How To Ask A Guy About His Feelings Towards You (In-Person & Via Text)

Unsure of how to broach the topic of his feelings towards you? This guide offers advice on how to ask in person and through text message, so you can gain the clarity you desire.

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There are various strategies you can adopt to facilitate a more comfortable and open discussion with a guy. The following are a few suggestions for initiating emotional conversations in person:

Share Your Own Feelings First

You can initiate the conversation by being candid about your emotions and expectations. This can foster trust and demonstrate your openness and willingness to be truthful about your feelings. Avoiding discussions or concealing emotions can lead to negative outcomes and may harm the relationship.

You can say something like this:

"I sense that our relationship has been intensifying lately, and I want to ensure that you feel at ease with its progression."

Choose the Right Time and Place

Avoid initiating emotional discussions at the conclusion of a hectic day. If he has had a challenging time, it may be difficult for him to be receptive to discussing emotions. Instead, schedule a private, uninterrupted moment together to have the conversation. This will allow him to concentrate and fully engage in the discussion.

Ensure that you have a private setting where you won't be disturbed. Having an emotional conversation in a public space may make it difficult for him to express his emotions freely.

You can say something like this:

"After such a demanding day, how about we grab some coffee and have a chat?"

Be Direct

Men typically prefer to avoid being put in the position of having to guess what someone wants from them. If you are vague or unclear in your request for them to open up about their emotions, they may struggle to understand how to respond. For this reason, it is important to be straightforward and unambiguous about your goals and expectations, making it easier for him to engage in the conversation.

You can say something like this:

"I aspire to have a deeper understanding of you and believe that being transparent about our emotions is crucial."

Be an Active Listener

Active listening is an effective technique to inspire someone to express themselves. As you listen, use gestures such as nodding your head or providing nonverbal cues to demonstrate that you are attentively listening and absorbing what is being shared.

If the relationship is strong enough, physical gestures such as holding his hand or providing a comforting touch to his back can communicate your support and affection. This can create a sense of comfort and ease, making it easier for him to open up emotionally.

You can say something like this:

"I appreciate your sharing your thoughts with me. I am eager to assist in any way I can and am always available to listen."

Be Understanding

Regardless of the approach or outcome of the conversation, it is important to keep in mind that discussing emotions can be challenging. It is essential to show empathy and understanding when someone trusts you with their feelings. Hold off on offering opinions, proposing solutions, or expressing your thoughts for the time being. The priority should be ensuring that he feels heard and validated in the moment.

You can say something like this:

"I am sorry for what you experienced. I am grateful that you felt comfortable enough to confide in me."

Ask Good Questions

Avoid overwhelming him with an excessive amount of questions and expecting all the information to be shared in a single session. Instead, pose open-ended questions that encourage his involvement in the conversation.

You can say something like this:

"Can you tell me about the point at which you first became aware of this?"

Show Gratitude and Appreciation

Another approach to fostering emotional discussions is by exhibiting gratitude and showing appreciation for him. This involves acknowledging his efforts, expressing thanks when he performs acts of kindness or thoughtfulness, and conveying to him the significance of his presence in your life.

You can say something like this:

"I am grateful that you felt comfortable enough to share with me. Your trust means a great deal to me."


If you're not prepared to have a face-to-face conversation, you can express your emotions through text. Here are some tips to keep in mind:

Keep It Simple

Text communication can often result in misinterpretation. It is easy to misunderstand the message or believe it has a different intent. To avoid confusion, it is best to keep the message straightforward and clear.

You can text something like this:

"I'm curious about your feelings towards me. Do you think we're on the right track?"

Make Sure He's Available

Before sending a text message to initiate a conversation, it is important to consider if the recipient is in an environment conducive to a meaningful exchange. If they are in the middle of an important task, such as work or spending time with friends, it may not be the best moment for a conversation. Ensure that they are in a peaceful setting and have ample time to respond before sending your message.

Hi there, are you free for a quick chat now? I would like to talk to you for the next 10 to 15 minutes.

You can text something like this:

"Hi! Is now a good time for us to chat for a bit? I have something important I'd like to discuss with you. If not, could you let me know when would be a good time for you?"

