How To Ask A Guy About His Intentions Without Scaring Him (7 Ways)

If you're seeking guidance on how to inquire about a guy's intentions without making him feel uneasy, you've come to the right place. We have compiled a list of 7 questions you can ask him, along with all the important details to consider while bringing up the topic. Let's dive in!


One of the difficulties of discovering a guy's intentions is avoiding frightening him. No one likes to feel pressured, particularly at the beginning of a relationship.

Nonetheless, it's frustrating to be in the dark about one's status with a man you have a long-term interest in. To help you get a better understanding of where his head is, we have listed some questions that will provide insight without being too aggressive.

1. What Are You Looking For At The Moment?

This question might seem scary at first, but it's actually a great one to ask on a first date. People tend to be more truthful on the first date because they are not emotionally invested in the person sitting across from them yet.

When asking this question, make sure you approach it with openness and a non-threatening tone. Additionally, allow him to answer first. Avoid leading with something like, "I'm looking for a serious relationship, are you?"

2. What Is The Number One Priority In Your Life?

When posed in this manner, the question usually comes across as sincere and non-threatening. People enjoy answering questions about themselves that show genuine interest.

By asking this question, you can determine what he values most. If he mentions family and relationships, you'll know that he values the people in his life.

After he answers, follow up with another question, "Why?" to delve deeper into his thoughts.

3. Describe Where You See Yourself In Five Years.

The statement, although not in the form of a question, can initiate a meaningful discussion about the future between both parties. It serves as an intriguing conversational starter.

By examining his answers to this topic, you can gain insight into his current perspective on relationships and what he is seeking. If his responses are primarily focused on his career, travel plans, or other life goals that don't include marriage and family, it's a sign that he may not be considering a long-term commitment at this time.

4. Do You See Yourself Getting Married Someday?

When asking this question, it's straightforward, and there's no mistaking your intentions. However, you can make it clear that you are not asking with the intention of tying him down, but rather to get to know him and understand his vision for his life.

To effectively ask this question, it's essential to be honest and open about your motivations. Otherwise, the person may feel uneasy and become defensive.

5. Do You Want A Partner To Commit To You?

This question is an excellent way to gauge a person's intentions in a relationship as it asks about his desired outcome in a relationship, instead of assuming or projecting your own needs.

If he doesn't have a desire for commitment, it suggests that he is not looking to commit to someone else.

6. Are Most Of Your Friends Singled Or Coupled Up?

Studies have shown that men who spend a significant amount of time with other single men are less likely to be seeking a marriage or long-term relationship.

Conversely, if a man has a large social circle that includes several couples, it could indicate that he would like to have a committed relationship in the future.

7. When Do You Feel Someone Is Ready For Marriage?

This question is appropriate to ask during a candid discussion about marriage and relationships, particularly as they relate to other people.

When discussing a relationship, your partner may be willing to openly answer questions about his intentions. He may understand that you are simply seeking to understand where he stands.


If you are eager to directly address the issue, consider confronting your partner about his intentions.

If you've been in a relationship with a man for some time, but it feels like it's not progressing, it might be a good idea to clarify your own goals and get a better understanding of your partner's plans.

If you're tired of beating around the bush and want to get straight to the point, try these go-to questions to determine a guy's true intentions. The questions from the previous section may be more nuanced, but these will give you a straightforward answer.

Do Your Long-term Plans Include Me?

You may eventually have to ask a man directly if he sees you as a part of his long-term plans. To increase the chances of receiving an honest answer, make it clear that there is no right or wrong answer to the question.

Most people don't enter into relationships with the intention of hurting others. If they feel safe, they will be honest about their long-term plans when directly asked.

Where Do You See Our Relationship Going In The Future?

If your partner confirms that he sees you as a part of his long-term plans, a next step could be asking him to specify what he envisions for the future of your relationship.

It may come as a surprise, but some individuals desire long-term relationships but not necessarily marriage. They may view a marriage license as merely a piece of paper. If your partner holds this perspective, it is important to be aware of it.

What Do You Want From Our Relationship?

This is the most direct approach to understanding a man's true intentions. If he is seeking a companion for adventures, he may be an excellent partner but not necessarily someone who is ready for a long-term commitment or marriage.

Committing to a full-time relationship is best when your partner shares your love for adventures.


There is no definitive answer as to when love and passion become apparent in a relationship. Some couples experience it early on while others have a "slow burn."

Certain signs may indicate it's time to ask about a guy's intentions, such as:

- Both partners using the "L word"

- Knowing your priority in his life

- Spending most of your time together by default

- Meeting each other's close friends and family

- Living together

The right time to ask about intentions depends on your own timeline. If you're eager to settle down and start a family, it's appropriate to assert yourself and find out what your guy's intentions are.

On the other hand, if you're content with just enjoying the relationship, let it develop naturally. You'll find that when a man knows what he wants, he'll often initiate these questions himself.