The institution of marriage appears to be fighting a losing battle. Right off the bat, half of all marriages end in divorce. Some of the factors that come into play include educational level, religious differences, and so forth.
But divorces are not just hard on the divorcing partners. The lives of their kids can also get disrupted. With divorce comes a lot of uncertainty about the future, and an immense level of stress on all involved.
Children feel betrayed, abandoned, guilty, and angry. Many act out their negative feelings and can even put their own futures in jeopardy.
Divorce should not be the first option a couple should take when the marriage is on the rocks. Some marital unions can be rescued from the devastation of divorce. But just to be clear, there are issues that you should not ignore in your marriage if you don't want to end in a divorce court. They include the following.
1. Negative Communication
Communication can get really crappy in a marriage. You know that your communication has broken down when you or your partner feels insecure, uncared for, withdrawn, or depressed afterward. The tone used in conversations also matters. And this does not apply to verbal communications only, but nonverbal communication too.
2. When There's No Consensus On How Differences Should Be Resolved
Sometimes, marriage is a battlefield, and the goal is to find peace despite your differences. This takes skill. So, unless you have resolved all the issues in your marriage, the conflicts can go beyond the point of no return and cause a divorce. You might know what's wrong, but lack the skills to resolve the issues. In such cases, a marriage counselor can help.
3. Partner Acting Out On Negative Feelings
Whatever is on the inside eventually manifests itself on the outside. Even bottled feelings surface. When one partner is resentful or disappointed, it will show in the way they act. Unless a healthy way of dealing with such feelings is found, the acting out can make the marriage end.
4. When There's Been An Affair, Or Consideration Of One
Affairs can rock marriages to the core. They don't have to end in broken marriages. The issues that led to the affair should be dealt with properly to give the marriage a fighting chance. The same applies to cases where a partner was considering having an affair. Through counseling, such issues can be resolved so that the marriage can survive.
5. When Separation Seems Like The Only Solution
After a disagreement, a break is necessary. But when things get so bad that a partner even has to spend time away from home, then things are getting out of hand. These separations do not really solve the problem. Instead, they lead to more separations in the future. The problem that causes them is what needs to be resolved, and a marriage counselor can help in such cases.
6. When The Partners Feel Purposeless In The Marriage
Sometimes, married people move from being partners to being people who live together. This happens when there is no proper communication. Lack of intimacy can also lead to such a scenario. In such cases, a professional should step in and help keep the marriage from suffering irreparable damage.
7. When Children Are The Only Reason The Marriage Is Still Working
A couple can feel like children are the only reason they are staying together. While many people think that is best for the children, it is actually much worse. The only reason a couple should stay together is that they want to. Therefore, if children are the only reason the marriage still exists, then a professional should be allowed to step in and offer help.