Having lunch with a guy you have romantic interests in can be a relaxed yet productive way to bond and understand each other better. However, if he hasn't made the invitation or if you're willing to initiate, it's important to know how to ask him out for lunch smoothly. To make this process easier for you, we've come up with a few suggestions that we believe will make the experience more seamless and successful.
Text If You Feel Uncomfortable
The dating scene in the digital age is heavily reliant on technology, making face-to-face interactions challenging. If you have mostly communicated through text messages and haven't spent much time together, texting is a low-stakes way to invite him for lunch and gauge each other's interest.
Choose a time that is near lunchtime, but not too close to it. For instance, scheduling it an hour or two before lunch (e.g., 10:00) is a good option. This gives him sufficient time to respond to your text, arrange plans with you, and determine a location. Additionally, it allows you to attend to your work or school responsibilities promptly. Consider phrasing it something like this:
- "Hi, do you have any plans? I'm craving some food and would love to have your company!"
- "I'm thinking of getting lunch soon, care to join me?"
- "I'll be in your area this afternoon, how about we grab a quick bite to eat?"
Texting is convenient as it allows you to send the invitation without immediate pressure for a response. Avoid letting the desire for an immediate reply lead to frustration. It's natural to want an answer right away, but that's not always possible. Therefore, don't take it to heart if there's a delay in the response.
It's equally important not to take it as rejection if he's unable to meet with you that day. Analyze his response through his text message. Does he propose an alternative day? Or does he seem genuinely disappointed? Understanding his reaction can make it easier for you to plan another invitation in the future.
Bring Up A Fun New Lunch Destination
New dining establishments continuously emerge and often attract new customers. They also present a perfect opportunity for you to invite your guy for lunch. Mention the situation casually and let him know about a recently opened restaurant that you would like to explore.
Mention it during a casual conversation and express your interest in visiting the restaurant either that day or in the near future. Occasionally, you may encounter a guy who is eager to spend time with you and might even offer to join you without you having to directly ask. This scenario would be a win-win for both of you. If he's shy, here are a few ways to extend the invitation:
- "Have you heard about the opening of a new pizza place? Let's give it a try!"
- "There's a new Chinese restaurant in town that I've heard great things about, want to give it a try?"
- "I'm planning to visit the new bagel shop downtown, care to join me?"
- "If you're free, let's explore the new taco food truck together!"
Take The Lead For A More Aggressive Approach
If you feel confident or can portray confidence, here's a playful suggestion. Instead of asking him out for lunch, inform him that the two of you will be going out together. This bold approach requires a touch of humor, wit, and a flirty demeanor. Give him a flirty smile and wink when you say something like:
- "When will you be the fortunate one to take me out for lunch?"
- "We have a lunch date tomorrow, make sure to mark your calendar!"
- "I'll treat you to lunch tomorrow, you can thank me later."
- "Let's stop wasting time and finally go out for lunch together."
- "Do you like Chinese food? Great, because we're having it tomorrow."
Many men are often drawn to a confident and straightforward approach. In simpler terms, they appreciate it when you take charge of arranging the date, removing any uncertainty for them. They are aware of your interest and appreciate that you have made the first move by asking them out.
It's worth noting that this strategy may not always be successful. Some men may have a macho attitude that makes it challenging for them to accept a woman who is assertive. However, if you try this approach and it doesn't work, it's likely that he was not the right person for you. In that case, it's better to move on and find someone who appreciates your approach.
Ask For Advice: And Do Lunch Together
Many men enjoy being seen as reliable problem-solvers, so utilizing this trait can be an effective way to get them to agree to lunch. By approaching him and requesting his advice on a matter, you tap into his desire to be the dependable guy. You can suggest meeting up for lunch and use the following phrases:
- "I've been having a tough time today and could really use your support. Would you be available for lunch?"
- "I could really use your perspective on something. Could we grab lunch together?"
- "I would really appreciate your advice on a situation at work. Would you be open to joining me for lunch if I treat?"
However, it's important to avoid fabricating an issue just to grab his attention. Most people have genuine concerns and matters they would like to discuss. Asking for his advice and inviting him to lunch showcases your trust in him and provides an opportunity to address these concerns.
Use An Out-of-Context Icebreaker
Avoid letting fear or nervousness prevent you from making a smooth attempt at asking the guy out for lunch. Incorporate your invitation into a casual conversation about a shared interest. This can be easier than you expect. During the conversation, wait for a natural break and ask him to join you for lunch. Here's an example of this approach:
You: "That latest episode of Walking Dead was fantastic!"
Him: "Definitely! I wasn't expecting that twist at all."
You: "Me neither! Speaking of food, I'm craving some pizza now."
Him: "I love pizza too! What do you think about getting some for lunch?"
You: "That sounds like a great idea. Let's go grab some."
A subtle and playful conversation like this can make asking the guy out for lunch a less intimidating experience. Instead of coming across as formal or forced, you can make it seem lighthearted, friendly, and casual. This approach doesn't have to diminish the significance of the experience. When executed correctly, it can foster deeper emotional connections and provide an opportunity to get to know your guy better.
Just Ask: It's Easier Than You'd Think
Finally, a straightforward approach could be to directly ask him to join you for lunch. While it may seem simple in theory, our emotions and nervousness can often make the situation feel more complicated. Nonetheless, being direct can still be an effective method.
How to approach the situation? You have the option to either send him a text or ask him face-to-face.
- "Would you like to grab lunch tomorrow?"
- "Hi! Let's have lunch today and I'll treat you."
- "We've been flirting for a while, let's just make it happen."
- "I'm excited to see you for lunch later today."
That's all there is to it! Does this seem boring or unimpressive? Do you feel like you need to do something extraordinary to get his attention and maintain it? If he is interested in going out with you, you already have his attention.
Is It Ok To Ask A Guy To Lunch?
Traditional dating norms may suggest that the man should initiate the first date. However, these guidelines are becoming less prevalent. Nowadays, it's completely acceptable, and even preferred, for a woman to ask a man out for lunch. Many men are drawn to a woman who takes the initiative.
This ultimately depends on the man you're interested in dating. Some men may prefer to stick to traditional dating norms and may feel uncomfortable if you make the first move. To avoid any awkward situations, it's important to assess your guy's dating preferences before asking him out for lunch.
You Got This!
Inviting your guy to lunch is a great way to break the ice and have a fun time getting to know each other. This could also lead to new and exciting experiences together, such as fun activities and exciting dining opportunities. It just requires a bit of courage and the willingness to take a risk.