When you're infatuated with someone, it can feel like an intense and enduring emotion. If there is potential for a relationship to develop, this can be enjoyable. On the other hand, if there is no chance of a relationship, having strong feelings for someone can feel like a heavy burden. So, what's the duration of a crush?
How Long You Can Expect Your Crushes To Last
How long do crushes usually last? There is a common belief that if a crush lasts more than four months, it means the person is in love. However, this is not necessarily true. Crushes can vary in duration, lasting shorter or longer than four months. Dr. Funke Baffour-Awuah, a psychologist, explains that crushes occur when a person projects desirable qualities onto someone else. According to Dr. Funke, the attraction stage, or what is commonly referred to as a "crush," is characterized by the production of hormones that drive a person to form a connection with their crush. If these feelings do not deepen, the attraction will not last long. When a crush persists for more than four months, it does not necessarily indicate that the relationship will be successful; it simply means that the brain is still producing hormones that desire a connection with the crush.
How To Make A Move On Your Crush
1. Remember, They're Only Human
It can be intimidating to approach someone you have a crush on, especially when you have built them up in your mind as being perfect. However, it's important to remember that they are just a normal person, despite any idealized qualities you may have attributed to them. As Dr. Funke mentioned, crushes are often characterized by the projection of ideal traits onto another person. So try not to be too intimidated - they are just like you.
2. Make Your Presence Known
It can be frustrating to have a crush on someone unaware of your feelings, but it is possible to make a connection if you take the initiative. Try introducing yourself and making an effort to say hello whenever you see them. You can also follow them on social media and interact with their posts, but be mindful not to be too pushy or make them feel uncomfortable. The key is to be confident and put your best foot forward.
3. Get Talking
Find some common ground and bring it up in conversation. If you already know them or follow them on social media, you probably already have some idea of what they like. If you have a similar music taste, you can ask them about an artist's recent release. Anything you have in common is a great place to start and could spark something bigger. We usually have crushes on people we relate to anyway, so there could be potential for building something that could last.
4. Drop Some Hints
To show your interest in your crush, consider dropping hints, giving compliments, and flirting subtly. It's important to be friendly and make it clear that you are interested in more than just a platonic relationship, but try not to be too forward or pushy. If your feelings aren't reciprocated, you may feel embarrassed, so it's best to be cautious and respectful of their boundaries.
5. Ask Them Out
If you have been flirting with someone and they have responded positively, it is likely that they are interested in you or would like to get to know you better. It is okay to ask them to spend time together and see what happens. You don't have anything to lose by taking this chance.
How To Get Over Your Crush When It's Not Going To Happen
1. Allow Yourself To Mourn What Didn't Happen
It's understandable to feel disappointed when things don't work out with your crush, especially if they are already in a relationship or don't reciprocate your feelings. It's completely normal to feel hurt in these situations. Allow yourself to process these emotions and move on in your own time.
2. Be Patient
Having a crush doesn't simply go away because you want it to. It's okay to still think about the person or feel nervous around them, even if you're tired of these feelings. Allow things to progress naturally and don't put pressure on yourself. If the relationship is meant to happen, there is no rush.
3. Stop Looking At Them
It can be difficult to move on from someone if you see them constantly through social media updates or in person. One way to help with this is to mute or unfollow them on social media, as well as avoid places where you know they frequent. This can give you some space and time to start the healing process.
4. Have Some Me Time
Even if your crush isn't able to show you affection, it's important to take care of yourself. When we have crushes, it's easy to focus all of our attention on them and neglect our own needs. This is a good chance to focus on yourself and do things that make you happy, such as attending events you've been wanting to go to or treating yourself to something nice.
5. Let It Out
Suppressing your feelings won't benefit you in the long run. Try talking to friends over coffee about your feelings, or consider writing about them in a journal. Sometimes, simply expressing your emotions can be therapeutic.
6. Put Yourself Out There
Remember that there are many other potential partners out there. One way to move on from your crush is to make an effort to meet new people. Sometimes, rejection can lead to new opportunities, and even if that doesn't happen, getting to know new people can boost your self-confidence. Keep an open mind and try not to get too hung up on one person.
7. Know Your Worth
We can't always choose who we develop feelings for, and our crushes can't control whether they have feelings for us as well. If your crush doesn't return your feelings, it doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you. Everyone has their preferences and it's natural for people to be attracted to different types of people. It's important to remember that not being someone's type does not diminish your worth or attractiveness.
8. Remember, Crushes Are Only Temporary
Crushes don't last forever. While it's hard now, the crush won't matter in a few years. You might not even remember you had a crush on that person in the first place, or you might look back at the whole ordeal and laugh. It's not the end of the world, and it's only a tiny dent in your overall life story.