Thinking about giving him/her the key to your home is both as terrifying as it is exciting since it is opening the door to a new level of commitment and intimacy. Apart from that, all the advice you have been receiving from friends and family; deciding if you & your bae are ready to share a key can be somewhat confusing. Each and every relationship unfolds at its own pace; it is vital to find the perfect time to give your boyfriend or girlfriend the key. In other words, it is a decision that should be based on the stage of your relationship, or how the relationship is unfolding, rather than the length of time you have been together.
Here's When To Give Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend A Key To Your Home
Below are a few recommendations to base your decision on when it's the right time to give your partner the key to your home.
Take as much time as possible.
This gives people dating enough time to cycle around most of life's struggles that could bring out challenges in a relationship. Most people believe that committing to sharing a space with a partner is a much bigger challenge than planning for an actual wedding, which is why it is super important to form an initial bond between each other before taking the plunge. That way, it is easy to lock down some fundamentals like what space the other partner will occupy with his/her stuff, etc.
Ensure that you know/understand your new perspective 'roommate' well.
I'm not just talking about his/her favorite color or how he/she takes his/her coffee. You need to understand the nuances of their preferred lifestyle. Get to know his/her quirks and habits. These are some of the things I have seen erupt into small fights or even separation. Having some base knowledge of some things like how they are with their cleanliness, or their privacy considerations, and whether you can live with such things can offer help in making an informed decision.
Being suspicious of your partner is a big red flag.
If she/he seems too anxious or dependant on the relationship, or is happy that you will not be getting usual visits from your friends as a result of him/her getting access to your home, you are both in trouble. If giving your boyfriend or girlfriend the key to your home results in a significant loss of your independence, that is the onset of a relationship struggle.
The best time to exchange house keys is when you have set the long-term goal of the relationship.
Sliding into a major decision without any forethought does not bode well for the future of the relationship. Intentions, values, and goals should often be discussed first.
Signs That You Are Ready To Give Your Partner The Key To Your Home.
1) You are ready to give him/her the key if you do not feel some form of pressure
If you are feeling a sense of pressure to hand him/her a key to your home from anyone, including your partner, it may not be time to.
2) You are ready to give him/her the key if you have had a big disagreement & survived
If you can get through a disagreement that you thought could have ended your relationship by talking out issues, then you may survive through your new commitment.
3) You are ready to give him/her the key if you've defined the relationship
Take some time to have the "What are we?" talk. You will be surprised to find that most people in a relationship tend to be on different levels when it comes to defining their relationship status and expectations.
4) You are ready to give him/her the key if you do not ignore problems
The time you are already spending together can be the right barometer for whether you are ready to share space.
5) You are ready to give him/her the key if you are already simulating the situation
If you may be spending three or four nights per week together, you should be getting some sense of what it is like to spend so much time with your partner before you give him/her the key.
Ultimately, deciding to give your partner the key should be as a result of what your heart wants and what brings you happiness, not waiting till you think it has been long enough to give him/her the key. Giving your partner the key to your home and spending more time together is a nice way to find out whether this person is right for you. You get to plan and discuss every potential situation that may cause conflict in the relationship.
A true compatibility will not be uncovered until you are sharing space more often.