Among numerous useless TikTok advice, here is something completely different. Ryan Martin, or angerprofessor on TikTok, has a Ph.D. in psychology and shares his extensive knowledge with his followers.
In his viral videos, the professor, who specializes in anger responses, shared tips on dealing with angry people.
Anger Is A Response
Anger is an emotion, but we all know that dealing with someone who is angry is no picnic in the park.
This particular emotion can cause a person to act out of character, say something hurtful, or worse.
In his videos, Dr. Martin explains how to deal with anger in a healthy manner, types of anger, and how to deal with an angry person.
All of his videos are useful and informative, but the latest truly caught everyone's attention.
Dr. Martin's Six Educational Videos
In his six-part series, Dr. Martin explains how to avoid making a bad situation worse.
What it means is avoiding things to escalate whenever possible.
Here is the breakdown of Dr. Martin's videos, and if you like TikTok, you should definitely follow the doctor for more on anger.
#1 What Is Your Role?
The first part deals with self-reflection.
As Dr. Martin says in his video:
"Ask yourself if you've done something wrong."
While anger can be misplaced, it is safest to start by examining your actions. Dr. Martin states:
"Keep in mind that their anger may be justified, but they're still expressing it in a maladaptive, problematic way."
If you did something to cause the anger, you have to accept it and change your attitude.
#2 React In The Opposite Way
Part 2 addresses non-complementary behavior.
In the second video, the doctor explains how not to add more fuel to the fire:
"A non-complementary behavior is if you do the opposite of their mood."
Merely, it states not to respond to anger with more anger. Instead, try to show compassion.
As Dr. Martin suggests:
"If you stay calm and even lower your voice a little bit, they are likely to match that and lower their voice a little bit."
#3 Silent Treatment
Part three is reserved for those who refuse to talk to you due to their built-up anger.
How to resolve an issue if the person does not want to talk about it? Well, it is tricky, but Dr. Martin has a solution.
As he says in the video:
"Find a way to communicate with them that serves your relationship."
It may not always work, but you should try to approach this person by stating:
"I believe you're angry with me. It seems you don't want to talk about it. That's okay, but when you are, I am ready."
See how it connects with part two? Again, you are showing compassion while staying calm and understanding.
#4 Do Not Use Generalization
In his fourth video, Dr. Martin talks about generalization. Instead, he is telling us to stop using generalization, as he says:
"Don't say things like, 'you always yell at me while you're mad."
It implies there is a pattern, and Dr. Martin wants to avoid it because it will make an angry person feel as if they were being attacked:
"When you imply there's a pattern, it's easy for them to feel like they're being attacked."
Always, never, everything, anything too vague is not a part of a good, healthy talk. But, it is especially dangerous to use these general terms when dealing with an angry person.
#5 Walk Away
In video number five, Dr. Martin talks about disengaging.
Dr. Martin says that there are numerous reasons to disengage, one of which being "because [an] interaction isn't likely to come to a positive resolution."
Basically, if you don't see a solution, disengaging is the only solution. Walking away is often the best thing you can do to avoid a situation escalating.
#6 Angry Text
His final video is dedicated to angry texts, as Dr. Martin advises us that it is always best to wait.
He suggests that the best way to deal with an angry text is to be:
"Non-judgemental, 'I want to understand your perspective' questions."
So, you can either wait for the person to cool off or try to calm down the situation by explaining to the angry side that you want the conflict to be resolved.