Ladies, society is designed to make sure we underestimate our self-worth. From the schoolyard to the workplace, to advertising, to social media. Subliminal messages train our minds to settle for less than we deserve in all aspects of our lives. We’re better than that. 

Especially when it comes to dating. Selecting a partner is a huge deal.

Personally, I want an equal. I want someone who is capable of standing on their own two feet. I’m not here to mother anyone. I want an emotionally mature, kind-hearted individual with ambition. Is that too much? Should I aim for less? 

I genuinely enjoy being single.

I would rather be self-sufficient and whole by myself than stuck in a desperate relationship because I settled for less. There is no deadline. My time is precious and I’d rather spend it on friends and family than romantic pursuits that aren’t worthwhile. Obviously, I’m not perfect. I’m not holding out for someone who is perfect either. We all have flaws and shortcomings and room for self-improvement. People change. Finding someone with the potential to grow and better themselves is the goal.

We are wholly responsible for setting our standards and boundaries.

Though, the pressure of society can seem overwhelming at times. A single person in their mid-twenties is clearly too fussy. If there’s no ring on your finger by the time you’re 30, there’s obviously something wrong with you. You’re deemed too picky. Too difficult. Panicking to tick those boxes is a sure-fire way to invest in a miserable future.

Entering into a relationship for the sake of it isn’t good for you or anyone else. Maybe they’ll change. Maybe you can shape them into your idea of what’s right for you. They’ll grow up. That personality trait will lessen with time. They’ll want kids eventually. They’ll go to the gym and clean up their diet. They cheated on their ex, but they won’t cheat on you. Ignoring the warning signs and disregarding personal deal-breakers is harmful. Fortunately, it isn’t necessary.

There’s over 7 billion people on the planet.

Someone out there has the same idea of love as you. Don’t apologise for having standards. Most of the time, they’re not unreasonable. I want an adventurous someone who can make me laugh. I don’t want to be stuck in a relationship with someone who is almost what I need. I want a naturally compatible partner with similar dreams for the future. I won’t settle for less.

If that makes me too bratty or too picky or too precious, fine. 

I have high expectations and I won’t lower them for anyone. I’ve seen healthy, beautiful relationships in motion and it gives me hope. They’re few and far between, but they exist. I will not settle for less. I will not grow old feeling unfulfilled and frustrated. I do not want to find myself in a dead-end union because I didn’t have the self-respect and courage to hold out for what I deserved. I’m better than that, and so are you.