It's rare to find someone who willingly wants to be someone's backup plan, but sometimes people do it out of fear of being alone. However, settling for this kind of arrangement is a major error that can be easily avoided. Instead, it's better to wait for that one person who will prioritize and choose you above all others. Here's why you should hold out for that special someone who will make you their first and only choice.
1. There's someone for everyone
I may sound cheesy, but I firmly believe that there's a perfect match for everyone. It can be challenging to maintain that belief when you're still searching while everyone else seems to be finding love. Nevertheless, don't lose hope, as your ideal partner is out there. Just because you haven't crossed paths yet doesn't mean they don't exist. Keep faith.
2. Past relationships can prepare you for your soulmate
Meeting the right person often requires going through a few wrong ones, so don't be discouraged. However, it's crucial to extract valuable lessons from bad relationships that can aid you on the path to finding your forever partner. The most valuable dating advice I've received is to never leave a relationship empty-handed or heartbroken. Always learn something from it, even if it's a lesson on what you don't want in a relationship. Use those experiences to grow and be ready for your ideal match.
3. You'll never have to sweat the small stuff
Being with someone who chooses you first and loves you unconditionally will alleviate a tremendous amount of stress. On the other hand, settling for someone who undervalues you or treats you as replaceable will cause you to stress over trivial matters. You'll constantly fret about whether you're thin, pretty, or available enough for them. You'll scrutinize everything you say and do, ignoring your own feelings to ensure their happiness. If you feel dispensable to them, you'll worry that the slightest imperfection will drive them away, making life unbearable.
4. You'll never feel inadequate
I've experienced situations where I felt like I wasn't someone's top choice, causing me to constantly question my self-worth. I'd torture myself with negative thoughts, comparing myself to other women and wondering why I wasn't good enough to be loved. It takes finding someone who chooses you first to see that it was never about your worth. The person who prioritizes you will always make you feel valued, cherished, and beautiful. You'll never doubt your worth again, and you'll realize that the person who treated you as a backup plan was the one who wasn't good enough.
5. You won't have to change yourself
When you're in a relationship with someone who considers you a second choice, you may feel the need to alter and conform to their idea of the perfect partner. This approach is flawed for several reasons. If you're constantly putting on a façade, how will they ever know the authentic you? Furthermore, if they make you feel like you can't be yourself around them or they'll abandon you, they're not the right match for you. The person who prioritizes you will never pressure you to be someone you're not or pretend to fit in.
6. You're too good to settle for anyone
Staying in a relationship with someone who consistently undervalues and mistreats you, refusing to prioritize you, is a form of settling, and it's not acceptable. You possess beauty, kindness, and uniqueness, and you deserve a partner who recognizes and appreciates all of these qualities and treats you like the precious gem that you are.
7. The one for you will show you a love you've never had before
When someone fails to prioritize you and takes you for granted, it's possible to have affection for them and experience fleeting moments of joy in the relationship. However, you won't fully comprehend the depth of happiness and contentment you're capable of experiencing until you meet the person who selects you as their first choice. With them, you'll encounter a love unlike any other, and you'll feel genuinely valued and adored. Trust me, once you encounter that sensation and that sort of partnership, you'll question why you ever settled for anything less.
8. You'll be happier than you've ever been
Being in toxic relationships where your partner views you as a secondary option or dispensable can take a toll on your emotional, mental, and physical well-being. Conversely, being in a healthy relationship where you're treasured can energize and enliven you. With the right partner's backing, you'll be able to thrive in all aspects of your life.
9. You can get excited about the future
When you're with someone who consistently chooses and values you, it can make you feel enthusiastic about your future together. It's natural to dream about the life you could build together when you're with someone who loves and supports you. Whether it's starting a family, exploring the world, or creating a home together, the possibilities are endless when you're with that special person who makes you feel like the center of their universe.
10. You can rest knowing you've found "The One"
Not all wonderful relationships end up lasting forever, but some of them do. It may sound cliché, but it's true that when you find the one, you just know it. Knowing that you and your partner are meant for each other is an incredible feeling, and it's definitely worth the wait.
