Published in Oct 2018 / Updated in Aug 2021
Relationships have their ups and downs. For instance, when your boyfriend is upset, it can make the day rough on the two of you, but being there during this sensitive time to cheer him up and help him with whatever he needs can make him more reassured about your relationship with him.
Be there for him in the following ways:
1. Lend a friendly ear
By simply being willing to listen to your boyfriend as he talks about whatever is bothering him can help cheer him up. This might also put him in the right attitude to come up with a solution that might get him out of the problem.
While he is talking, be sure to listen actively without interrupting, offering solutions, or imposing possible solutions upon him. All you need is to be a good listener.
You could get the conversation ball rolling by asking him, “You seem upset, honey. Would you like to talk about it?”
2. Empathize with his feelings
By empathizing, you will make your boyfriend realize that you understand, or at least have a willingness to understand what he is going through. This is one of the best things you can do for him to pull him out of the negative emotional problem he is struggling with.
To show empathy, you will need to listen and understand what is going on. For instance, he could say that he feels devastated, or unable to come up with a solution over whatever he is going through.
Your response could be, “I absolutely understand what you are going through,” and offer a friendly solution, so that he knows that you are at least willing to be there for him as he goes through whatever problem is afflicting him.
3. Accept the silence
It is not always that your boyfriend is up for a heart-to-heart when he gets upset. He may not even offer much response when you try to talk to him. If that happens to be the case, don’t try to force it.
Just assure him that you are willing to talk whenever he is ready to talk and let it rest. Even if he is typically quite talkative, don’t make a big deal out of it if he does not feel like talking just yet. Give him the time to open up when he feels the time is right for him.
4. Give him some space
If he requests some space as he deals with whatever he is going through, be understanding and let him be. Some people prefer some time alone when they are upset to cool down, but if he does not say he needs space, he probably doesn’t. If he does need space, give it to him and let him know you will be around when he needs someone later on.
5. Encourage him to get professional help
If his emotional state fails to show any improvement and instead it gets worse through withdrawal from family and friends and other risky behavior, then he might need professional help. Gently suggest that he talks to a therapist about what is bothering him and that you can help him find one if he warms up to the idea.
Comfort him in the following ways:
1. Give him a hug
If you generally exchange hugs, then giving him one might give him the comfort he really needs, but if you don’t usually hug you can ask for permission first.
2. Give him a kiss
A kiss to the forehead or cheek can show your boyfriend that you care and can give him the comfort he needs. As with the hug, this has to be part of the relationship beforehand, but you can also ask if it wasn’t.
3. Boost his confidence
Being upset probably makes him think less of himself. So reminding him of why he is such a great person might help. For instance, you can say, in case something he did was taken negatively by another person, “I know you made the right decision, even though he/she doesn’t see it that way.”
4. Offer to help
If you know a little more about the situation, you can offer specific help. For instance, if his crappy job is the problem, you can help him search for something better.
Cheer him up:
1. Play his favorite songs
Playing your boyfriend some of his favorite tracks might help him get out of his bad mood. Although he might not get as excited as he typically is to hear them, his mood is likely to get a significant boost.
2. Workout together
Exercise promotes the production of feel-good hormones or endorphins that can improve someone’s mood considerably. Other than that, a workout is going to distract him from whatever it is that is eating at him. It might also be a good way to channel the bad energy into something positive, which might help him get out of a bad mood.
3. Offer him some comfort food
Comfort food promotes the feel-good emotions that your boyfriend might need to get out of his bad mood. While it will not fix the problem, it can certainly improve his mood and put him in a position to deal with the problem he is facing.
4. Tell him silly jokes
Telling your boyfriend funny jokes might make him laugh and forget the stressful situation that is upsetting him. This could be showing him memes or even funny videos too.
5. Watch his favorite movie or TV show together
Your boyfriend probably has a show or movie he really likes. Watching it together might be just what he needs to cheer up and deal with the real problem he is facing.
People can get upset for any number of reasons, sensible or not. Whatever the case, if it is your boyfriend who has become upset, above are some ways you can take care of him. Basically, this amounts to being there for him by listening and giving him the space he needs to deal with the problem, comforting him with a hug or his favorite treat, and even trying to cheer him up with funny jokes or a great workout.