Many people wonder how a narcissist makes love seem genuine, even though they only care about themselves. The simple truth is that they make use of love bombs.
You may never have heard of this phrase before, but you have probably experienced it. So, let me start by telling you something about it.
How A Narcissist Makes Love Seem Genuine Using Love Bombs
When someone love bombs you, they give you endless and lavish attention until you feel that your life is as good as it could ever be, but in a dreamy, too-good-to-be-true kind of way.
In a normal relationship, affection is usually based on genuine feelings. But with a narcissist, affection is one of the most powerful tricks that can reel you in as a hapless victim into a toxic relationship.
When you are getting love bombed by a narcissist, you will be put on a pedestal and you will feel you are on top of the world. And you will have a hard time holding back your feelings for him and will often end up giving him all your heart.
That is why you can feel so much love from a narcissist. Unfortunately, none of it is real, although it can feel so genuine.
You will be promised the world, get lots of attention, be spoiled, and enjoy lots of pampering and loving at the hands of this crafty and self-absorbed wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Why The Narcissist Doesn’t Truly Love You
Deep down, your narcissistic husband or wife has crippling insecurities and very low self-esteem. However, the one thing they will let no one know is how vulnerable they are.
Based on this insecurity, the person will go to extreme lengths to make you feel loved, at least when you first meet.
But the unfortunate truth is that although a narcissist can show you love, they can’t comprehend it. It doesn’t really make much sense to them because it’s an emotion they cannot feel for anyone, even themselves.
They just see it as a means to an end, and they love bomb you to warm you up to their advances and manipulations. They want to get you high on love and make you feel happy and wonderful before they introduce you to their ugly personalities.
A narcissist is very insecure and empty, and they thrive on the continuous assurance that they are the best. They also know the best way to get lots of this attention is to make someone fall in love with them and think the world of them.
However, your happiness is not a priority for your narcissistic partner.
In fact, it works against their ultimate intentions towards you. At the end of the day, a narcissist wants a servant who will be at their every beck and call. They want you to feel worse about yourself than they do about themselves.
So, as soon as you trust and love a narcissist, they will tear everything you treasure down to make sure you feel completely worthless. That usually marks the beginning of your toxic codependent relationship with your nightmare of a partner.
Here’s How Love From A Narcissist Feels Like
The ultimate tell that you are getting love from a narcissist is the love bomb.
A narcissistic partner will make sure you get endless compliments, lots of expensive gifts, many sweet words, countless PDAs, and pampering treatment.
In their “loving,” narcissists go overboard because they are doing it for a while before they go in for the kill.
At first, you will think your partner is just silly because they are so into you, and you might put up with it and even feel grateful that you have someone who adores you so much.
But there is one thing you should always keep in mind: a narcissist only loves you for a limited time. When you first start dating, you will feel and see the love in all its forms. But know that this passion is simply an investment.
Eventually, you will pay for it many times over with the misery the narcissist will bring into your life.
To a narcissist, a relationship is a transaction. So, making you feel love is just one of the investments they make in exchange for your unhealthy reliance on them when they finally show you their true colors.
What Does Real Love Feel Like?
First of all, you will always feel comfortable around each other. More importantly, you will have something of a friendship between you because you will accept each other so well and have the willingness to see past your flaws and focus on growing together.
Similarly, your love will grow stronger as time goes by, and you will feel loved and supported in the relationship. If you don’t experience any of this, you might be dealing with a covert narcissist.
Real love involves a genuine desire to want the very best for your partner. And any kind and loving gesture you show the person you love will be unconditional.
Narcissists are not capable of love because what they care about the most is making themselves feel better. These people can’t even love themselves, which is another way of saying they don’t even understand the concept of love.
They understand the textbook definition of love, and they know what kind of actions can be interpreted as love only in theory. Narcissists don’t feel the emotions that go with these loving gestures as is usually the case with normal and loving partners.
So, that’s how a narcissist makes love seem genuine: through the use of love bombs.
But know that a narcissist’s love means nothing to them unless it makes you a slave to their unhealthy demands. So, learn to recognize true love and how it differs from the self-serving narcissistic love and you will save yourself from a toxic relationship.