He's A Grown Man — You Can't Fix Him And You Shouldn't Have To

It may sound harsh, but a grown man who requires fixing is not someone worth keeping in your life. Believing that "I can change him" is not optimism, but rather a sign of naivete. While individuals can change and improve themselves, it is not your responsibility to bear the weight of their personal issues. Attempting to fix a grown adult alone is an insurmountable task that you shouldn't have to undertake.

1. Fixing a man is not your job

It's not your role to dictate how or why someone should change themselves for your benefit. If you and the other person aren't compatible from the beginning, that's unlikely to change in the future. A grown adult who requires fixing should not be your responsibility and is not suitable for a relationship.

2. You don't need any more stress in your life

Daily life can be stressful enough with work, school, bills, and other concerns, such as super volcanoes. Attempting to fix a man should not even be a consideration as it's highly likely to be unsuccessful. Holding onto a relationship that was destined to fail is not worth the effort.

3. His BS shouldn't overtake your life

If you frequently find yourself attempting to fix your partner and resolve all of their problems, you may be burdened with issues that are not your responsibility. Grown adults should be capable of managing their own problems without negatively impacting others, and you don't have to fix someone who lacks that ability.

4. It's okay to be incompatible with someone

Humans are intricate beings with distinct preferences, aversions, aspirations, and unpleasant habits. Even if both of you are honest and decent, your characteristics can easily clash. Incompatibility doesn't necessarily indicate that your boyfriend needs fixing; it may simply indicate that it's time to move on. Not every man you date will be a suitable match, and that's perfectly acceptable.

5. Why get involved with someone you don't even like?

If you have a long mental list of things you intend to change about a guy, it's impossible to genuinely like him. Men aren't objects that exist to meet your personal expectations. If you don't envision a future with the person standing in front of you, it's imprudent to engage in a relationship.

6. Your love isn't all-powerful

Simply having strong feelings for a man doesn't mean that he will magically become whole and receptive to your efforts to fix him. Love is a powerful emotion, but it can't solve every problem. If a grown man possesses certain traits that are unchangeable, your feelings are unlikely to rectify them.

7. Fixing is not the same as helping

A man who desires to change must undertake it independently. You can provide support, but attempting to fix him on your own won't be beneficial. You will become an emotional crutch that he relies too heavily upon to get through his day.

8. Relationships shouldn't be forced

Trying to force two mismatched puzzle pieces together is futile. Relationships do require work, but you shouldn't have to fix a man to the point where he's "passable" enough to fit into your life.

9. You shouldn't need to be fixed either

Using a relationship to move towards becoming the person you desire to be is not advisable. Being a robust and steady individual before initiating a romantic relationship will always yield better outcomes than two dysfunctional individuals pretending to be in a committed relationship. If you experience so many difficulties that you undermine every relationship you enter, you should take responsibility and make some changes before causing more pain.

10. Maybe he doesn't even need to be fixed

Creating an idealized image of your perfect partner may result in a set of arbitrary standards that your current partner might not meet. Failing to meet your standards does not necessarily mean that he is a flawed individual who requires fixing. What you may see as annoying qualities may be charming eccentricities to another woman. It is best to let him go and move on.