how to deal with trust issues and insecurities

Let’s not kid each other: giving someone your trust is never easy. In fact, some people are almost incapable of this important feat because of a nasty experience they went through with former lovers.

Trust issues and insecurities are very closely related. Some people will trust you unless you give them a reason not to, while others distrust until given a reason to trust.

Then we have those who trust blindly, and once that trust is broken, they never fully recover and end up with serious trust issues and insecurities.

But really, what are trust issues?

Broadly speaking, “trust issues” exist when you are incapable of trusting even though all the evidence suggests that you should. That’s a difficult way to live.

Insecurities, on the other hand, are fears and concerns that certain bad things will happen. For instance, some people are afraid their partners will leave them or betray them at some point.

These are all insecurities, and unless you take care of them, they can hold you back and keep you from living your life to the fullest.

1. Create The Right Connections

How To Deal With Trust Issues And Insecurities

Many people can trace their trust issues and most of their insecurities to a single person or relationship. One of the mistakes people make is isolating themselves from friends and family when they get into a romantic relationship.

They end up putting all their trust in this person and forget about everyone else. Consequently, when such people betray their trust, they feel like the whole world has. To some extent, that’s true because, to them, this person was the world.

To avoid carrying on these issues to your next relationship, you should have more than a couple of healthy relationships. Keep your friends and family close to give you a reality check when you start to doubt your sanity after a lover messes with your mind.

Having people you trust means that you will understand that the betrayal you went through was not the norm but the exception.

2. Establish Healthy Communication

How To Deal With Trust Issues And Insecurities

Many issues of trust arise because of communication failure. Relationships with trust and security exist due to proper communication between the partners.

If you can’t trust anyone, let your partner know about it. Communicating your trust issues can ensure your partner to try a little harder to reassure you.

Being direct about your fears is the way to go.

Sneaking around and trying to find what your significant other is up will only fuel your insecurities.

Let your partner have some space, and presume that they will make the right decisions for both of you. Once you grow suspicious, you will find issues where none exist.

There is nothing wrong with feeling insecure. The problem is letting the insecurities dictate the direction of your relationships.

If you have insecurities, speak out about them instead of dealing with the issues secretly without your partner’s knowledge.  

It’s also important to ask such questions calmly and without any negative preconceptions about what actually happens. Obviously, don’t bring up such issues during moments of anger as it might cause some defensiveness or fights.

3. Say What You Want Or Don’t Want

How To Deal With Trust Issues And Insecurities

We all have expectations about our relationships and partners, whether we voice them or not. Unfortunately, people who don’t speak up often suffer from insecurities and trust issues.

Even if the ex you loved to death betrayed you, don’t be afraid to express your opinions and relationship expectations to your new partner.

In relationships, the interests of all partners matter. So, you should never feel sidelined, and if you do, always speak up and tell your partner what you expect of them.

Without that information, your partner might not know you have an issue with their tendency to go for hours without calling to checking in on you.

Similarly, without saying what your expectations are, the best you can hope for is the partner’s willingness to offer you in the relationship.

In any relationship, knowing what you want is key. Otherwise, you will either fail to get what you want or get a lot less than you deserve.

4. Heal And Forgive Yourself And Others

How To Deal With Trust Issues And Insecurities

The past might have been horrible, but if you never let it go, it will ruin your future relationships with its trust issues and insecurities.

Playing the victim does not help, even if it gets you pity from your current partner. Instead, see the past as an important life lesson and learn to grow from that.

By moving on, you can become a better person. Being better means getting over your trust issues and addressing your insecurities.

Also, it’s important to forgive yourself and anyone who wronged you in the past.

Without forgiveness, you carry the burden of what you went through wherever you go. That includes your future relationships.

With forgiveness, you will also experience healing. This healing brings recovery from trust issues and the capacity to move on from serious relationship insecurities.

If you can effectively deal with trust issues and insecurities, you can overcome the most challenging times in a romantic relationship. With these tips, you can also help someone with trust issues overcome them and have better and healthier relationships.