Getting guys to notice us, ladies, is not hard. But the real power lies in knowing how to get a guy to obsess over you.
Obsession often comes as a negative term, especially in relationships. But we’re not talking about Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. We’re more team Allie and Noah from The Notebook, and oh, boy, those two were absolutely crazy about each other!
So, what’s the secret? The looks? Nope, it’s never that straightforward? Your ability to quote every Kubrick movie? Try again. To get any guy to obsess over you in the most positive way possible is a combination of your personality and vulnerability.
1. Put yourself first
Self-love comes before any guy, your family, whomever. It’s okay to be more invested in what suits you, what makes you joyful and peaceful.
You should never apologize for being kind to yourself because, eventually, that will make you a better person for those around you as well.
Guys can’t love gals who don’t know how to love themselves. And if you’re still struggling, start from there.
Instead of asking how to get a guy to obsess over you, ask yourself how to fall in love with yourself.
2. Don’t sell yourself short
If you have passions, go after them.
And if you like to read gossip magazines, that’s okay too.
Being educated, having opinions, crying during romcoms, that’s alright. Your weight, hair, cellulite, they are perfectly normal.
There’s no point in hiding just to get a guy to obsess over you. Once you are together, he’ll find the real you, and you need to be comfortable in your skin to know that you’re worth everything.
Never dumb yourself down to please a guy. And never doubt your beliefs because someone disagrees with you.
3. No faking it
Fake nails are okay. Fake personalities, not so much.
You don’t want to wake up next to a stranger, and neither does any guy.
Here’s the thing: you can’t just blabber all your flaws, nor you need to. But, if you’re not a morning person, say it. If you’re not into camping, don’t pretend.
Instead of making up these whole stories that will make a guy think you two have so much in common, talk to him. Ask him what’s so great about camping, give him a shot. But, don’t pretend to be an expert.
4. Be supportive
We all have those moments when we need someone to remind us that things are going to be okay.
If your man’s struggling to get to his goals, or he lost faith in himself, help him.
If he’s ready for that promotion, stay behind him. No, you don’t have to be with him 24/7 but do show that you care by being the kind, generous, and kind person you really are.
After all, the relationship’s a two-way street, and you should expect the same support from him. Be each other’s safety nets and helping hands.
5. Give as much as he does
It’s one thing to show someone support if he’s there for you.
But, if a guy’s doing a bare minimum, you should too.
It’s not a question of punishment but self-respect.
If he’s always canceling your plans to watch soccer with his buddies, that’s not cool. It means he takes you for granted, and the way to turn it around is to start doing things for yourself.
Once he knows that you don’t need him to have fun, he’ll do better.
6. Don’t drop everything for him
If you have plans with your friends, don’t cancel them. Or, if you can’t answer a text, make him wait.
Your life’s happening with or without him, and he’ll respect you more if you’re actually living it.
You should feel as if he needs you, but you shouldn’t just drop everything and run into his arms. It’s boring, clingy, and if you want to make any guy obsess over you, remember that your prior obligations come before him.
Sacrifices in relationships come with time.
7. Flirt, flirt, flirt!
In the early stages of dating or hooking up, there’s a lot of flirting. But, with time, it goes away.
Yet, it shouldn’t because you should both try to keep the initial spark alive.
You don’t have to be all dolled up, but flirting isn’t about the way you look. It’s about all the little things, the way you look at him, or the way you touch your hair; even washing dishes can be super sexy.
Don’t be afraid to show your sensuality and femininity, and you don’t have to be a master of flirting to get a guy’s attention. It’s all quite simple and natural.
Let yourself loose!
8. Keep yourself busy
Have a life outside of your loved-up bubble.
If you want a guy to obsess over you, you have to know how to live without him. Then, when you’re with him, he’ll know you made a choice to be with him. That’s hot!
Your friends, education, family, career, that’s just as important as his life, and as your life as a couple.
9. Play nice with his friends
Keep your distance but be on friendly terms with his buddies.
You don’t have to pretend to be their new BFF, but you want them to think that you’re a cool, low-maintenance, effortless chick.
Being a bit flirty is okay, but don’t make things uncomfortable.
If your guy’s friends have different opinions than you, you be the adult in the room. You don’t have to be afraid to say what you have, but don’t get into heated arguments.
Say what you have and leave them wondering.
10. Choose your words
When you’re angry, don’t just unload a whole pile of nothing on him.
Wait. Think. If he can’t understand your POV, try to explain it as if you were talking to a five-year-old.
Do compliment him, make him feel wanted, handsome witty.
Ask him about his day.
Finally, say please and thank you. It makes you classy and well-mannered. Also, it makes him feel appreciated.
Bonus: Reward him
We give our kids and pets rewards for good behavior. No, you shouldn’t give your boyfriend a treat, but try to find ways to reward him for his efforts.
Remind him why you chose him. It’s not so much as how to get a guy to obsess over you. It’s more about respect and appreciation. And no, you can’t use sex as a weapon. Be more creative!
Do something selfless for your guy. Don’t make a habit of it, but when he’s genuinely deserving your admiration, why not show it to him?
Strong people find even more strength when they are vulnerable. Yes, this great guy who’s obsessed with you might break your heart. Instead of overthinking everything, tell yourself, “bring it on!”