Have you ever noticed how some girls can have guys falling all over them, seemingly with no effort on their behalf? You know, those girls that aren’t overly beautiful, funny or smart, but somehow guys just fall in love with them?

I have a friend that is just like this – and when we were growing up I was always analysing her, thinking how does she do it? I was super awkward and shy around guys, and had to really work to flirt with a guy. She, however, would never need to vie for a guys’ attention, and had a new guy confessing his love for her every single week. So, what’s her secret? Is she brewing some secret love potion? Is she sending them nudes?  

The answer is no – she’s not doing witchcraft or debauchery.

She is instead flirting, subtly, with every interaction. From years of analysing this behaviour I realised – she is a total flirt, but not just with guys – with girls too. Most people she interacted with she was cheeky, confident and flattering. She was flirting without even realising it, it was just her personality.

But hope is not lost, you don’t need a personality transplant in order to flirt naturally. I picked up a few tricks from watching this friends’ behaviour and can safely say that now I am a pro non-flirting flirter, and it’s a lot easier to get a guy’s attention! Here’s what I learned.

So, there you have it. You can see that flirting doesn’t have to be obvious – forget those old tips like ‘playfully touching his arm’ or putting lip gloss on to ‘draw attention to your mouth’. These tips are basic and overrated. I think being yourself, having fun and bringing out your playful and cheeky side are the best ways to get a guy to notice you and create chemistry.

Treat them like a friend.

…to an extent. You don’t want them to feel like you are too into them, that’s not the point of this tip. You want to toe the line somewhere between “she’s into me” and “goddamn, I’m in the friendzone again”. To achieve this, make sure you are teasing them a little, making lots of jokes and having fun!

Maintain eye contact and SMILE.

Pay attention to this one because it’s super important. A smile goes a long way, and actually looking a dude that you like in the eye is a key factor to flirting. You can show interest and ask questions, and make them feel heard and listened to. When you’re talking to them, zone in on them like they’re the only one in the room. But keep your distance once you aren’t with them in person. This will get them craving your company more and more as they will get hooked on that one-on-one attention.

Be playful.

There is nothing sexier than a girl that doesn’t take herself too seriously. Guys will love it if you can play around with them. Extra points if you manage work in body contact – he’ll think it’s cute if you try and wrestle with him (maybe don’t actually beat him though, that could be potentially scarring to his manhood).

Don’t go into too much personal detail.

When you are first flirting with a guy, don’t talk too much about your emotions or deeper details like past relationships or family issues. This will come, but in the beginning you want to keep it like and fun and keep the focus on YOU. A little mystery is always attractive, and it will keep him wanting more.

Flirting is fun when it’s not forced, remember that and good luck!