There's nothing better than loving yourself. Unfortunately, most of us are taught that others always come first… or at least I was.
I had a hard time coming to grips with the fact that I need to love myself first. Before loving anyone else, before allowing anyone else to love me. I needed to be my own savior.
And so my journey of self-love began.
I can't say I struggled a lot with this one. Being alone is something I love and those are the moments I cherish. Even now, when I have a family, alone time is precious and important to me.
However, this doesn't just mean having an hour or two a day alone. This also means being alone - meaning, without a partner - for longer periods of time.
I had to learn to like myself even if I wasn't validated by a romantic relationship. I had to learn to actually spend that time being alone, enjoying who I am. See, many women spend their alone time searching for a partner. And in the past I was guilty of this too.
But then I had to be true to myself and stop searching for someone to fill my time with. I had to find myself.
Caring what other people think of me was one of the biggest staples of my personality, even though I'd never admit it (okay, except now). But yes, I did care. Too much, I might add.
And it hurt me a lot, because people are not always going to like how you look, what you say and what you do. However, this doesn't mean that who you are should change.
I struggled with that - I still do at times.
But I'm learning to let go. I'm learning not to care what people have to say about my life. I like who I am and I'm comfortable in my skin. Other people cannot hurt me because I made them powerless.
What Self-Love Really Means
Many people would say that loving yourself means being cold to others. That it means feeling superior to everyone else. However, that's not what it is at all.
Loving yourself means that you believe in yourself, that you know who you are. You know what you deserve and what kind of love you deserve from others. You care about other people but you are not willing to place their needs ahead of your own.
It means that you are working on yourself and that you are improving every day.
Self-love also means that you will not let other people demolish your confidence or rock your dreams. No one will dictate how you see yourself.
Healing Through Self-Love
Loving myself helped me heal. It helped me realize that I'm strong and that I hold the power and control over my life. It made me happy to be me and happy to be alive. I have decided that nothing can hurt me enough to make my heart harden, that nothing can break me. I realized that my scars make me beautiful.
Above all, loving myself made me realize that I will always have me. And I can conquer anything.