How-To

How To Ask A Guy To Hang Out Casually Without Making It A Big Deal

In the 21st century, it is completely acceptable for a woman to ask a man out on a date. However, many people still find the idea intimidating. Societal norms from the past can be difficult to break, but don't let that discourage you. This guide will provide you with a foolproof way to ask a guy to hang out without feeling embarrassed.

1. Give Him An Easy Out

To avoid putting pressure on him, make it easy for him to decline your invitation. Phrase it in a way that allows him to have an excuse, such as "I don't know if you have plans, but if you don't...". This way, if he's not interested, he can decline without seeming unkind. If he is interested, he will likely take the opportunity to spend time with you. The response will also give you an indication of his feelings.

2. Default To Humor

Telling yourself to calm down when feeling nervous can be counter-productive, Instead, you can try to acknowledge your nerves and make light of the situation. Using humor, self-deprecation or even a bad pickup line can help to ease the tension. Being honest about your nerves can also help, even if it may be uncomfortable, it shows authenticity and vulnerability and can create a connection with the person you're speaking to.

3. Don't Sound Like You're Asking A Favor

When asking a guy out, remember that he will likely be flattered by the effort you've put in. There is no need to sound apologetic, as you are not imposing on him by asking. Make it clear that going on a date with you is not a burden, otherwise, he might perceive it that way.

4. Be Specific

Phrasing an invitation as "it would be fun to hang out sometime" is a non-committal approach that reduces the risk of direct rejection, but also makes it harder to move forward with plans. To take a more active role in asking the person out, a more specific invitation such as "Let's grab a drink next week" or "I'm going out with friends, would you like to join?" would be more effective, If you feel nervous about asking for a one-on-one date, it is also a good idea to invite him or her to a group setting.

5. Do It Over Text If You Have To

If you're shy and had difficulty approaching him in person, it's acceptable to ask him out via text message. However, one downside is that you will not be able to gauge his immediate reaction through his body language or tone of voice as you would in person, you'll have to interpret his response based on what he texts back.

6. Find The Right Moment

The situation and timing are crucial. Asking a man who is married and has children is not a good approach, as it lacks proper context. One step to take before asking someone out is to confirm they are single. However, there are other important factors to consider. Pick a location and time when the person is not preoccupied or in a rush. If you choose an inappropriate moment, it could negatively impact the outcome even if the person is interested.

7. Test The Waters

Asking someone out doesn't always have to be a blind leap, if you already know the person, you can use that information to gauge their interest before you ask them out. Look for signs such as a good rapport, flirting during conversations, or mutual attraction. If you are at a social gathering or party and catch their gaze, try to observe how they are responding, if they seem interested it could be a good sign. Use the clues you have to build your confidence before making a move.

8. Buy Him A Drink

If you find an attractive guy and want to make a confident move, you can buy him a drink or ask him directly to buy him another one. This shows confidence, and at the very least, will gain his respect. Remember, there's nothing wrong with expressing that you find someone attractive. The worst that can happen is that he's flattered but not interested in a date.

9. Don't Overthink It

Being open to the possibility of rejection is a difficult mindset to adopt but can be beneficial in dating. Instead of wasting time overthinking and fearing rejection, it is better to approach a potential romantic interest without any expectations. If you can avoid feeling like you have everything to lose, it will make the interaction less intense and may increase the chances of success. Additionally, if the other person can sense that your approach is based on intense feelings, it may make them uncomfortable or intimidated, even if they have an interest in you.

10. Be Straightforward

Feeling awkward is a mental state, not a physical one. If you approach a guy you're interested in with confidence and ask him out, you are more likely to have success. His attraction to your assertiveness will likely overcome any hesitation he may have. The more self-assured you appear, the more likely he is to accept your invitation.

What Should You Do When You Hang Out With A Guy You Like?

When a guy expresses interest in spending time together, it is important to plan an activity that is both casual and enjoyable. This will allow for a comfortable setting to get to know each other better. Some examples could be: going for a walk, having a coffee, or going to a park.

1. Grab Some Coffee

Coffee is a great relaxed alternative for a first hang out with someone, which is less formal than going for drinks. Meeting up at a popular coffee chain or a local independent cafe provides a setting for both caffeine and conversation.

2. Go Bowling

If you haven't gone bowling in a while, it can be a fun and casual activity to suggest for a date. The competitive aspect can make for a lively and entertaining experience. Having food and drinks between frames also offers natural breaks in the conversation. The activity in itself can provide a steady flow of conversation, so you don't have to worry about awkward silences.

3. Check Out A New Restaurant In Town

If you and your date share a love for good food, trying out a new restaurant that everyone is raving about or one that you've been wanting to visit can be a great activity. Even if the food doesn't live up to the hype, you can bond over the experience.

4. Try Karaoke

This idea is for those who are outgoing and willing to try something unique, going to a karaoke night or even singing at home with a karaoke app and showing off your singing skills is a great way to demonstrate confidence and showcase that you are a fun person to be around. It can break the ice and is a fun way to express yourself.

5. Hit Up The Farmer's Market

Going to a farmer's market on a nice day is a casual and fun activity. You can buy some fresh produce and baked goods, then take a walk around the market, if it's near a park you both can sit on a bench and have a conversation before parting ways.

6. Catch A Sports Match

Attending a sporting event together can be a fun activity for a first hang out with someone you're interested in, as most guys are likely to enjoy watching sports. This activity can be a shared interest if you are a sports fan as well, as you both can enjoy cheering for the team together.

7. Attend A Street Fair

A street fair can be a great option for a casual date, as it offers a variety of food options and activities to enjoy together. The casual atmosphere allows for easy conversation as you walk around and try different things. Sharing dishes can also foster a sense of closeness. If the fair has rides, it can add an extra fun element to the date, by going on one of the rides together.

8. Go To An Art Museum

Hanging out with a guy at an art museum might not sound exciting, but it's a great way to show your cultural interest and can also expose you both to thought-provoking works of art. Not all museums are focused on classical art, you can find museums on various topics, do some research and find a museum that interests you both.

9. See One Of Your Favorite Bands In Concert

Sharing a common interest in music, especially live music, can be a great way to bond with someone. If the opportunity arises and you both discussed a favorite musician who is going to perform nearby, it can be an excellent idea to purchase tickets and attend the concert together.