Letting go of someone you can't have is a tough lesson to learn. It's easy to become obsessed with someone who will never be yours, but it's important to move on. Here are some steps you can take to start the process of letting go and moving forward.
1. Focus On His Flaws
Focusing on his great biceps and cute texts, you may have developed an infatuation for him, but he also has a gym selfie as his phone wallpaper and poor grammar skills. To stop your obsession, try to shift your focus to his negative traits and dealbreakers you've been ignoring. This will make it easier for you to move on and say goodbye.
2. Go No-Contact
I understand that you enjoy conversing with him, but it may be necessary to end all communication with the person you're obsessed with in order to break the cycle. While absence can occasionally increase one's feelings for someone, more often than not, it allows you to see that the individual wasn't providing much value to your life.
3. Eliminate All Evidence Of Him From Your Life
Yes, even that hoodie he lent you that you keep "forgetting" to return. You don't have to burn it, but at least stash it away in your closet for a while instead of wearing it around the house or sleeping in it. If you have pictures together on social media, take them down. Do your best to eliminate anything that reminds you of him. It will be painful at first, but you'll appreciate it when you're no longer spending hours rereading all the texts he's ever sent you.
4. Find A New Crush
Finding someone new to occupy your thoughts may not be easy, but it's worth a shot. It doesn't have to be a serious crush, just someone you find interesting or attractive. Spreading out your attention may help you shift your focus away from your infatuation with That Guy. Plus, who knows, you might just meet someone who's even better for you than he was.
5. Masturbate
Masturbating can be a quick way to alleviate pent-up sexual tension that might be fueling your obsession with someone. However, it's important to avoid thinking about the person you're trying to get over while doing so. Instead, try focusing on someone who looks different, as this may help shift your sexual attraction away from the person you're trying to forget.
6. Go Out And Have Fun
Although it may be difficult to face the world when you're feeling rejected or missing someone, going out in public can be beneficial in shifting your focus away from the person you're obsessing over. Staying at home, wallowing in sadness, and constantly checking your phone for messages will only prolong your suffering. Spending time with friends and engaging in social activities can help you break free from the cycle of self-destruction and bring a new perspective to your situation.
7. Stay Away From Things That Remind You Of Him
To move on, avoid places and things associated with him, like skipping that song on the radio or avoiding the restaurant he used to work at. This doesn't have to be a permanent change, but it will help your mind break the connection between him and those memories.
8. Focus On Your Own Happiness
It may sound like a cliche, but fixating on someone else often means relying on them for your happiness. Your mood depends on whether they "liked" your latest selfie on Instagram, and you stress yourself out wondering why they haven't responded to your text. It's tough to break free from that cycle, but you can make it easier by focusing on making yourself happy. Do things you enjoy and prioritize loving yourself. You'll be surprised at how much easier it is to move on once you start putting yourself first.
9. Be Honest With Yourself
Sometimes we tend to make excuses for why things aren't working out with the person we like, but we need to stop lying to ourselves. If we want to move on, we have to face the truth. Even though it might hurt, we need to remind ourselves that our brains are in charge, not our hearts.
