How To Ask A Guy If He's Single (Over Text And In Person Without Being Obvious)

Many of us have faced this predicament: you're in the company of a man or have feelings for him, but you're unsure of his relationship status. There's no wedding band in sight, but he might be in a relationship or just not fond of wearing jewelry. Asking if he's single may seem like an easy solution, but you don't want to come across as too forward or eager.

Fortunately, there are subtle ways to inquire about his relationship status. This guide will cover simple text messages you can send to gauge his availability and how to ask him face-to-face. You can never predict when the opportunity to ask will arise or when you'll muster up the bravery to do so. So keep these questions and scenarios in mind to be ready when the moment presents itself.


Texting is an ideal channel for posing potentially awkward questions. It enables you to send a brief message in a secure environment, even if it might appear strange or silly. While there are various methods of texting a man to determine his relationship status, we'll focus on two of the most frequently used. These everyday conversations and inquiries make the situation more manageable.

Talk About Romantic Things

We're not suggesting you ask a guy about his preferred sexual position or anything equally apparent. Instead, you can bring up a romantic topic that you would discuss with a friend. Some examples of questions you could ask include:

- "What's your opinion on someone who arrives late for a first date?"

- "My parents are planning a romantic trip to Hawaii. Would you ever do something like that?"

- "The sunrise was stunning this morning! Have you ever watched it rise with a partner?"

- "Do you have any exciting vacation plans?"

In order to determine a guy's relationship status, it is helpful to ask questions that naturally bring up the topic. For example, asking about his first date with his girlfriend or their summer vacation plans. To avoid appearing desperate or obvious, be sure to pose these questions in a conversational manner.

Holiday Questions

A clever way to determine a guy's relationship status is to inquire about his plans for an upcoming holiday. He will likely share any plans he has with his partner, and if he is single, that will become evident. A few examples of questions to ask include:

- "Are you making any big plans for Thanksgiving? Will you be visiting your family?"

- "The Christmas season is approaching! Have you made any exciting or family-oriented plans?"

- "Eek, Valentine's Day is nearly here! Do you dislike that day as much as I do?"

- "Do you have any thrilling Halloween party plans this year?"

When talking about holiday plans, a man in a relationship will likely mention his partner, such as "my girlfriend/boyfriend and I are going to my parents' house this year for Christmas" or "spending another Valentine's Day eating pizza at home alone!" This will give you a quick insight into his dating status.

Other Texts You Can Send

- "I recently went on an awful Tinder date. Can you share your worst experience with online dating?"

- "Have you ever utilized dating apps in the past?"

- "In your opinion, what's the most straightforward way to meet someone?"

- "Do you anticipate tying the knot in the near future?"

- "What qualities do you believe are necessary to be considered a good person?"


When asking a guy about his dating status in person, it is important to approach the topic in a tactful way. While this may be a bit awkward, the right question can lead to a successful conversation. A few options that may work well include:

Ask About Weekend Plans

The weekend is frequently a romantic period for individuals in relationships. Hence, inquiring about a guy's plans for the weekend can give insight into his romantic life. Here are a few suggestions to approach the situation:

- "Got any big plans for the weekend?"

- "I'm heading to the movies this Saturday, would you like to join?"

- "My weekend is unoccupied, what about yours?"

- "Doing anything fun or romantic this weekend?"

Although the last question may seem overt, it can be easily passed off as an honest mistake in case he is not dating anyone. It also conveys your interest in a subtle way. In the event he does have a partner, he'll likely understand that you were aware of the relationship and won't take offense.

Talk About Your Dating Situation

A compelling strategy for many women is to start by acknowledging their single status. This statement should come out naturally during your conversation and feel genuine. Additionally, it should serve as a segue to inquiring about the guy's relationship status. This method is effective as it reveals your own status, makes you more vulnerable to him, and increases the likelihood of him sharing his status as well. A few statements and questions you can make include:

- "Oh, I've been single for a while now but I wouldn't mind dating in the future. What about you?"

- "I had a tough relationship and needed time to heal. Have you ever had to do something like that?"

- "I chose to stay single before starting my new job. Does that help you during significant changes?"

You should steer clear of asking questions such as "do you know anyone I can date?" as it sends mixed signals. You are letting him know that you are single, which is good. However, by inquiring about other guys instead of him, you are putting him in the friend zone. Therefore, keep your questions and statements straightforward without causing confusion.


Inquiring about someone's relationship status can be a delicate matter, similar to asking about their religious or political beliefs. It depends on the individual and their comfort level with personal questions. Some may respond candidly without feeling affronted, while others may perceive it as an intrusive inquiry, even if they are attracted to you. Thus, the best approach is to gauge the sensitivity of the person you're inquiring about.

To err on the side of caution, it is advisable to use subtle methods or gather information from other sources. Social media platforms, such as Facebook, provide a useful tool to discreetly research someone's relationship status. First, check their profile to see if they have specified their dating status. Keep in mind that the absence of this information doesn't automatically mean they are single, they could just be private. Next, examine their photos to see if they have a partner or someone who appears to be a partner.

These steps can simplify the research process, and should aid in determining your level of interest. If social media doesn't yield much information, utilize the previously mentioned tips to get an answer. You mainly want to figure out their relationship status if they exhibit signs of interest, such as spending time with you, flirting, or even inviting you to their place.

Patience Is A Virtue

If you're curious about a guy's relationship status and are unsure if he's single, be patient and observe the situation. He may reveal his status if you don't ask or if the information is revealed through other means. However, if he makes it clear that he is single, or explains his living situation, such as sharing a home with his ex, without you asking, it may indicate a strong interest on his part.