Published in Oct 2019 / Updated in Apr 2021
Personally, I think it’s a good idea to know where you stand in your relationship. You know, face the harsh truths early enough and pull the plug on the relationship if it comes to that.
Trust me, it does not hurt to know what you got yourself into before you go all in and start the all-too-familiar “I wish I knew” sob stories.
Your family and friends have probably heard them enough times already, although they might not admit it. You know, just to be polite.
On far too many occasions, I have watched as people try to turn a relationship into something it’s not. HUGE MISTAKE. And a monumental waste of time if you ask me.
I mean, what’s the point of trying to find your happily ever after relationship in a guy who’s only with you for a good time in bed?
You have to understand something: relationships are puzzles. They can be intricate mazes that take you round and round in circles before you finally figure out where the exit to the answers you seek can be found.
And just when you think you have everything figured out and can make a lifetime judgment call, the scene changes and you are back to square one.
I know we have all been there, playing back the memories to find answers trying to resolve a current or future relationship problem.
Unfortunately, relationships are never black and white. Only a few are (some people get all the luck).
The rest have to be put under careful observation and tested before you accept you are clueless and say “to hell with it” and go with whatever your guts tell you.
Some lovers make bold romantic gestures that blow you away; before acting cold and making you feel like total crap. Others will disappoint you from time to time, drive you crazy, but then come through for you when you need them the most in ways you cannot imagine.
Then there are perfect relationships.
You should be very familiar with these. If you are not already in one, then they regularly feature in your prayers, wishes, and greatest hopes in your life.
But there is something you have to understand: you cannot be perfect for everyone.
Even if you become a loving, romantic, and selfless partner who is faithfully supportive, you still have to find a perfect partner for a person with these qualities.
Compatibility is key. That’s all I’m saying.
Sugar is perfect for coffee, but salt is the real deal if you want your steak to taste heavenly. So, there is no universally good partner.
Wait. What am I getting at?
It’s pretty simple actually. If you want the right relationship, understand yourself and what you can offer, and find someone who wants that and can give you what you need.
You’ve heard of couple goals, right? They are not a joke. They matter. Like, A LOT.
Otherwise, you and your partner will be like two people heading in opposite directions if you get into a relationship without a similar endgame in mind.
And reciprocity. Yes, a relationship needs that. All responsibilities cannot be heaped on one partner. That’s toxic, and the relationship will be a ticking time bomb when the overburdened partner cannot offer the bone-crashing, draining, and one-sided loving anymore.
And now, let’s have a look at some kinds of relationships you might experience in your life.
23 Relationship Types
We are not saying that this is the exhaustive list of relationships you can find yourself in. So, don’t call us out on it if you don’t find yours among them.
The important thing is that knowing which kind of relationship you are part of. From there, you can try to improve on it, or decide if that kind of relationship has a place in your life or not.
It’s entirely your decision. And now, the countdown begins…
1. Open Relationships
These are not for the fainthearted, although social media would have us believe they are pretty normal. When in this relationship, you emotionally commit to your partner but you are free to have other people fulfill your sexual needs.
2. Toxic Relationships
Obviously, there are many subcategories within this broad class of relationships. The funny thing about toxic relationships is that the world may think of them as perfect, while those in them are going through hell just to be together. You can never be happy in this kind of relationship. Never.
3. Complicated Relationships
These are not easy. You know there are serious problems in the relationship, and half the time you are not even sure the relationship is alive or dead. What makes it worse is that none of you has a solution or seems willing to do what it takes to fix the relationship.
4. Codependent Relationships
In this relationship, you or your partner is way too dependent on the other. If you are the codependent partner, you cannot decide anything on your own. Basically, you are like a parent and a child.
5. Long-Distance Relationships
You love each other and are totally committed to each other. However, the physical distance between the two of you keeps you from enjoying physical intimacy. Suspicions and jealousy might be an issue here.
6. Controlling Relationships
This is another kind of unhealthy relationship where one partner dominates the relationship while the other tags along. Think of a boss and their assistant. Basically, one of the partners expects to dictate the other without being questioned.
7. Emotional Relationships
These are secret because you already have a partner. You might not even accept that you are in love with this other person until it ruins your current relationship.
8. Negotiation Relationships
You seem happy. Seem. However, everything goes to hell every once in a while, at which point you have to sit down and renegotiate and make compromises to keep going forward.
9. Brought-Together-By-Loss Relationship
You have both been through the hell of losing someone close, probably a lover. And you both needed someone who could understand what you were going through.
All this checks out, and it makes perfect sense. But you turned the temporary need for each other into a relationship.
This relationship might not go on for long unless there is more holding you together. Otherwise, once your wounds heal, what other reason will you have to tie yourself to this person?
10. Friends with Benefits
You get intimate, but with no strings attached. There is a long history of these relationships going south after one partner falls in love. Insecurities and jealousy have also been known to pop up and ruin these relationships.
11. The Flings
At the moment, the relationship is very satisfying. But when you dig deeper, you know that this relationship will not last.
12. Insecure Relationships
You are together, but you live lives that make each partner have doubts about your loyalty. Maybe you have many friends or have outside interactions that make them think you are interested in being in relationships with other people.
13. Asexual Relationships
You were physically attracted to each other once, and you enjoyed each other in the most intimate of ways. But you don’t care for the sex anymore, although you are still together.
14. Abusive Relationships
In these relationships, it is not just about one partner trying to control the other, but also hurting them, either physically or verbally. If you are in one of these, RUN for your dear life, and don’t look back. Abusive partners never change. That’s a fact.
15. Imperfect Relationships
You know what a perfect relationship is, and you also know that is not what you have. But you have no intention of working on your imperfect relationship to improve it. You have simply settled and don’t feel there is anything to be done.
16. Trophy Relationships
I know you have heard of trophy wives. In this relationship, one partner dates the other for their looks in exchange for material things. Think of rich middle-aged men dating pretty models half their age.
17. Age-Inappropriate Relationships
Some call them May December relationships because of the huge age gap between the partners. In this relationship, there is at least a 15-year gap between the partners. They are a PR nightmare given the issues family, friends, and society will have with such a union.
18. Sexual Relationships
Need I say more? This relationship is all about sex. That’s it. No concern for the future, emotions, suitability, or other things people care about when in relationships.
19. Sacrificial Relationships
Unconditional love, but blown out of proportion. In this relationship, one partner is head over heels in love with the other, who, unfortunately, is at best indifferent towards their loving partner. As you can imagine, the loving partner can do anything for their lover, but in all likelihood, there will be no reciprocity.
20. Love-Hate Relationships
You need your partner, but they are not good for you because they often frustrate you and drive you crazy. Sometimes you can’t stand being apart, but at other times, you can’t stand being together.
21. Distracted Relationships
Yes, the attraction (and even love), might be there between the two of you. But you are just too busy with other things in your life to enjoy each other and the relationship. Does this remind you of your college sweetheart? I thought so.
22. Unhappy Relationships
You are not happy in that relationship, and you could leave if you had the chance. But you have kids or don’t want a divorce, or your family would not be thrilled about you breaking up the relationship.
23. Perfect Relationships
If you have this relationship, you have made it to a world many people can only fantasize about. In this relationship, you are very compatible, you are secure, you support each other, you are happy, you have similar relationship goals and you love each other to the moon and back.
You accept each other with all your imperfections. Many people wish they had a relationship like yours, while you two soulmates feel so lucky to have found each other. Your relationship is simply a dream.
And that’s it, folks. What kind of relationship are you in? Would you like to change it? No? Maybe you are in a perfectly happy relationship already, you lucky duck!