How To Ask A Guy Why He Hasn't Kissed You (15+ Examples)

You've been dating a guy for some time now and the spark between you two is palpable. He finds your jokes hilarious, he sets your heart aflutter, and there's a special connection whenever you talk. But, he hasn't kissed you yet and you're left wondering why. It's only natural for you to feel curious.

To make it easier to understand the situation, let's discuss a few things you can ask him. Additionally, we'll answer some other questions that many girls in your position may have. After reading this, you should feel confident in knowing why he hasn't kissed you and if he ever will.


We'll go over two of the most efficient methods for figuring out why a guy hasn't kissed you yet. The preferred approach, according to us, is to be straightforward about it if it's bothering you. However, you might prefer to try a different tactic to understand what's going on. We'll simplify some of these ideas to make it easier for you to pick the best option. Each section will contain questions you can ask.

Be Direct About It

The most straightforward way to understand why a guy hasn't kissed you is to ask him directly. However, we understand that this may not be the easiest approach for everyone. You may be shy, have trouble expressing yourself, or fear his response. That's totally understandable. No one wants to hear that a guy doesn't like them or that they aren't attractive enough for him to kiss.

Nevertheless, you deserve an answer to your question, one that meets your needs and clarifies his intentions. Guys are often guilty of assuming that you can read their minds and understand their desires, but get upset if you do the same. So, don't be afraid to ask him directly and listen to what he has to say. Some ways you can ask him include:

- "Is there a reason why you did not kiss me yet?"

- "Is it your usual practice to wait a few dates before kissing?"

- "Are you still unsure about wanting to kiss me?"

- "Let's be honest, I have wished to share a kiss with you for some time. What's the reason we haven't?"

- "I would like you to kiss me. Do you not want to?"

Understanding why your partner has not kissed you yet can be made easier with the following points in mind. Some women may find these suggestions too assertive or demanding. That being said, if you're in a relationship and it's been a while without a kiss, you have the right to know why. Relationships tend to follow a certain progression, and it's important to consider your expectations.

Don't panic if he says he's not ready for a kiss yet. Pay attention to how he responds to your questions and observe his reactions. Is he genuinely taken aback that you're asking? Does he mention that he's a traditionalist who prefers to take things slow? Has he demonstrated in any other way that he likes you, such as holding your hand or touching you unexpectedly?

Such actions and statements can reveal much about his thoughts. If a guy finds ways to touch you or be close to you, he's sending you a message that he's interested. He may be working up to the first kiss and need a boost of confidence, or he may simply not have found the right moment yet. Here are some additional questions you can ask to gain insight:

- "Are you waiting for the perfect moment to kiss me?"

- "Do you feel nervous or intimidated by me?"

- "Do you prefer to kiss a girl later in a relationship?"

- "Are you unsure about the first kiss?"

- "Can I initiate the kiss if you're uncertain?"

Taking into account your partner's needs can help in many ways. Men appreciate women who are supportive and considerate. You don't have to become someone he relies on for all his emotional needs, as that can be overwhelming. However, showing that you take his feelings seriously can increase his appreciation for you.

Be Subtle: Never An Easy Step

If you prefer a more subtle approach to finding out why he hasn't kissed you yet, it's important to be aware that some guys may misunderstand your questions. Asking subtle questions can be challenging and may not always yield the answers you're seeking.

To better understand the dynamics between you and him and to prevent any misunderstandings or tension, it's wise to ask questions to gauge his level of interest. The following questions can help clarify the situation and reduce any potential conflicts between you two:

- "Do you believe that attraction grows gradually or develops suddenly?"

- "Can a kiss serve as an indicator of attraction?"

- "What methods do you prefer to demonstrate your attraction to a girl?"

- "In your opinion, when is the appropriate moment to kiss a girl?"

- "Is it acceptable for a girl to initiate a kiss or should the guy always be the one to do it?"

- "What is the most effective way to convey to a guy that you want him to kiss you?"

- "What could it mean if a guy doesn't kiss a girl even after several dates?"

As you can see, some of these questions are straightforward while others are more delicate. You want to assess his perspective on this subject to have a better understanding of his intentions. Equally important, you want to express to him that you are ready for a kiss.

By doing so, he's more likely to comprehend and potentially kiss you before you become frustrated with waiting. After a certain point, it's perfectly fine to assume that he won't kiss you and move on with your life, seeking someone who is compatible with you in terms of dating pace.


This question does not have a straightforward answer. In a survey, approximately one-third of the participants stated that 2-3 dates are appropriate for the first kiss. However, 60% of the male respondents felt that the first date was ideal, while 48% of the female respondents felt the same.

The timing of a first kiss largely depends on the individual and their personal dating history. Don't make assumptions about a guy kissing you on the first date, as over half of men polled stated they prefer to wait. He will be paying attention to your signals and actions towards him.


If you're unsure if you're ready to directly ask him, you can use nonverbal cues to communicate your interest. These cues primarily involve body language, as well as some conversation and personal attention, such as:

- Gently touching him during your dates

- Joking about getting a kiss or discussing your preferred type of kiss

- Wearing a lip color that draws attention to your mouth

- Pouting your lips occasionally during conversation

- Leaning slightly forward as you speak to invade his personal space

If you employ these techniques, most guys should pick up on your interest. Those who don't may lack experience with dating or simply not be interested in you. Directly asking him why he hasn't kissed you can also provide clarity on the situation.

Get Ready To Be Kissed

Asking your guy why he hasn't kissed you yet may actually lead to your first kiss. He may not have been aware of your desire for a kiss and may respond by giving you one. If not, don't be discouraged as some guys simply have different preferences. If he does kiss you, it's a positive indication and you can feel more at ease.