhelming him by suggesting too many dates at once. Simply asking, "Would next Saturday work for us to hang out again?" should suffice.
2. Shower him with compliments
If your relationship started as purely sexual, showing appreciation for non-physical traits may catch him off guard. Let him know you admire his sense of humor if he makes you laugh, or compliment him if he's always well-dressed. Expressing genuine kindness can alter his perception of you.
3. Text him about stuff outside of the relationship
If he's a great conversationalist, try asking him a question about himself over text. Demonstrate a genuine interest in his life and actively listen to his response. This will enhance the emotional bond between you two. If he didn't like you, he wouldn't invest time in meaningful conversations. Strengthen your connection by learning about his past experiences.
4. Up your flirtiness
If you're already skilled at maintaining eye contact, try incorporating some mild PDA when you're out in public. Avoid anything too explicit, but small gestures like holding hands or stroking his arm could be effective. You want to send a message that you feel at ease with him, without making others uncomfortable. Observe his reaction carefully. If he appears tense, it may be too much too soon. If he reciprocates the gesture, you're on the right track.
5. Tell him you're not seeing anyone else right now
Assuming that it's true, you may want to mention to him that he's the only one you've been seeing. It's likely that you've already discussed the terms of your casual relationship when it began, and if he's free to see other women, you're likely free to see other men. However, dropping this comment could demonstrate that you're technically single, making it easier for him to consider a more serious relationship. On the other hand, if you're also seeing other people, express that you don't have as much fun with them as you do with him.
6. Tell him how you feel
Engaging in a good conversation is the most effective way to try to get what you want from him. However, be prepared for the possibility of heartbreak or for him to distance himself if he's uncomfortable with the idea. It's a gamble to take. If he's interested, you may have a new boyfriend, but if your feelings are stronger than his, a brief separation may occur. If your emotions are on the brink of love, taking the risk is worthwhile because ultimately, you'll need to face the truth. If you can handle the current situation for a while longer, it's easier to gradually determine his thoughts and feelings.
7. Improve yourself
Remember, you are an equal partner in this relationship. Is there anything you can do to improve yourself? It's always a wise decision to better yourself, whether it's by learning about your home finances or adopting a healthy hobby that can help you grow. If you left school prematurely, perhaps returning to complete your education could help you progress in your career if you feel stuck. By demonstrating that you are always striving to improve, you may encourage him to upgrade the relationship.
8. See if he'd be down for a mini-vacation with you
If the weather is favorable, suggest going on an adventure with him. It's an excellent opportunity to escape the confines of your home and make memories together. Being in a new environment can help him view you differently. Although you may be fun to hang out with at clubs, you're also an enjoyable companion during long car rides or beach trips. By altering your surroundings, you may alter his entire perspective of you.