There are all types of people around these days, but there are some types that most of us would rather not have dealings with if we can help it. One of these is the narcissist – a type of person that is known for undesirable qualities such as self-obsession, control, intimidation, and manipulation among other things. However, how can you avoid having a narcissist in your life if you cannot spot them?
The classic narcissist is generally pretty easy to spot because the personality traits outlined above. However, you must remember that there are also other types of narcissists, one of which is the covert narcissist. Unfortunately, they are more difficult to spot, and you may well allow one into your life without realising what they are. So, in this article, we will look at ways in which you can identify a covert narcissist.
What Signs to Look For
Knowing what signs to look for will make it easier for you to spot a covert narcissist. Remember, these people are very skilled when it comes to hiding their narcissistic personality but if you know what to look for, identifying them becomes far easier. Some signs to look out for include:
They Hate Criticism
One thing you will notice about someone who is a covert narcissist is that they find it very difficult to take criticism. They do not tend to speak out about the criticism and will often bit their lip and just take it. However, underneath, they will be dwelling on it and simmering because they simply hate to be criticized in any way.
They Observe Instead of Listen
You may find that when you talk to a covert narcissist, they appear to be very good listeners. Unlike the classic variation, they won’t talk over you to twist the conversation around so that it is about them. Instead, they will come across as being attentive. However, what they are actually doing is not listening but observing, as this then enables them to make judgments based on what you are saying. Moreover, they will often only actually hear the bits they want to hear and ignore the rest of what you say.
Their Actions While Listening
It is also worth looking at the actions of the person while they are listening to you. They may seem as though they are engrossed in what you have to say. However, you may notice the odd reaction that says otherwise, such as the rolling of the eyes or yawning blatantly while you are talking. Some may also start to sigh partway through the conversation, which could indicate they are bored of listening.
They Form Cliques
Another thing that covert narcissists often do is to form small cliques of people who they can control, and their aim is to take the higher rank in this group. You may notice that they talk about other people behind their backs within the group and encourage other clique members to join them. It is a little like the cliques you see formed in High Schools and colleges among girls who like to think they are popular or jocks.
They Love to Blame Others
Like classic narcissists, the covert version likes to blame others for anything that goes wrong in their lives rather than accept blame themselves. However, while the classic narcissist will be open and voice their opinion on who was to blame, the covert one keeps it to themselves but will secretly be blaming anyone else but themselves.
Don’t Be Fooled!
Because these narcissists are covert and very good at hiding what they are, they can fool other people with even greater ease than the classic narcissist. So, make sure you look out for the signs to avoid getting fooled!