Avoid Clichés

Instead of using cliché expressions, try to clearly express your emotions with descriptive words. This way, he will have a better understanding of how you truly feel about him.

You can text something like this:

"I feel nervous when I'm near you. Can we have a clear understanding of where we stand with each other?"

Listen First

Before you reply to his text, wait for him to send a few more messages. This provides the opportunity for him to fully express himself without feeling rushed or pressured by your immediate response. When he does respond, listen attentively and provide feedback that demonstrates you are engaged and connecting with what he has shared.

You can text something like this:

"Got it, thank you for explaining. I now comprehend your point."

Be Patient

If you initiate the conversation by sending him a message and do not receive an immediate reply, refrain from sending another message. Exercise patience and wait for his response, giving him several hours or even a few days before reaching out again.

In the event that the conversations don't progress as expected, avoid taking it to heart. It is possible that he may be struggling with opening up due to trust issues that impact his willingness to fully express himself. Keep in mind to be compassionate and provide him with the necessary time to reflect on your words.

You can text something like this:

"It's been a while and I wanted to see how you're doing. Let's catch up soon!"


Begin by reaching out to him and confirming that he is in a stable or upbeat mood.

Then, inform him that you would like to have an honest and transparent discussion regarding the status of your relationship and if his feelings towards you have undergone any changes since your last interaction. Brace yourself for any response he may give and avoid attempting to steer the conversation or rush him to answer.

Once you have both discussed the situation and the emotions that arose during the conversation, allocate some time for yourself to reflect on his response. Avoid making any impulsive decisions, allow the information to settle, and then determine your next steps.


It can be challenging to decipher mixed signals from a guy, leaving us uncertain about his feelings towards us. A bold and effective way to clarify things is by openly expressing your own feelings towards him, whether in person or through a text message.

Initially, inform him of your romantic feelings towards him and express your desire to explore their potential. Afterwards, inquire about his feelings towards you and his perspective on the relationship.

In the event that he appears perplexed or states that he is unable to respond to your inquiry, it's likely because he is still evaluating his own feelings towards you.

Ensure to be understanding and allow some time for him to come to a conclusion, but also establish a timeframe for when you would like to receive an answer. For instance, you could give him a week or two after your discussion to determine his feelings, and if he still cannot give you a clear response, you may have to inform him that you require more certainty or consider moving on.


It's possible that a guy may be grappling with his feelings towards you if he doesn't give you enough attention, consistently prioritizes spending time with his friends or family over you, or frequently provides reasons for not spending time together.

Additionally, you may observe that he finds it challenging to be intimate and open when you are on a date together.

He may exhibit inconsistent behavior, alternately displaying affection and then withdrawing it, appearing arbitrary and inexplicable from the outside. However, this is a strong indication that he is conflicted with his emotions internally.

If you observe that a guy is battling his emotions, offering your support is the most helpful action you can take. Express to him that you are there for him and try to form an emotional connection with him, as this will make progress smoother.


It's possible that a guy who repeatedly offers excuses or lies about his emotions is doing so because he is concerned that you may not share them. He might be trying to avoid getting hurt by misleading you or fearing the consequences of revealing his true feelings.

It's also feasible that a man might be lying to guard his self-esteem. He might sense a discrepancy between his feelings and yours, leading him to fabricate his level of interest in a relationship.

Regardless of the reason, it's crucial to express your feelings towards him clearly and honestly to avoid any misunderstandings or confusion about your emotions.


When seeking clarification about a guy's feelings, the most effective way to gain insight into his emotions is through open communication, whether in person or through text. When faced with inconsistent or perplexing signals, it's important to be straightforward about your own feelings towards him.

If he's not responding to your emotions as you would expect, don't attempt to alter his perspective by trying to persuade him otherwise. Instead, be understanding and provide him with the time he needs to come to terms with his feelings, while also being mindful of your own needs.

Engaging in discussions that foster emotional intelligence is crucial for personal growth and deeper connections. Although opening up and inquiring about your partner's feelings may be difficult, it will fortify your bond and enhance your self-assurance.