Although some individuals may not encounter a disastrous and emotionally draining relationship that they can't seem to break away from, the majority of us will have to experience one at some point, which can actually be beneficial. The emotions of pain, anger, and fury that come with such a relationship are necessary and can enhance your romantic life in the long run. Here's why:
1. You learn how to recognize crazy in the future
Once you have personally witnessed it, there is no mistaking it for anything else. While there may be differing degrees and variations of erratic behavior (which should not be confused with genuine mental health problems), these can come into play, particularly if your ex-partner is not aware of them or deliberately conceals them. The essential thing is that you will be able to identify self-centered, narcissistic, and abusive actions once you have gone through them with your former partner.
2. You figure out exactly what you're worth
In a toxic relationship, it's effortless to forget your worth and lose sight of who you are, particularly if your partner doesn't acknowledge or deliberately undermines your value. Nevertheless, after you've overcome the relationship and moved on, you recognize that you deserve so much more than you previously accepted from others. You make a promise to yourself never to settle for anything less than what you deserve.
3. Recognizing the red flags is easier after you experience them firsthand
After enduring a terrible relationship, it becomes much easier to detect warning signs such as white lies, half-truths, exaggerations, and secretive conduct. This is a positive outcome of having gone through a difficult experience; you learn to recognize the signs of danger and take action before the situation becomes unbearable. It's like being able to see the smoke before the flames erupt, allowing you to leave before things get out of control.
4. Now you know what you can handle
Although you may be able to cope with various problems, peculiarities, and quirks, everyone has their breaking point. Your most challenging relationship teaches you what you can and cannot tolerate, allowing you to make better decisions in the future. This applies to both significant and minor issues, and there's no need to judge because everyone has their limits.
5. Your problem-solving skills are probably awesome
I'm sure you have become skilled at diffusing tense situations and steering clear of conflict. Although these abilities will come in handy in the future, I hope you'll be able to use them in more positive circumstances. It's likely that you learned these skills while attempting to avoid pointless arguments or passive-aggressive behavior with your ex-partner.
6. Drama queens no longer intimidate you in the slightest
Speaking of drama, having experienced a relationship with the king or queen of dramatic behavior, it's likely that histrionics don't even register as significant to you anymore. However, there's a chance that you were the one who contributed to the drama in your trainwreck relationship. It's possible, and it does happen.
7. You accept that you can't change people and give up trying
No matter how much you love or attempt to change someone, it's impossible. You are only accountable for your own actions and responsible for your own change. Other people must want to change themselves, which involves acknowledging the necessity for it, and that's a complex issue on its own.
8. You realize that stability truly is kind of essential
The significance of stability is often taken for granted until it is no longer present. In a trainwreck relationship, one of the defining characteristics is that you never have a clear idea of where you stand because your partner intentionally keeps you off-balance much of the time.
9. No relationship can survive without trust
Ironically, destabilizing someone often leads to a loss of trust. Over time, this lack of trust can erode the relationship, resulting in its eventual demise. Sometimes it ends with a big confrontation, while other times, it just fades away.
10. Love isn't always enough
It's possible to love someone deeply and still choose to leave them. Sometimes it's necessary to do so for your own survival. At some point, self-preservation becomes a priority, and even though leaving may be painful, staying would cause even more harm.